Third Quarter of the Race

Team Kittens finally came pulling into Oslo Airport with Cason fuming in the back. She was pissed for a number of reasons. For one Latisha’s interior was in shambles after the incident with Mustard. To make matters worse that stupid chipmunk had saved her from falling of the roof of the vehicle. But it wasn’t just Mustard, Cason didn’t really like the fact that they had picked up two stragglers. She felt like Inge and Mustard would really slow them down. Then, to top it all off, the rest of the team had taken all her guns away from her had put them in a locked box that they called the “Cason gets these back when she’s been a good girl box.” JTR had the key. Cason took silent joy in the fact that they didn’t know about the .41 Remington Derringer she had hidden in her shoe.

They pulled into the airport and Inge went directly to her uncle’s office. Her uncle was delighted to see her and as luck would have it he knew of a C130 Hercules Transport Aircraft that was bound for Edinburgh Airport. It was taking off the next morning. Inge introduced team Kittens to her uncle. For some reason he was a little reluctant to look any of them in the eyes. JTR and Jorge found this weird but didn’t call attention to it. When he found out about the state of Latisha’s interior he told the team that fixed. Cason named him her new best friend.

Team T&T were still at the roadside concert in Goteborg. Guy Taylor, Girl Taylor, and Amos were feverishly searching for Charles. It was Guy Taylor who found him passed out in a port-o-potty.

“Charles, wake up!” said Taylor as he slapped Charles cheek, “We gotta go!”

Charles came to, “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” answered Taylor, “You must’ve passed out or something.”

“Eh,” groaned Charles, “I don’t feel so good.”

Girl Taylor came walking up just as Guy Taylor was helping Charles to his feet.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I think we may need to visit the hospital,” responded Guy Taylor.

Meanwhile teams 2XW and Arizona Heart had stopped at a gas station in Sandnes, Norway about 17 minutes out of Stavanger. Jerry was standing at the pump fueling up the Pinto. He was watching as Brian Hassett brag about his vehicle to some guy in a wimpy Smart Car.

“Det er en ordentlig bil. Hvilken modellen er det?” asked the Smart Car guy.

“What?” asked Brian.

“What model of car?” reiterated the man.

“Oh! Well, she’s a ’84 Toyota 4Runner SR5. The engine is a 1989 4.3L Chevy V6 TBI. Also Tcase… we got Marlin Crawler stock duel case setup #617, 700R4 with shift kit, Lokar ‘Nostalgic’ shifter 12 inches, and Marlin duel case adapter #617,” Brain paused to catch his breath, “As for the suspension… UHMW Polyurethane 1.5 inch body lift, Rancho steering stabilizer. In the front; modified stock rear springs up front that automatically relocates the front axle 2 inches forward, BBCS’s 15 inches in front on Marlins MC-13209 tall hoops, and a U-bolt flip kit. In the back; Chevy half ton 63 inches in the rear… 11 inches forward of stock hanger, Rancho 9012’s adjustable shocks in the rear, and a U-bolt flip kit. Not bad, eh?”

The man was stunned into silence, as was Jerry. Jerry turned around and looked at the ugly Ford Pinto with the burnt Cadillac Escalade grill bolted to the front that he and his team mates had been forced to drive. He suddenly had a spark of intense hatred for the vehicle. But then a brilliant idea came over him.

Back in Göteborg’s at the Sahlgrenska University Hospital, Charles sat on in a waiting room. He had insisted to Taylor and Taylor that he was okay but they were adamant about him seeing a doctor. The doctor finally came walking in thumbing through his papers.

“So,” said Charles, “What’s up Doc?” Charles snickered.

“Well,” responded the doctor, “You’ve got vasovagal syncope.”

“Say what?”

“Fainting… you know a sudden, and generally momentary, loss of consciousness,” said the doctor.

“No need to get funny, Doc,” said Charles, “Is it fatal?”

“Um… fainting? No,” said the doctor, “However, you want to get rid of the condition so here’s what I’d recommend. You should probably increase your salt and fluid intake. Gatorade may be particularly helpful. You’re not on any blood pressure medication are you?”

“No,” responded Charles.

“Okay,” continued the doctor, “I might ask you to try and avoid the trigger known to cause syncope but that might be a little hard.”

“What are you talking about?” Charles asked.

“Well, to be specific, you actually have a type of vasovagal syncope called micturition syncope…” The doctor paused knowing Charles didn’t know what he was talking about, “Your fainting is triggered by urination.”

“Are you telling me I’m gonna faint every time I pee?” asked Charles.

“Putting it bluntly… yea,” answered the doctor.

Charles turned away from the doctor and muttered to himself, “I don’t know how, but I’m sure Jimbob and Skycam are responsible for this.”

At that moment a neon pink Chevy Deluxe monster truck was cruising down the streets of Oslo. Skycam was enjoying the stares that the new and improved Team Sheriff’s Car vehicle was getting. She was so caught up in the moment she was sure she heard Lipps Inc’s “Funky Town” playing in the background.

“Hey Jimbob!” she yelled, “Turn that music down!”

Jimbob turned down the stereo. Skycam knew they had to get to the next check point with some speed.

Anson spoke up, “Look the way I’ve got it mapped out if we head to Stavanger we can get on a ferry that’ll get us close to Edinburgh.”

“Silly Anson,” said Skycam, “A fairy can’t carry this whole car, it would take an army of fairies!”

“No I mean…”

“I got an idea!” yelled Jimbob, “Let’s go get a hair cut!”

“Neat,” responded Skycam, “Where!?”

“Back there was a sign that said ‘Oslo Hairport this way.’”

“Um…” said Goodyn, “actually it said…”

“Let’s go!” yelled Jimbob and Skycam. With that team Sheriff’s Car was off for the Oslo Airport.

Team 2XW came walking back to the Pinto chatting and joking when Stingray happened to notice the Cadillac grill was missing from the Pinto.

“Hey,” he yelled, “What happened to the Escalade grill?!”

“Crap,” said Savage, “If Jerry has lost it we’re gonna be in trouble again!”

Just then a bright yellow 1999 Porsche 911 GT3 Coupe with a burn Cadillac Escalade grill bolted to the front came screeching into the station. Jerry was driving and came to a stop right in front of the rest of his team. Jerry had an ear to ear grin on his face.

“What the hell is this?” asked Owens.

“This, my friends,” began Jerry, “is a Porsche 911 GT3, and our new ride.”

Bryars glared at the vehicle, “It’s a coupe.”

“Minor detail,” responded Jerry, “At least we’re riding in style again… right!”

Owens leaned in to get a look at the interior, “Jerry… there is no way the five of us are gonna fit in this thing.”

“Well I’m tired of that crappy Pinto!” said Jerry.

“We are too,” said Stingray, “but at least we can all fit in it.”

Jerry gave a heavy sigh, “Yea… y’all are right.”

They all began to unbolt the Escalade grill from the Porsche. At that moment the man in the Smart Car who had been talking to Brian Hassett finished fueling up. He got in the vehicle to leave and threw the car into drive. Little did he know he had actually put it in reverse. When he hit the gas the car shot backwards right at the Pinto. As team 2XW watched in horror the man slammed on the brakes. His car screeched to a halt but it wasn’t stopping fast enough. Team 2XW held their breath. The smart car stopped right behind the Pinto and only tapped the back bumper. Team 2XW breathed a sigh of relief. As they relaxed a little the Pinto suddenly burst into flames. Team 2XW watched the Pinto burn.

“Wow,” said Brian Hassett, “Gosh… oh well, tough luck.” He hit the gas and the 4Runner sped away. Team 2XW all slowly turned to glare at Jerry and the Porsche Coupe. Jerry gave a half hearted smile.

Team Kittens had gotten a room for the night. They were enjoying much deserved sleep. JTR lay in his room lost in a dream land as a dark shadow fell on his sleeping body. It was Inge. She was standing over JTR watching him sleep. She stood there for a moment before leaning in closer to him. She lowered he face closer to his. She breathed in his smell and shivered. She let her lips lightly graze his and then allowed her lips to very lightly travel across his cheek and down his neck. Inge could feel a stirring in her body as goose bumps spread across her skin. She shivered from the sheer passion of the moment. She lay next to JTR with her lips only barley touching his neck for a moment more.

Inge then opened her mouth a little and affectionately touched JTR’s neck with her tongue before opening her mouth wide and revealing sharp jagged teeth. Her eye suddenly lost all their color and she let out a very audible hiss as she moved to bite JTR.

“No, Inge,” came a very calm and demanding voice. Inge snapped to attention and scanned the room. There was no one there. She glanced out the window and saw a shadow zip across the hotel pool. She got up and very quietly made her way outside. She looked up and saw a screech owl circling the pool.

“Lilith,” Inge whispered to herself. The owl circled the pool once more then dived down into the pool. The water smoked and bubbled for a moment before a beautiful fair skinned red head came walking out of the pool. Her skin glistened in the moonlight for a moment before the woman waved her had and was covered by a robe.

“Inge,” said Lilith, “How are you.”

“Fine,” responded Inge, “Hungry.”

“Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to find something else to feed on tonight. The people you are with are under my protection.”

Inge was puzzled, “Why?”

“They are invited to a special party I’m throwing.”

“What party?”

Lilith smiled, “I’m… I’m pregnant.” And just like that the two demons were reduced to giggling girls.

“Wow!” said Inge, “That’s so awesome! But how? I mean I didn’t think Lilu could copulate.”

“I didn’t think so either!” responded Lilith, “Then again I didn’t think I could be satisfied sexually until those race teams came through.”

“Is that why they’re invited?” asked Inge.

“Sort of,” responded Lilith, “But man, Inge, is this gonna be the party of the century. I mean I, Lilith, the beautiful maiden, the hand of Inanna… I’m having a child. No Lilu, Akhkharu, Vetalas, hopping corpse, or vampire will be turned away! We’re holding the party at the Giza Necropolis in the Great Pyramid of Giza. Ever creature of our kind will be there to celebrate the glory of my unborn child and his father… oh! The re-animated corpses of Max Schreck and Bela Lugosi will be there. They’re going to have a ten round, no rules, last man standing brawl with the re-animated corps of Bram Stoker as the referee.”

“Neat!” responded Inge, “We finally get to see Count Orlok defeat Count Dracula!”

“You mean Dracula whoop Orlok’s ass,” replied Lilith.

“If he does it’ll be because of bias refereeing!”

“Not necessarily…” quipped Madam Lilith, “I mean after all Orlok was based on Dracula… anyway, as I was saying, I need you to make sure that the team you are with makes it to Giza. I believe Cairo is on their list of checkpoints. But don’t let them know.”

“Why?” asked Inge.

“Because,” said Lilith with a twisted smile, “All of these race teams are on the menu for dinner that night. We will feast on the flesh of the lucky souls who brought me my child’s father.”

“Who is your baby’s father?”

Lilith smiled, “They call him… Jimbob.”

Team Kittens woke early in the morning, they were allowed some brief rest because Inge’s uncle’s crewman had collected up their things and Latisha, and were waiting for the go-ahead. JTR and Jorge had overhead Inge and her uncle having some sort of argument about the lack of cargo for the C130. Apparently Inge’s Uncle wanted to carry some extra cargo so that he wouldn’t lose too much money, and Inge wanted it to just be Team Kittens.

At any rate they had started to get ready to board the plane, when they heard a car horn off in the distance. Jorge used a pair of binoculars he picked up in his room. What he saw made him frown.

“Great here comes a pink Sheriff,” said Jorge.

RJ who was just bumbling around asked, “What do you mean?”

Jorge gave RJ the binoculars and pointed; RJ looked through and saw in the distance a pink Chevy Deluxe.

Skycam was still driving. She was pleasantly singing “The Saga Begins” by Weird AL Yankovick, when she saw the airport and screamed, “O my, my this here Anakin guy...”

Jimbob interrupted her and said, “Ooo that hair port is huge I bet you could have your hair cut all sorts of ways.”

Skycam circled the empty parking lot because the song had not ended.

When she finally parked Jimbob ran out yelling, “I want a hair cut!”

He ran out, stopped as he saw RJ, and he yelled out, “RJ! Your getting a hair cut too?”

RJ simply yelled back, “Jimbob! No!”

Jimbob ran into the airport and he stumbled into Jorge and Tom.

Jimbob asked, “Where do I go for a hair cut?”

Tom and Jorge were confused and just as Jorge was about to speak Anson came in with Skycam and Goodyn in tow.

He then said, “Look Jimbob thinks this is a hair port, but anyway do you guys know a way we could get to Edinburgh from here instead of taking the ferry?”

Jorge smiled as he answered, “Nope matter of fact we just stopped to use the bathroom.”

As Anson was about to answer this statement, Jimbob ran off screaming about a haircut. Suddenly he ran into Inge, knocking her down. She got up cursing in German.

With his attention drawn from the cursing Jimbob asked, “Hey do you know where I can get a hair cut?”

With eyes like fire Inge stalked towards Jimbob, “Who do you think you are running into me? I ought to kill you!”

Jimbob burped and said, “Hi my name is Jimbob.”

Inge’s eyes opened wide with shock, “YOUR Jimbob! Are you THE Jimbob?”

By this time a crowd had gathered. JTR and Cason who had been looking at the plane, came to see what the commotion was about. As Inge had begun to notice this her demeanor and tone changed.

“Oh, I'm so sorry look... um... how about, to make up for it, I let you and your team ride along on my plane.”

Jimbob shook his head and said, “No, I just want a hair cut.”

At this Anson and Goodyn jumped in, “Yes, we would love to ride with you.”

Inge told her Uncle that she was going let team Sheriff's Car on as well. Team Kittens, with the exception of RJ, protested. They asked why and Inge shrugged it off and said it was only nice to do. Team kittens had a bit of a laugh when they realized that Charles was not actually with his team. After the car had been loaded both teams boarded the plane, the cargo doors closed and the plane lifted off.

Charles had successfully taken control of Team T&T’s Microbus. He was driving like a maniac. He wanted to get to the Oslo quickly, most of all because he was getting tired of Taylor and Taylor. Corn and Cob never said much, and Amos always sat there reading his Bible. He also hated the fact that he was diagnosed with some stupid fainting thing. Although he got a headache from Jimbob and Skycam, he really wanted his team back.

After several hours they pulled into Oslo. As much as Sheriff Charles wanted he couldn’t keep driving. He decided that he would make girl Taylor drive, while he slept. He bribed Taylor with a bag of German chocolate to get them to a place they could sail the channel.

The other teams had managed to board the ferry, and the last team to board was Team 2XW. The other teams laughed pretty hard as they watched all five members get out of the small Porsche. After this bit the teams settled in for the long journey.

After two or three hours the C130 landed on the tarmac at BAA Edinburgh Airport. The teams woke up from their naps; JTR looked out the window with a grin. They had arrived.

JTR rolled over not intending to get up. The plane was still on the runway waiting for a parking spot. He looked around him and everyone was moving around. All that is except Jorge and Cason. JTR didn't think much about Jorge not being there though because he was a tracker and naturally got up early.

"Hey RJ," said JTR.

"What?" he asked stupidly.

"Where is Cason?"

RJ shrugged and replied, "I don't know. Probably setting up some kind of trap to kill all or one of us..." RJ looked around him, "... or the other team."

Meanwhile back in Oslo Team T&T pulled into the parking lot of Gene's Ferry Service. On the Ferry from Stavanger to Newcastle, Brian Hassett and Jerry Adonis were sharing a polite conversation over a hot cup of tea.

"Anson, Goodyn do either of you know where Cason is?" JTR was starting to get concerned that maybe Cason had managed to fall off the plane midflight.

"Oh, Yeah," replied Goodyn, "I heard her say she was gonna sleep in Latisha."

JTR let out a sigh of relief then strolled over to where Latisha was parked. He opened the door and looked around, but Cason was not in there. He did however find a life sized carving of Team Kittens. It was very detailed. It even featured Mustard sitting on Tom's shoulder. JTR gasped then stepped over to his own carving.

"Hey RJ!"

RJ bummbled in, "Yeah?" RJ stopped and looked at the carvings.

"Come here and look at me RJ."

RJ walked over to JTR and looked at him.

"No not at me at the statue of me."

"Oh!" They stood for a minute and looked at it.

"Do I really look like that?" RJ looked from the carving to JTR back to the carving, then JTR, the carving, and JTR again.

"Yes."

They stood for a little while longer examining the carvings before JTR ripped his eyes from them and said, "Anyways Cason is not in here, so where is she?"

"I think a better question," piped in RJ, "is where did she get all this wood."

JTR rolled his eyes then exited Latisha. That was when he saw her. Cason was rummaging through everyone's things as if looking for something. At the moment she was causing a big scene because she was going through Skycam's things.

"Give me back my candy! I had to dive off a cliff to get that!" screamed Skycam.

At that Cason jumped on Skycam. Cason did a basic police dive and flip move to handcuff Skycam's hands behind her back. Then Cason sat on Skycam while eating her candy. Skycam began to cry very loudly.

"Shut Up!" screamed Cason. Skycam did not stop crying so Cason punched her. This was too much, Jorge and Tom grabbed Cason and wrestled her to the ground. Cason screamed and struggled. It was obvious it was going to take more than just Tom and Jorge, so Anson and Goodyn helped them subdue her. JTR walked over once she could no longer lash out at people passing by.

"Cason what has gotten into you?" he demanded. Cason didn't have time to answer, because she fell asleep. Jorge, Tom, Anson, and Goodyn all hesitated to let go because they were afraid she was faking it, but she wasn't. RJ ran over and took the handcuffs off Skycam and tried to console her by telling her he would buy her more candy.

Jorge retrieved the handcuffs, "I think we should put these on her just incase she wakes up again." Everyone nodded. So the very asleep Cason had her hands handcuffed behind her and was tied to a seat. RJ walked by after Jorge finnished. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching then put a gag in her mouth.

He smiled and whispered to himself, "Just in case she tries to talk again." RJ snickered then joined the others.

"I knew Cason got angry sometimes, but I didn't think she would freak out like that," said Anson.

JTR shook his head, "Yeah me nea-"

Before he could finnish an evil laugh rang through the plane. JTR looked up and saw a man standing on top of Latisha.

He looked down at them, "I am from PETA and I am here to avenge the death of Ingrid Newkirk! It was a brilliant plan on my part! I knew that if I could take out Cason Jones then I would have an easier time getting this abomination! Now-"

JTR raisied his hand, "Wait, Uh, what do you mean take out Cason? She wasn't even there when Ingrid died."

He paused, "Oh... well... I druged her of course! With, Uh," he took out a bottle and examined it, "Zyprexa! It is used to help with some behavioral disorders. I didn't really know how to drug someone so I just picked one with a lot of side effects. Anyways you can't stop-"

A shot rang throughout the plane. The man clutched his chest then fell off Latisha. They turned to look for the source of the shot.

Cason had somehow managed to pull the .41 Remington Derringer out of her shoe. She looked at them all with a wild look in her eyes.

"Don't touch my carvings!" She yelled, "I'm taking them home with me!" She then dropped the gun and went back to sleep.

RJ turned to JTR, "Well it looks like his plan backfired."

Just then Jimbob came bounding by, "Okay, you guys ready to go?"

"Yeah," replied Anson, "Where have you been?"

"I helped park the plane!" The teams got into there cars and had to be lowered to the ground before they could head out. Jorge and Tom leaned out the window of Latisha. Their plane had somehow been landed on the Airport Tower. They shrugged and pulled their heads back inside. Team Kittens with the sleeping Cason and Sheriff's Car without the Sheriff where on their way to London.

Meanwhile, back in Oslo, T&T and Charles were boarding the Ferry at Gene's Ferry Service. The man that ran the ferry instructed them to get out of their bus and come sit on the seats in the front of the ferry. He put the key in the ignition and the whole boat started to shake.

Taylor and Taylor started to scream, "Earthquake... no, Waterquake!" The man assured them that it was okay.

"See," he said as a waterwheel came up in the back, "it is just our motor."

"That is your motor?" moaned Charles, "It's gonna take us forever to get there!"

The man running the ferry suddenly looked very creepy, "Don't worry my friend we will be there before you know it. It is time to take a trip into my imagination." The sky suddenly went dark, nothing could be seen except the creepy man running the boat. He was singing as images of flowers and colorful swirls flashed where the sky used to be. Then the images weren't so nice.

Charles couldn't take anymore, "Stop!" he yelled and the boat stopped.

"Oh, good," said the man operating the boat, "we made it. You all have a nice day!" But Team T&T didn't hear him they were already in their car and leaving.

Team Kittens and Team Sheriff’s Car made their way to the check point in Edinburgh. They stopped to get a bit to eat. As they were enjoying their meal Cason began to come to.

She woozily sat up and said, “Where… where am I?”

“Hey you!” said Jorge, “you gave us quite a scare there. We thought you’d really flipped your wig until that PETA guy came along and told us he drugged you.”

Cason stared at Jorge with a confused look in her eye, “What? Who are you?”

Jorge glanced over at JTR who was just as bewildered.

But then Anson spoke up, “She’s probably experiencing memory loss… it’s a side effect of Zyprexa.”

“Oh,” said Jorge, “Well what other side effects might she experience?”

“Well,” continued Anson, “Akathisia, amblyopia, dry mouth, dizziness, sedation, insomnia, orthostatic hypotension, weight gain, increased appetite, runny nose…” Anson paused as Cason blew her nose, “low blood pressure, impaired judgment, impaired spatial orientation, impaired responses to senses, seizures, trouble swallowing, discoloration of teeth, missed periods, problems with keeping body temperature regulated, and apathy.”

Everyone kind of sat there in shock. Cason however seemed uninterested in it all.

“How did you know all that?” asked JTR.

Anson smiled, “My phone told me.”

“WOW!” said Skycam, “Your phone is a Doctor!?”

“Neat!” chimed in RJ.

“No,” said Anson, “It has internet capability.”

“Ask it if this mole is cancerous!” said Jimbob as he pulled down his pants and pointed at his butt.

“Well how long will she be experiencing these side effects?” asked Jorge.

Anson sighed and said, “I don’t know.”

“Oh well,” said JTR, “We best be going I guess.”

“Where are we going?” asked Cason as she stood up to quick and immediately fainted.

“And that would be the Orthostatic hypotension at work,” said Anson as he picked Cason up and put her back in her chair.

“Hold on!” said Jimbob, “We need to go get hair cuts since that hair port wasn’t a hair port.” Cason’s eyes widened as she listened to Jimbob talk.

“We don’t have time for that,” said Goodyn.

“Actually,” said Tom as he fed Mustard a peanut, “I spoke to the race officials at the check point. We’re the first team to come through here. I’m betting we’re pretty far ahead of the other teams, so we probably have some time to kill.”

“No,” said Inge, “I think its best we keep moving.”

“What’s the hurry?” asked Jorge.

“No hurry,” said Inge, “It’s just… well… isn’t the point of racing to stay in the lead?”

“We’ve still got forever to go,” argued Jorge.

“Yea, but… they can’t be too far behind in all reality,” remarked Inge.

“What do you think JTR?” said Jorge.

JTR paused for a moment, “Well, we have been on this little adventure for quite some time,” he stroked his beard, “We are getting pretty scraggly.”

Cason woke up at that moment and said, “I vote that we… being me and my strange new friends… go get hair cuts!” She walked over to Jimbob, “This man… this great leader… general… president of the world… has decreed we get our hair styled! And so it shall be!” She then stood up and stomped out the door.

JTR glanced back at everyone else and said, “You heard the woman.”

They piled into their vehicles and found the nearest barber shop. About nineteen minutes from the airport they found a neat barber shop on Morningside road called “The Barber.” The two teams had just gone inside when a White VW Microbus came down the street. Guy Taylor was driving and he happened to see a Neon Pink ’47 Chevy Deluxe Monster Truck parked at a barber shop.

“Hey Charles,” said Taylor, “isn’t your team in a Chevy Deluxe monster truck?”

“What!?” said Charles as he scurried to look out the window. He saw the pink vehicle and said, “Oh… no… my team’s Deluxe is orange. That one is pink.”

“Hmm…” said Girl Taylor, “That must be a popular vehicle.”

Meanwhile inside the barber shop Jimbob was scanning the pictures on the walls. His eyes fell on a picture of a swan.

“Ooooooooooh!” said Jimbob, “I want that hair cut!”

“You want your hair to look like a swan?” asked the only stylist in the store.

“Yea!” said Jimbob.

“That’ll take hours!” shouted Inge.

“Beauty can not be rushed!” responded Cason.

“I just can’t buy her being on his side,” Jorge whispered to JTR as they took their seats.

Meanwhile, on the ferry from Stavanger to Newcastle, David Owens was putting the finishing touches on his most ingenious device ever. He had conned team Save the Silence into helping him build the contraption. Teams Save the Trees and Arizona Heart gathered around along with the other four confused members of team 2XW and other ferry riders.

Owens began to explain, “As you can see… Team Save the Silence and I have rigged the four team’s race vehicles so that they hang just over the back of the ferry. Once Michel Marceau, the leader of team Silence, throws the switch the vehicles will crank up and the back wheels will start spinning. Thanks to the way we rigged the back wheels of each vehicle… they should give extra power to the ferry and speed us along our way.”

“Great,” said Stingray, “Let’s see if it works.”

Owens signaled to Michel and he threw the switch. The vehicles all began to hum and suddenly the ferry picked up speed. Everyone cheered and Owens shook Michel’s hand for a job well done. In no time at all they where pulling into Newcastle, two and a half hours south of Edinburgh.

“Now,” said Brain Hassett, “How do we get our cars back.”

“Simple,” said Owens. He hit another switch and the rig began to pull the vehicles back on the ferry. First team Tree’s box car, then team Arizona Heart’s 4Runner, then team Silence’s MultiCAT, and finally… as the rig pulled on 2XW’s Porsche 911 GT3 Coupe the line suddenly snapped. Team 2XW watched in horror as their vehicle fell back into the ocean and sank to the bottom. A few seconds passed before the Cadillac Escalade grill came floating back to the top.

“Shit,” mumbled Owens.

Team T&T had been driving for a little over seven hours straight by the time they made it to check point 23 in London. They pulled into the check point at Buckingham Palace. There was something going on when they pulled up.

Amos poked his head out the back window and asked, “What’s going on?”

A policeman answered, “Hey… You’re Amos! I’ve been watching the race on TV, you’re by favorite racer!”

“Thank you…” said Amos.

“Oh… um… well,” continued the policeman, “Lilly Allen and Colin Farrell are signing autographs at the check point today.”

Girl Taylor stood up out of her seat, “Did he say Colin Ferrell!?”

“He did!” giggled Amos.

Before anyone could stop them Amos and Girl Taylor leapt out of the Microbus and took off for the check point. They tore through the crowd right up to the front gate where Colin Ferrell and Lilly Allen sat signing autographs. Taylor and Amos gathered their selves and walked forward.

Amos spoke up, “Hello Mr. Ferrell. I’m-”

“Amos,” said Colin Ferrell as he stood up, “I know you’ve been my favorite racer through the whole thing.”

Amos was grinning from ear to ear, “Really!?”

“Really!” responded Colin, “Can I have your autograph?”

Amos couldn’t contain the joy, “Wow! Yes! Of course!”

At that Charles and Guy Taylor came rushing through the crowd. Colin Ferrell was handing Amos a picture to sign. The race officials looked up and saw Charles. One of them approached Charles.

“Hello,” she said, “I’m Micheline Chau. I’m the President and Chief Operating Officer of Lucasfilm Ltd.”

“Oh,” said Charles, “I’m Charles Dubya… the Sheriff of Elmore County Alabama.”

“I know,” said Chau, “I didn’t see your team arrive… where are you parked?”

“Well,” responded Charles, “Funny story actually, I got separated from my team back in Berlin. I’ve been riding with team T&T until I can find them.”

“Oh Boy,” continued Chau, “That’s gonna be a problem. You see you’re supposed to be traveling with your own team.”

“I know. Does this mean we’re disqualified?”

Chau smiled a very warm and loving smile, “No, I’ll see to it that your team isn’t penalized,” she turned around to the other officials, “Has team Sheriff’s Car come through yet?”

One of them checked his clip board, “No… no, they checked in at check point 22 in Edinburgh a little over seven hours ago… we haven’t seen them.”

Chau turned back to Charles, “Okay they should be here any time so I’m just going to ask that you stay here with us until they show up, okay.”

“Okay,” said Charles.

“You want us to hang out here with you for a while?” asked Guy Taylor.

“Whatever,” said Charles.

Back in Edinburgh, the one stylist at The Barber had completed her seven hour crusade to turn Jimbob’s hair into a giant swan. Other stylists had begun to show back up and the other team members were agitatedly beginning their own hair cuts. Jimbob had grown bored of the barber shop so he ventured outside to find something to appease his restless mind. He saw Latisha and his mind began to race. He remembered a magical time long ago in a land called Australia when he and his team had ventured into Latisha and found a magical Japanese box that had magical things in it. Maybe there was another magical box in Latisha.

Jimbob walked into Latisha and began to poke around. He rummaged through Cason’s weapons chest, Tom’s suitcase, RJ’s duffle bag, JTR’s backpack, and Jorge’s lunchbox. He didn’t find much. He searched through Inge’s purse and found a Satanic Bible.

“A Santa Bible?” said Jimbob to himself, “It’s not Christmas yet.”

He put the book back, set down the purse, and suddenly his eyes fell on something hiding just under the back most seats. He walked over and pulled out the last of the magical Japanese boxes.

As he reached to open the box he said to himself, “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Wounder!”

JTR and RJ where in the barber shop and Jerry Adonis was helping his team drag a burnt Escalade grill through the streets of Newcastle. But all of them simultaneously had a sudden thought that something bad was about to happen.

JTR was getting up from his haircut when it hit him… an undeniable feeling that something bad was about to happen. JTR scanned the room but nothing was out of place. Suddenly his eyes fell on RJ and he could see RJ felt that something was wrong as well. At that moment a blinding white light came rushing through the front windows and the building began to shake.

“Where is that coming from?!” Yelled Jorge.

“It’s coming from Latisha!” Yelled back JTR.

“What the hell is that?!” came Anson’s voice.

But no one had time to answer. The world around them began to erupt in violent shaking, loud noises, and blinding light. JTR could hardly think for it all. It lasted seconds longer before JTR passed out.

JTR started to come too. He was laying down on a stone surface. He took a breath and looked up. He was lying on the road in front of Buckingham Palace.

“What the hell,” he mumbled. JTR stood up and noticed there were people all over the place. He stumbled a little.

“John?” came a feminine voice. JTR turned and saw Girl Taylor getting up off the ground.

“Taylor?” said JTR.

“What the hell just happened?” asked Girl Taylor as she approached JTR.

“I don’t know,” JTR looked around, “We were in Edinburgh and then there was this bright light…”

“We saw the light too,” said Taylor.

“Wait,” JTR thought a moment, “Were you guys here in London when you saw the light?”

“Yea.”

“You saw the light from here?”

“Yea…” Girl Taylor looked very confused, “Where did it come from?”

“Well… um,” JTR’s head hurt and he was having trouble thinking, “Um… before I passed out I remember seeing the light come from…” JTR paused for a moment as a horrible realization came over him.

“What?” said Taylor, “Where did the light come from?”

“Oh crap,” said JTR, “I… uh… I need to find the rest of my team.”

They scanned the area. JTR saw Inge lying not far from him. He also saw two members of team Save the Silence lying near a table just in front of the front gates. Colin Ferrell and Lilly Allen were passed out on the table.

“Is that… Lilly Allen and Colin Ferrell?” asked JTR.

“Oh… yea,” answered Girl Taylor, “They were here before that light.”

“Oh… okay…” JTR noticed there was a huge crowd of people that were trying to find their way back to their feet.

“Hey,” said Taylor, “Where’d our Microbus go?”

JTR looked off in the distance and saw a red 4Runner. Two more members of team Save the Silence stumbled out of the vehicle. The race officials were starting to wake up.

“Where is Ms. Chau?” said one of the officials.

JTR grabbed at his cell phone and began to dial his dad’s number. Girl Taylor reached for her phone as well. JTR heard it ring.

“Hello,” came the voice of the race official as he yelled into his satellite phone, “Ms. Chau… can you hear me? Come in…”

“Hello,” came Tom’s voice through JTR’s phone.

“Dad!” said JTR, “Where are you?”

“I… uh… I don’t know,” he responded, “I’m in some kind of… van… what?” There was a pause and JTR heard a muffled voice in the background, “Oh… it’s a Microbus.”

“You’ve got the Microbus?” said a confused JTR, “Who all is with you?”

“Um… well,” Tom paused, “Uh… Jorge is here… and uh… Stingray… one of the Save the Silence guys… what? Oh… Michel… and… uh… some Chinese lookin’ lady… she says her name is Micheline Chau.”

“Hey!” JTR shouted to the race officials, “I found Ms. Chau!”

“What’s going on?” Tom asked.

“I don’t know,” answered JTR, “I’ll call you back.”

JTR hung up as Girl Taylor was walking over.

“I’ve got Amos on the phone,” she said, “He’s got Jerry Adonis, Brian Hassett, Oaky, and Corn with him.”

“Where are they?” asked JTR.

“Where are you guys… He says they’re in Carlisle… and… and they’ve got team Save the Silence’s MultiCAT.”

“Okay,” said JTR, “see if you can find Guy Taylor.”

One of the race officials came running up to JTR, “Did you say you found Ms. Chau?”

“Yea,” said JTR, “She’s with my Dad, and Jorge. Um… call 399-2600.”

“Thanks,” he said as he began to dial.

JTR dialed Cason’s phone as Inge woozily walked over. She glanced around at all the other people.

“What’s going on,” she asked.

“Hold on,” responded JTR as he listened to the phone ring hoping Cason would be sober enough to pick up.

“Hello,” came Sheriff Charles’ voice.

“Charles?” said JTR.

“Who is this?” asked an agitated Charles.

“It’s JTR. Where’s Cason?”

“When her phone went to ringin’ she threw it at me.”

JTR chuckled, “Charles, listen, she’s drugged at the moment so keep a close eye on her. Where are you and who’s with you?”

There was a pause as Charles spoke to some one, “Um… I guess we’re in Newcastle? Which pisses me off! I was in first place until that damn light got me!”

“Who’s with you?!” JTR asked more forcefully.

“Well… uh… we got me, Cason, Anson, Goodyn, and uh… some kinda… scarecrow thing. Oh… I mean… Corn or Cob… one of the two.”

“Okay,” said JTR.

“Look I finally got my truck back,” said Charles, “I guess that’s one good thing ‘bout this whole mess. Except… SOMEONE painted it pink! Anyway… I figure we’ll pile in and see if we can’t get back to London.”

“Good,” said JTR, “You do that… and like I said, keep an eye on Cason.”

“10-4,” said Charles, and he hung up.

“What’s going on?” asked Inge again.

“I don’t know,” said JTR.

“Hey John,” said Girl Taylor, “I got Guy Taylor on the phone. He says they’re in Edinburgh and he’s got RJ, Skycam, Jimbob, and David Owens with him… and… and they’ve got your team’s car.”

“Latisha… okay,” JTR pondered, “That leaves the rest of team Arizona Heart, and Save the Trees, and… uh… Mike Savage and Steve Bryars unaccounted for.”

The race official that spoke to JTR before came back over to him, “Hey, I’ve got Ms. Chau on the phone. She says that, according to Tom and Jorge, that weird white light came out of your team’s vehicle.”

“John,” said Girl Taylor, “Guy Taylor says RJ needs to speak to you… he says it’s important.”

JTR took the phone from her, “This is JTR.”

“John,” came RJ’s voice. JTR knew something was up because RJ never called him John, “Jimbob opened the last box.”

All of JTR’s fears were confirmed. He was stunned into silence and nearly dropped the phone.

“John?” said Girl Taylor, “… John… what’s wrong?”

JTR spoke into the phone, “I’ll call you back, RJ,” he the turned to the race official, “gimme that phone.” The race official handed JTR the phone.

“Hello,” said JTR.

“Who is this?” came a feminine voice.

“This is JTR… I need to talk to my dad. Could you hand the phone to him please.”

Chau turned around, “Hey, Tom… JTR wants to talk to you.”

Tom walked over and took the phone from Chau, “Hello?”

“Dad,” JTR had a hint of worry in his voice, “Jimbob opened the last box.”

“The last box?” Tom said.

“You know,” responded JTR, “The box from the Japanese mountain route.”

“Oh,” said Tom in realization, “OH! Crap…”

“This is gonna take some explaining,” said JTR, “So… I’ll call you back.”

“Okay, bye,” Tom hung up the phone and turned to Jorge, “Jorge… uh… Jimbob opened the last box.”

Jorge hung his head and sighed. Chau, Michel, and Stingray looked very confused.

“Wait,” said Stingray, “Are you talking about more of those boxes like we opened back in Australia?”

“Sort of,” said Jorge.

“Wait,” said Chau, “I’m confused.”

Jorge spoke up, “When we were coming through Japan we took a route through the mountains. Through a series of events, that we latter decided we didn’t ever want to talk about again, we came into the possession of four packages. Now we tried to just forget the whole thing ever happened but it turns out three of those four packages came back into play during the race.”

“Oh yea,” said Chau, “I remember watching the footage… I think one had RJ in it.”

“Right,” continued Jorge, “We were warned the first package would have friendly contents, the second would cause our team to be delayed for twenty-four hours, and the third would do something to help our team.”

“Right,” said Stingray, “That’s what that whole mess in Australia was about… well what about the fourth box?”

Tom and Jorge shared a disturbed glance. Chau and Stingray both noticed.

“Well,” said Chau forcefully, “What was in the fourth box?”

“We were told,” began Tom, “that the fourth box contained…”

Jorge cut him off, “We were told it contained the most dangerous phenomenon know to man.”

“What?” asked Chau with bated breath.

Jorge had a very stern look on his face, “… The Plot Hole…”

“The what?” asked Stingray.

“The Plot Hole,” repeated Jorge, “As it was explained to us… it’s supposed to be like… like a black hole, or a mystic portal of some sort… maybe like a vortex thing. Apparently if it isn’t kept contained it will eventually consume and destroy the world with insane plot twists.”

“Why were you guys entrusted with it?” asked an agitated Chau.

Jorge and Tom exchanged another glance as they were dangerously close to breaking their pact to never talk about what happened in the Japanese Mountains.

“It all makes sense now,” came an unfamiliar voice. They all turned to see that Michel, the captain of Team Save the Silence, had spoken.

“What makes sense?” asked Jorge.

Michel began to speak again, “When we were crossing the Bay of Bengal… Mr. Hassett and I had a conversation. Woody… god rest his soul… had just saved him from the angry ship crewmen and was trying to tell him, ‘Save the tree, save the world.’ We have felt a disturbance in the silence and intend to find out what it is. Loud dealings are amidst us and I believed then as I do now that the origin of this noise echoes greatly within this entire race. It is beginning to make sense now. Your ‘Plot Hole’ is the origin of the disturbance.”

Stingray looked very confused, “So let me get this straight… Tom, your team was entrusted with four magical packages one of which contained a dangerous vortex of insanity… and Michel, your team is running this race because you think your gonna save the world from that vortex of insanity… and Woody seemed to believe you had to save some tree to stop it? Did I miss anything?”

Michel spoke up once more, “No… that covers it.”

Chau turned to Tom, “Does that ‘save the tree’ comment mean anything to you?”

“Actually,” said Jorge, “Do you remember what the shaman said about the tree?”

“Yea,” said Tom, “It didn’t make sense at the time but…”

“What shaman!?” yelled Stingray, “What happened when you guys went through the Mountains of Japan!?”

Tom and Jorge looked at each other. They really didn’t want to tell the story. At that Tom’s phone rang.

“Hello,” said Tom.

“Are you seeing this?” came JTR’s voice.

“What?” said Tom.

“Look North!” said JTR. Tom spun around as did Jorge, Chau, Stingray, and Michel. Off in the distance they could see a weird portal of some sort opening up in the sky. Lightening was striking out of it periodically.

“Give me the phone, Tom,” said Chau. Tom handed it to her, “JTR, put my race officer on.”

“Okay,” said JTR as he turned to the race official, “Ms. Chau wants to talk to you.”

JTR turned to the gathering policemen, “Can we get up higher and get a better look at that thing?”

The policeman replied, “Yea, get in my car.”

JTR, and Girl Taylor leapt into the police car. Inge started to follow.

“Stay here, Inge.” said JTR.

“But…” Inge began.

“Just stay here, please,” said JTR with a hint of urgency in his voice. They sped off toward the Eye of London with an agitated Inge staying behind. They came screeching to a halt in front of the Eye.

The officer with them leapt out of his vehicle screaming, “London Metropolitan Police! I need you to get us to the top of this thing as quick as possible!” JTR and Girl Taylor followed behind as he moved forward yelling, “NSY is commandeering this structure! I need you to get us up to the highest point… don’t think just make it happen!”

Within no time JTR, Girl Taylor, and the London Metropolitan Police were high above London with a clear view of the Plot Hole forming far to the north.

“Where do you think that is?” JTR asked.

“It looks like,” the policeman began, “It may be forming over Edinburgh.”

JTR dialed a number on his phone. It rang a few times then RJ picked up.

“Hey, JTR!” he said, “If only you could see this! It’s kinda neat!”

“We can see it,” said JTR, “RJ you guys need to get out of there NOW!”

“Oh… okay.”

“Hold on,” JTR had a sudden thought, “RJ you still there?”

“Yea,” came RJ’s voice.

“Put David on the phone.”

JTR heard the phone swapping hands before Owens’ voice came through, “Hey?”

“Owens!” said JTR, “Look, we never figured out where Savage, Bryars, or the rest of teams Trees or Arizona Heart were. I haven’t heard anyone say they were at the barber shop we where at… If the plot hole has swapped all of our locations I’ll bet that’s where they are and they’ve most likely got your Pinto and the box car with them.”

“We don’t have a car anymore,” responded Owens, “All we have is that damn escalade grill.”

“Then they’re worse off than I thought,” said JTR, “Go find them and get out of there. RJ can get you to the barber shop we were at.” Suddenly JTR noticed an incoming call on his phone, “Owens I gotta go! Call me back when you guys are safely out of Edinburgh,” JTR swapped over, “Hello?”

“JTR! This is the Lucas Film race officer. We need you guys back down here… something’s going on.”

“We need down from here,” said JTR. At that moment they suddenly noticed they were at the ground level.

“Weren’t we just at the top?” said Girl Taylor.

“Well,” said the policeman, “That was convenient.”

They jumped into the police car and sped back to Buckingham Palace. When they got there they noticed the front doors of the Palace were opening.

“What’s wrong?” asked the policeman.

“There was a loud noise inside the Palace,” answered the race official, “Then the doors started to open.”

They all stood there watching as the doors opened all the way and someone started to walk out.

“Who is that?” asked Taylor.

Suddenly they all recognized him. It was George Bush.

“Wow,” said Bush, “What the hell happened? I was just sittin’ with momma watching Saturday Night Live when suddenly I was here.”

“Okay,” said JTR, “This is getting a little odd.”

At that JTR and Taylor both felt something tugging at their pant legs. They looked down and saw two small children. The one that tugged at JTR’s pant leg was a little girl. She was holding a teddy bear and a hat like JTR’s was hiding her red pigtailed hair. She looked up at JTR with beautiful brown eyes. The child tugging at Taylor’s pant leg was also a little girl. She had a stuffed animal duck and shorter brown hair. Taylor reached down and picked her up only then noticing her radiant blue eyes.

“Mommy!” said the child Taylor had in her arms.

“Daddy!” said the child JTR was staring down at.

JTR picked her up, “What’s your name?”

“Silly Daddy,” she said with mock agitation, “My name is Alora.”

“And I’m Fox!” said Taylor’s child very proudly.

“Oh Boy,” said JTR.

JTR felt a hand on his shoulder, “You said it man.”

He glanced back to see Scot Bakula and Dean Stockwell standing behind him.

“Okay,” said JTR to himself, “Now that one just seemed like more of a dumb joke than a plot twist.”

George Bush walked up to JTR, “Are you John Ray?”

“Uh… Yea…”

“Well,” Bush continued, “What do we do about this ‘Plot Hole’ thing?”

JTR stood there holding Alora, looking into the eyes of the President of the United States of America, knowing they were facing certain doom if he didn’t act promptly, and not having one clue what to do. At that his phone rang.

“Hold that thought,” said JTR as he reached for his phone, “Hello?”

“JTR!” came the voice of a very startled Amos, “Something just happened to Corn!”

“What?”

“He just burst into flames and when the fire died out he was a blond woman!”

“What!?” said JTR, “Who?”

“Um… she says her name is Kim Jones and that she’s Cason Jones’ sister,” explained Amos.

JTR sighed, “Thanks for calling me but there’s nothing I can do about it, I’ll call you back,” JTR hung up and dialed Cason’s phone.

Anson picked up, “Hello?”

“Anson,” said JTR, “has anything weird happened to Cob?”

“Yea,” said Anson, “A few minutes ago he burst into flames and turned into Larry Semon.”

“Thanks,” said JTR, “I’ll call you back.”

“More crazy things happening?” asked Girl Taylor.

“Yea,” said JTR, “Mr. President… uh… I uh… I have no idea what to do…”

“Oh,” said George Bush, “Well then… I guess we better come up with a plan.”

“Yea,” said JTR as Alora giggled at him with loving adoration, “Yea, we better…”

Tom and Jorge were leaning up against the Microbus. The situation had become somewhat dangerous… and a great deal insane.

“Look,” said Stingray, “Now is no time for modesty or pride. Michel here thinks he and his team can stop the Plot Hole, but we don’t understand this ‘save the tree, save the world’ thing.”

“Right,” chimed in Chau, “Whatever happened to you in the Japanese Mountains is important… any little detail could help us out at this point.”

“That may be,” said Tom, “but it was too embarrassing… too… too…”

“To unspeakable,” said Jorge.

“Look!” said Chau, “If what you say about that damn Plot Hole is true then something needs to happen! You two are sitting on information that could save the world! Now put aside your stubborn pride and tell us what happened!”

Tom suddenly felt very guilty, “Okay look… here’s what happened. We had lost time coming through the Kuril Islands and Tokyo so we decided to take a route through the mountains to Hiroshima…”

“Hold on!” said Jorge, “Tom, I maintain that if you don’t want to tell the story you shouldn’t have to!”

“Alright,” yelled Chau, “That’s it!” Chau reached behind her and produced a Mauser C96. Tom through his hands up.

“Hey!” said Jorge, “Wo! Hold on, there is no need for that!”

At that moment a neon pink ’47 Chevy Deluxe monster truck went roaring past at break neck speed. It disrupted them bad enough that Jorge found a moment a reached back to pull a .44 Magnum Revolver on Chau. Stingray then drew a Gold Plated .50 Desert Eagle on Jorge. Finally Tom drew a M9 Beretta pistol on Stingray. The moment suddenly became very tense.

“Hey Charles,” said Goodyn, “Wasn’t that some of our fellow racers we just flew by.”

“Might have been,” said Charles, “Don’t care… we gotta move!”

“Um… just an observation,” said Jorge, “Where did we get these guns all of a sudden?”

Everyone kind of glanced at everyone else. Michel reached back and pulled out a silenced PP7. Mustard reached into his tail and pulled out a miniature Uzi SMG.

“Huh…” said Tom, “Good question.”

“Don’t you see!” yelled Chau, “The Plot Hole is already supporting us killing each other!” Tom and Jorge glanced at each other but no one lowered their gun. As a matter of fact Mustard and Michel pointed their guns at each other so as not to be left out.

“Now,” continued Chau, “What happened in the Japanese Mountains?”

Tom spoke up again, “Well if y'all think it’ll help then here goes. As we rode through the mountain pass we were looking around and we noticed a small shack with a big sign on it that said, ‘Mr Ching’s: fortune teller and shaman.’ So JTR shouted out, ‘Hey look a Japanese shaman lets go see him.’ We all thought it was a bad idea and seeing as we were behind already we tried to get him to stop. But he explained to us that we would probably each go off on our own wild adventures during the race and we might as well start in Japan.

“We walked in and there was this creepy incense smoke everywhere, and there at a small table was this small man with a big ol mustache. JTR just waltzed up to him and said, ‘Hey, we would love to get our fortunes read and see some neat shamany stuff.’ The shaman looked at us and said in his craggily old man voice, ‘Ahh I see where your president gets it from. So you want your fortunes read eh. Well that should be easy enough. Give me a moment to set up.’ After that he set up a bowl and a whole bunch off stuff.”

Tom cleared his throat. As he did so a member of PETA suddenly showed up and looked at Mustard holding the gun. The PETA man was about to shout at them when a lion leapt out and drug him off.

Stingray said, “Wow! The plot holes seems to be working for and against everything... anyway keep going.”

Tom started up again, “Well... Mr. Ching started using bones and all sorts of stuff and an image started appearing in this swirling cloud. He just sat there saying, ‘Ahh,’ and, ‘Hmm,’ and an occasional, ‘Ohh dear.’ Then he said, ‘Ok... I had to make sure who you were. Well... I'll need something of each of yours for this to work.’ We looked around in our pockets and couldn’t find anything. So we gave him some random stuff. After we did he brought out a large cauldron and started mixing them all together. When he did this a great cloud of smoke plumed up and engulfed us all.

“As we watched he started going into this trance and he started wobbling around and all that kind of stuff. After this we were kinda taken for a ride... you know the world started flying beneath our feet and we looked out and saw all sorts of stuff. We saw the world being created and we even saw Adam and Eve. Now granted all this was flashing by real fast. But anyway, we saw them get tossed out of Eden. Then as we turned back to Eden, Mr Ching started asking for more of our stuff. So we flung it in the pot. Well we watched as the door to Eden was closed and shut.

“After that the image stopped and he gave us the boxes. Essentially he said that the plot hole could possibly allow the world to know where the door to Eden is. The world was ruined the first time we dealt with the Tree of Knowledge, just image what might happen if modern man got a hold of it.” At that Tom finished his story.

Ms. Chau, Stingray, and Michel all looked at him and asked, “What was so bad about that?! How was that embarrassing?!”

Tom and Jorge sort of squirmed a bit and said, “Well.... you know how he kept asking for our stuff to put in the cauldron? We ended up striping down to our birthday suits. In his shack we kind of didn’t realize it because of the gravity of the situation and all the smoke but as soon as we went outside we realized it because at that very moment a school bus drove by, then a group of traveling nuns, and to make matters worse I think some of the Japanese TV stations were there. So I guess everybody and their brother was there to see us running necked all the way back to Latisha. When we got there it was locked, so we had to go back to Ching’s and look for our keys. You know it sure is kinda funny when ya think about it.”

At this Stingray said, “So wait a minute you guys have been holding out on that story all because y'all had to run thought the streets naked? Well I guess I can see why. So I guess if we keep the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Life safe, then we save the world.”

They all turned to Michel and asked, “How do we stop the plot hole?” Michel then started a very long and complicated mime which caused Tom, Jorge, Mrs. Chau, Stingray, and Mustard to take out note pads and start trying to guess through charades what he was saying. All around them things were starting to get very strange.

Meanwhile RJ, Jimbob, Skycam, Guy Taylor, and Owens loaded up into Latisha. There was a fight over who could drive. Finally Latisha herself picked out Guy Taylor to drive.

Owens was on the phone with Savage, “I think we are on High street... where are you guys?”

Taylor had to swerve quickly due to a large chocolate bunny materializing in front of them, “Hey! Now wait... how does a giant bunny fit into the plot hole?”

Savage answered back, “We are on St. Mary’s Street. I guess we'll just pull off and…”

Owens phone died during Savage's words. Suddenly two great clawed hands burst through the driver's and passenger side windows. The hands pulled up and off came a piece of Latisha’s roof. There snarling through the roof hole was a Male Mikeahobo. RJ, Jimbob, and Skycam all screamed. As RJ was getting up to try and fight off the beast Taylor slammed on the breaks sending it crashing over the hood into a ravine that suddenly appeared.

“That was convenient,” said Owens.

Taylor backed up Latisha and said, “Lets try and go around the ravine. There’s got to be a way.”

At that a ramp appeared in front of the ravine.

Owens said, “I know what your thinking and that could just be a ploy to get us to ju…”

At that moment Guy Taylor and Jimbob magically swapped places and Jimbob gunned the gas. Latisha screamed down the road headed straight for the ramp. Jimbob started hysterically laughing as they hit the ramp and launched in the air. RJ looked down and saw that the ravine was getting larger.

RJ said, “Hey! The hole is getting bigger, go faster Jimbob!”

Suddenly Latisha’s roof fixed itself and sprouted two wings with jets on them. Latisha blasted off. Midway over the ravine it changed directions and shot straight up. Savage, Bryars, and the members of Trees and Arizona Heart watched as a Latisha rocketed towards the sky.

“Well what do you guys wanna do now?” asked Bryars. Savage looked around and watched as buildings started moving into the road, seemingly with the intent of blocking their way. Then when he looked back he saw a large crowd of villagers complete with pitch forks and torches.

They shouted out, “THAT’S THEM, THEIR THE REASON WHY OUR TOWNS GOING CRAZY!”

When they looked back to try to escape they saw that they were in a dead end alley. They were getting ready to fight just as Rebel Bob and Cue showed up.

“Rebel Bob!” shouted Rebel Bob, and, “Cue!” shouted Cue. Rebel Bob and Cue quickly started to fight off the crowd showing off super heroic skills never seen before.

JTR, Girl Taylor, Save the Silence, and Inge were watching as old timey flying saucers were attacking Parliament. JTR almost ran off to fight the saucers when he remembered what was going on. Fox and Alora were running around trying to play tag and Girl Taylor couldn’t make sense out of anything.

She turned to the members of Save the Silence and asked, “Ok do you guys know how to stop this?”

The members shook their heads, “No.” Then they wrote on a piece of paper that they needed Michel to stop the plot hole because he knew more of the exact plan.

JTR then ran up and said, “Ok so what we need to do is find Michel right? That can’t be too hard.”

As he said this a large Grisly Bear appeared and started running at them. JTR got ready to run but just as he did Steve Bosto came running around another corner and started punching the bear.

JTR turned to Save the Silence and said, “Ok so you guys need Michel to help close up the plot hole, right? I think Dad said he was in-between Newcastle and Edinburgh, so I think we should try to use the plot hole to our favor. I mean, sure the bear was bad but Bosto showing up, that was good. So maybe if we put certain things in motion that leads to Michel being here then, due to the Plot Hole it will happen.”

As he was saying this he heard a, “Gimme your face!” and Bosto stunned the bear leaving it sprawled out on the road.

“See what I mean,” said JTR, “So come on we have stuff to take care of,” he called Tom and said, “Hey Dad you’ve got Michel with you, right? Can you get him to London as fast as possible.”

Tom said, “Ok we will try our best.”

As he hung up the phone JTR said, “I’m kind of thirsty you guys have any water?” Just then his phone rang…

At that moment, in Edinburgh, a large shadow appeared over Rebel Bob, Cue, and the angry crowd.

Rebel Bob called out, “Cue its time to leave,” and they promptly leapt out of the way of Latisha as it came crashing down on top of the angry villagers.

“Hey we found you guys!” said RJ as he exited the new bus door on Latisha, “Does your phone work?”

Cue brought out his and handed it to RJ. RJ dialed up JTR.

It rang a few times then Girl Taylor answered, “Hello?”

RJ asked, “Where’s JTR?”

Girl Taylor then said, “I’m not sure how... but JTR just turned into a bottle of water.”

RJ was a bit perplexed by this and asked, “So what’s he want us to do?”

Girl Taylor pondered RJ’s question for a few moments. She glanced down at the bottle of water that JTR had become. Things were getting out of control.

“What does he want us to do?” RJ repeated.

Girl Taylor thought for a second longer and then hung up the phone.

“Hello?” said RJ, “Hello? I guess she hung up.”

“Well, call her back!” yelled Owens.

“Okay,” said RJ as he began to dial. But before he could hit the third number the phone suddenly turned into a lizard.

“AAAHHHH!” screamed RJ as he flung the lizard into the sky.

“What!?” said Owens.

“The phone just turned into a lizard!” responded RJ.

“MY PHONE!” yelled Cue as he gave chase to the lizard, “Rebel Bob, Help Me!”

Rebel Bob took off after Cue and the lizard.

Girl Taylor stood there looking down at the phone in her hands and wondering what to do. JTR was a bottle of water. The plan had been to reunite team Save the Silence with their leader in hopes that they could stop the Plot Hole. It had sounded to her like JTR was beginning to understand how the Plot Hole worked. However, she had no clue what to do and JTR was incapacitated at the moment.

“Well, what now?” said Guy Taylor.

“I got an idea,” answered Skycam, “Maybe if we all close our eyes and wish really hard it’ll all be better.”

“Good idea,” said RJ and Jimbob.

Everyone but Owens closed their eyes and started wishing. Owens rolled his eyes, sighed, and then closed his eyes. When they opened their eyes Peter Pan was standing before them.

Guy Taylor began to laugh, “I’ve lost my marbles.”

At this comment Jimbob started laughing and yelled out, “It’s Snowing!”

With that comment it actually started snowing.

“I guess it’s doing what we’re wishing it to do,” said Owens, “Who thought of Peter Pan.”

Skycam blushed and smiled, “That was me.”

“And Jimbob brought the snow…” continued Owens.

Suddenly the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man came stomping down the street. Owens scanned the faces of his fellow racers.

“I couldn't help it. It just popped in there,” said RJ.

Meanwhile, Girl Taylor was standing in London trying to decide the best course of action. She reached down, picked up JTR, and put him in her coat pocket.

“I got an idea,” said Jimbob, “We should just think about Girl Taylor and JTR being here and they will be.”

Owens paused then said, “Leave it to Jimbob to come up with the simple answer.”

Girl Taylor noticed the sky suddenly starting to turn dark. All the lights began to go out. Before she knew it she was standing in pitch black. When the lights came back and the sky turned the right color, Taylor was standing in the back of Latisha looking down at the box. She peeked in and saw a small swirling cloud in the bottom of the box. She looked outside and a giant swirling vortex was in the sky. She discerned that she was now in Edinburgh.

She turned back toward the box in udder confusion and frustration. She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out JTR… the water bottle.

“Okay,” she said to herself, “Think like John… think like John…”

She didn’t have to think long before an idea… if not an unorthodox idea… came to her. JTR had turned into something else but it was still him. Theoretically, even though he couldn’t convey anything, everything that made him JTR was still there only reduced to a simple… elemental form.

RJ looked over at Latisha and happened to see Girl Taylor standing in the back.

“Hey, It’s Girl Taylor,” he said. No one else heard him as they had become intensely interested in the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. RJ made his way toward Latisha.

Girl Taylor wondered if JTR’s current form would mix with the small Plot Hole in the box. The small one seemed to be tied to the big one. If she mixed the two it would almost be like fusing JTR and the Plot Hole into one thing. Perhaps the JTR side of the mixture could control the destructive part of the Plot Hole. On the other hand… it could make JTR’s mind ammunition fueling the Plot Hole.

“Think like John,” she whispered to herself again, “Here goes nothing…”

RJ stepped onto Latisha just as Girl Taylor was pouring the bottle of water a.k.a. JTR into the box.

“NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled RJ. But it was too late. The water that was JTR hit the miniature Plot Hole and evaporated into a white cloud that briefly conflicted with the Plot Hole then suddenly joined with it.

At that everything went dark again. The sky turned black and all the lights went out and no one could see anything.

After a moment the world was bright again. It took Taylor’s eyes a minute to adjust. She looked around and realized she was back in front of Buckingham Palace. She glanced right and saw RJ, Jimbob, Owens, Skycam, and Guy Taylor. As a matter of fact, everyone was there. Girl Taylor, RJ, Jimbob, Owens, Skycam, Guy Taylor, Ms. Chau, Tom, Jorge, Stingray, Michel and the rest of team Silence, Mustard, Charles, Cason, Anson, Goodyn, Larry Semon, Rebel Bob, Cue, Jerry Adonis, Amos, Oaky and the rest of team Save the Trees, Brian Hassett and the rest of Arizona Heart, Kim Jones, Inge, George Bush, Colin Ferrell, Alora, Fox, Lilly Allen, the London Metropolitan Police, the race officials, Scott Bakula, Dean Stockwell, Steve Bosto, Peter Pan, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man were all crowded into the street in front of Buckingham Palace.

“What… the hell… is going on?” asked a shaken Jerry Adonis.

Girl Taylor glanced in the direction they had seen the Plot Hole earlier. It was still there but it looked calmer than before.

“Is that the box?” asked Ms. Chau.

Everyone looked where she was pointing. Sitting on the ground was the box the Plot Hole had been in. It was shaking and rattling rather violently.

“What’s it doing?” whispered George Bush.

“What?” said RJ, “Speak up!”

“I said, what is it doing!?” replied George Bush.

“Oh!”

Girl Taylor stepped toward the box. Jorge reached out to stop her but she yanked free.

“What now,” Girl Taylor whispered to herself, “Did it work?”

As they all stood there in front of Buckingham Palace, a silence fell over them. A silence that penetrated their hearts. Girl Taylor stood in front of the box as it shook. Everyone stared towards the box. Many of them didn't seem to be aware of anything they just stared, all hope gone.

RJ took a half a step forward. Jorge shifted. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man leaned against a nearby building. Steve Bosto took off his hat. The box jerked and jumped then slowly something began to rise out of the box. It started to come out faster.

"A rainbow," whispered Charles. A few smiles and cheers began to break out in the crowd.

Girl Taylor along with Jorge, RJ, Charles, Michel and the rest of team silence, Jerry Adonis, Oaky, Kim Jones, and even Cason remained calm and stared up at the rainbow as it arched over their heads.

As the rainbow began to strech out of sight the cheers got louder. A look of concentration mixed with concern deepened in the faces of those not celebrating. Cason sat down and put her hands over her head. She rocked back and fourth.

Something green hit the ground near Girl Taylor. Girl Taylor searched the ground for whatever it was, and upon finding it she took a couple of steps and picked it up. Jorge stepped up behind her. Girl Taylor slowly turned around. Jorge looked down at what she held in her hand. It was a small green candy with an S on it. RJ glanced over Jorge's shoulder.

At that moment many skittles began pouring from the sky. The celebration stopped abrubtly as people screamed and scattered. Only a few remained where they stood as panic broke out. Kim Jones reached out and grabbed Tom and Mustard before they could run by. Anson and Goodyn nervously but loyaly stood behind Charles. Brian Hassett and Inge also stopped on their way by Girl Taylor and the others.

Girl Taylor stared at her feet with the skittle still in her hand. A tear ran down her cheek.

She looked up at Jorge, "I- I-," she paused and took a breath, "I just wanted to think like JTR, but I ruined everything and killed JTR!"

She began to weep. Just then Fox and Alora ran up and wrapped their arms around Girl Taylor. They were terrified. Girl Taylor quickly wiped her eyes and began comforting the children.

Inge looked around nervously then silently slid away from the group. Everyone had scattered to the winds.

All that remained now was Girl Taylor, Alora, Fox, Jorge, RJ, Tom, Mustard, Charles, Anson, Goodyn, Michel and the rest of team silence, Jerry Adonis, Oaky, Kim Jones, Cason, and Brian Hassett.

"What do we do now?" shouted Tom so that he could be heard over the pounding of the skittles.

"What can we do now?" Girl Taylor shouted back at Tom, "JTR is gone and we don't know how to bring him back or get rid of this plot hole!"

"Boil, boil, toil, and trouble!" came a familiar voice. They all turned to see Jimbob in a witch's outfit stirring the inside of the box with a large wooden spoon.

"She is right," shouted Kim Jones, "the plot hole is effecting not only people but personalities now!"

Jimbob stood up and threw away the spoon and witch costume.

"No," he said, "that was really me. I keep a witch costume with me at all times just in case I have an opportunity to say that line!" Jimbob held out his hand and a fishing pole appeared. He held out his other hand and a three legged stool appeared. He walked back over to the box, sat on the stool, and began fishing in the box.

Charles shook his head, "We have to do something!"

The skittles stopped falling from the sky, but clouds began hovering down close to the ground and the sun began running away and returing with scoops of raisins to dump on everything. Red lights never turned green and other crazy things began happening all around them.

"I agree with Charles... cause... cause, he is a... a genius!" Cason stumbled towards them, "We must defeat this... this great EVIL!" she said through a mouthful of skittles.

RJ leaned over to Kim Jones, "She was drugged and now she has a bad case of the crazies. At least that is what they tell me. She doesn't seem that different to me."

Cason began climbing the steps that led up to a stage that had appeared.

She shouted into the microphone, "JTR has been swallowed by the plot hole, and I believe that given time he will take care of the problem himself! I am not the only one that believes that either! We are all loyal to him and believe in him more than anyone else!"

"Amen!" yelled Jimbob.

Cason continued, "We are his friends and he believes in us just as much as we believe in him! I don't know about you guys but I'm going to keep on fighting until the very end! For JTR, for ourselves , and for the world!"

Cason climbed on top of the podium that sood in front of her and made a tremendous leap off the stage. She landed on a low flying cloud. She reached down and grabbed what looked like reigns and drove the cloud up, up, and up until she was engulfed in the giant plot hole in the sky.

"That was wierd," whispered Brian Hassett to Tom.

"Save the tree, save the world," said Jorge suddenly.

Michel smiled and nodded at him.

"Can anyone guess what that means?" asked Jorge.

Mustard squeeked loudly. Confused everyone turned their eyes to Tom and Mustard. A Chocolate volcano had sprung up and was coating the land with chocolate. Fortunately umbrellas began sprouting up around them so they held the umbrellas to make a make-shift tent so that Mustard could tell them the news.

"How are we gonna understand him?" asked Jerry Adonis.

"Don't worry," said Tom, "I can translate, I speek Chipmunk."

Mustard squeeked into Tom's ear, "Has anyone ever heard of Johnny Appleseed?"

Anson raised his hand, but lowered it again because no one else had raised their hands.

"Well, Johnny Appleseed wasn't just some crazy guy that wondered the land and planted apple trees. His goal was to protect Eden from the Plot Hole, because he knew one day it would be released. He planted apple trees everywhere so that they would be everywhere when the plot hole was unleashed. The key to locking the plot hole back in it's box is by puting into it an apple. Once the apple is put into the plot hole then transported to it's center then it will be tossed back into the box just as Adam and Eve were tossed out of Eden."

"Transported to the center?" asked Girl Taylor.

"Yes," replied Tom, "and that is where JTR comes in. Apple trees are protected so the plot hole cannot effect them, once we get the apple in there it is up to him to save us all." There was a long pause.

"Well what are we waiting for?" yelled Kim Jones, "Let's find some apples!" They all ran out in different directions happier than they had been in a long time.

Jimbob still sat next to the box fishing. He had a huge pile of stuff he had pulled out of it, including the bottle that JTR had once been in.

Girl Taylor, Alora, and Fox stayed near the box and waited for everyone to return with apples. They returned in no time. Everyone had at least one apple and as they arrived at the box they threw their's in.

Charles, Anson, and Goodyn came back last because Charles made both Anson and Goodyn take off their pants and tie up the legs so that they could carry back many apples. They could do nothing but wait as the world erupted in chaos around them.

JTR began to wake up. He couldn’t remember much. Last he knew he had been in London with Girl Taylor wondering how they were going to stop the plot hole. He opened his eyes and stood up. He shook his head and glanced at his surroundings.

JTR was standing in a beautiful garden. As a matter of fact it was one of the most beautiful gardens he had ever seen. From what he could see the garden was surrounded by a white picked fence. JTR began to explore the garden when he came upon a field covered with boxes. He walked to the nearest and read the words on the side. It read, “24 Hour Delay.”

JTR immediately recognized the box. It was the same one they had accidentally used in Australia. He looked around and wondered what other neat things he might find a box for. After searching a little while he found one that read, “Power of the Sun.” He grabbed it thinking it might be useful. Then he found another box that read, “Jimbob.” JTR found himself so intrigued that he had to take that box.

When he stood up from taking the “Jimbob” box he noticed he was no longer standing in a beautiful garden. He was now standing in a graveyard. An eerie feeling came over JTR just before a loud evil laugh rang out through the graveyard. JTR spun around to find his greatest enemy standing before him. The Mortar Creek Witch stood there cackling.

“Well, well, well,” said the Witch, “JTR… how the hell are you?”

JTR looked around, “Can’t complain… you?”

The Witch smirked, “Let me thank you for releasing the Plot Hole.”

“Um… Your welcome,” responded JTR, knowing it was Jimbob who actually released it.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this day to come,” continued the Witch, “The day I take control of the Plot Hole and finally kill you!”

The Witch leapt forward at JTR with her magic staff. JTR rolled back and slung the Witch over his head. The Witch hit and rolled back up attacking JTR again. She came at JTR with everything she had and JTR did his best to fight her off. The Witch pointed her magic staff at JTR and a blast of magic shot forth. JTR leapt aside and the resulting explosion sent him sprawling across the field. He landed next to a box that read, “Excalibur.”

“Well,” said JTR, “That’s convenient.” He reached into the box and pulled forth the magic sword. JTR rushed back at the Witch with his equalizer. The fight was a little less one sided now. But still the Witch was able to get the upper hand. She managed to knock Excalibur away from JTR.

JTR lay there on the ground looking up at his inevitable doom when suddenly something caught his eye. JTR rolled backwards as a giant stick came dropping out of the sky. It squished the Witch and began spinning around in circles.

Off in the distance JTR heard Jimbob’s voice saying, “Boil, boil, toil, and trouble!” With that the giant stick rose back into the sky from where it came. The Witch was gone.

“Oooooooo-kay?” said JTR. He turned around and the graveyard had turned back into the garden. JTR thought to himself that he needed to find a way out of where ever he was. He scanned the garden until his eyes fell on something interesting. It was a box much like the others… but this one was surrounded by a white picked fence just like the garden itself. JTR decided that that box must be important, so he headed over to it.

He had no sooner opened the gate when something rater large came flying out of a nearby tree. It hit JTR hard knocking him down in front of the box.

“JTR!” came Cason’s voice, “I’ve come to save you from the Plot Hole!”

JTR sat up, “Cason?”

“Yea,” she replied, “I am! Lets get outta here!”

At that apples started flying out of the tree Cason had just come out of. JTR and Cason were getting pelted with apples. The apples kept coming for a few more minutes before they finally stopped.

“Okay,” said JTR, “I’m getting tired of this stupid Plot Hole!” He threw open the box and looked down inside. There was nothing there.

“Maybe we have to do something with the apples,” suggested Cason.

“Okay,” said JTR, ready to accept anything, “but what?”

“You have to take the apple to the center of the Plot Hole,” came an unfamiliar voice. JTR and Cason spun around to see Lloyd Bridges standing there.

“That box is the center of the Plot Hole,” continued Lloyd Bridges, “Just throw an apple in.”

“Um… Okay,” responded a confused and rather amused JTR. He reached down and picked up an apple. He looked at Cason and Cason looked back at him. He held the apple over the box and dropped it in. Nothing happened. JTR and Cason turned around but Lloyd Bridges was gone.

“Now what?” whispered Cason.

“I don’t know,” whispered JTR.

Suddenly the ground started shaking vigorously. Without warning the head of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man squeezed through the box.

“Uh oh,” said JTR, “The Plot Hole is sucking everything back in! We gotta get outta here!”

At that moment the Marshmallow Man burst through the box and a tornado of craziness started storming in. Cason and JTR were knocked back by everything rushing through.

“We gotta get through the box!” yelled JTR.

“The other direction!?” questioned Cason.

“Yea!” responded JTR.

“How!??” yelled Cason. At that moment JTR noticed a fish hook dangling out of the box amongst all the things rushing back in.

“I got an idea!” yelled JTR, “Take my hand!”

Cason grabbed onto JTR as he made his way over too the hook. He grabbed a hold of the hook and tugged. It took seconds for the line to tighten. Cason and JTR were yanked through the box.

The world erupted in a brilliant white light then everything went dark. JTR opened his eyes. Jimbob was staring down at him.

"Hey where did my stuff go?" Jimbob looked around, "Oh, well at least I still have this cool bottle." Jimbob reached inside his pocket and pulled out clothes.

"Wait this isn't my bottle," Jimbob looked down at JTR again, "Maybe you should put these on."

JTR looked over at the group of people standing next to him as he was lying there naked.

JTR snatched his cloths away from Jimbob and hastily dressed himself. He tried to get up but fell down again. He had developed a huge headache and he passed out from the pain.

He woke up later in Latisha and stumbled out. He looked around and noticed everything seemed to be back to normal. Jorge, Tom, Mustard, RJ, Girl Taylor, and Jerry Adonis were standing over near the Victoria Memorial. JTR walked over to them.

“What happened?” asked JTR.

“Whatever you and Cason did… it worked,” said Jorge.

“Wait! Where’s Cason?” said JTR.

“Oh,” responded Tom, “She’s in Latisha sleeping off her high.”

“Oh,” said JTR with a sigh, “Good, it’s about time.” JTR paused for a second. He suddenly noticed the rest of the teams were nowhere around.

“Hey,” said JTR, “where are the rest of the teams?”

“They left already,” said Jorge.

“What!” JTR sprang into action, “We gotta go! We’re gonna fall behind!”

Girl Taylor grabbed JTR by the arm, “JTR… the way this race has gone so far, I think we can stand to lose a little ground on them.”

“Yea,” said RJ, “We just wanna be sure you and Cason are okay.”

“I’m fine,” said JTR, “a little hung-over but fine.”

“Good,” said Jorge, “Why don’t we rest a bit, eat lunch, then get going?”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Tom.

“Well, we’ve waited long enough,” said Jerry, “We’re gonna head out.”

Jerry headed over to a dark blue 1961 Austin Metropolitan Convertible with a burnt Cadillac Escalade grill bolted to the front where the rest of team 2XW was waiting. They got in and sped off.

“What was that all about,” asked JTR, “and where did they get that car.”

“You were out for a long time,” said Jorge, “The Plot Hole spit you out yesterday. Last night the Queen threw a spur of the moment ceremony for all of us for saving England and the world. We partied all night. You and Cason slept through it. The rest of the teams got up this morning and left. That was about an hour and a half ago. Jerry hung around to see if you were okay. The Queen gave them the car.”

“Neat,” said JTR after he paused to think about what had just happened.

Girl Taylor glanced over her shoulder. Guy Taylor had pulled the Microbus up.

“Hey Taylor!” said Kim Jones, “Let’s get going.”

“Okay,” said Taylor, “Hey JTR… I’m glad you’re okay. I guess we’ll see you later.”

“Alright,” said JTR as he watched team T&T leave.

“Yea,” continued Jorge, “The Plot Hole turned Corn back into a scarecrow but Cob isn’t Cob anymore.”

“Yea,” said JTR, “Cob looks like Cason’s sister Kim…”

“That’s ‘cause it is Cason’s sister, Kim,” added Tom.

As they sat there watching the white VW Microbus disappear down The Mall and turn right on Horse Guards Road a British soldier approached them.

“Excuse me,” said the soldier, “The Queen is requesting an audience with John Ray and Cason Jones.”

“Well,” said Tom, “Cason’s asleep at the moment.”

“Then wake her,” said the soldier, “Trust me… she doesn’t want to miss this.”

“Okay,” said Tom. He scampered over to Latisha and woke up Cason. Then the soldier led JTR, a woozy Cason, Tom, Mustard, Jorge, and RJ into Buckingham Palace.

Ms. Chau was standing next to the Victoria Memorial talking on the phone as the soldier ushered team Kittens into Buckingham Palace.

“Ms. Chau,” came George Lucas’ voice, “What’s going on over there?”

“It’s a long story sir,” she replied, “Simply put we’ve experienced some supernatural set backs.”

“I’ve been informed that a number of teams skipped the check point in Edinburgh,” said Lucas, “If that’s true we can get them all on a technicality!”

Ms. Chau paused in shock. She had known the plan was to make all the teams lose the race. But after all that had happened she felt closer to them. She even now wanted to see them win the race.

“Ms. Chau?” came Lucas’ voice through the phone, “Did the teams miss the Edinburgh check point?”

Ms. Chau paused a second longer before responding, “No sir… all the teams went through Edinburgh.”

“Damn!” said Lucas, “Oh well, we’ll get ‘em. This race isn’t over yet.”

“Right,” said Ms. Chau, “okay, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.” She hung up before he could respond.

The soldier lead team Kittens through the Grand Entrance into the Green drawing Room. He then took them down a long hallway and into the East Gallery.

“Mr. Ray and Ms. Jones please wait here,” said the soldier, “Jorge, RJ, and Tom come with me.”

“Can I bring Mustard in?” asked Tom.

The soldier glanced at Mustard and smiled, “I don’t see why not.”

The soldier led them into the next room leaving JTR and Cason alone in the East Gallery.

“What going on,” asked a very woozy but slightly more sober Cason.

“That’s a good question,” said JTR.

Meanwhile teams Sheriff’s Car, Arizona Heart, Save the Silence, and Save the Trees had been driving for about an hour and a half. They were going to get on the Eurostar in Kent, England near Folkestone. The Eurostar would take the teams through the Eurotunnel in Dover. The Eurotunnel would take the teams safely under the English Channel at the Straight of Dover.

Charles, Brian Hassett, Michel, and Oaky were standing in line to buy tickets. Charles couldn’t really figure out where they needed to go so he bought tickets from Folkestone to Brussels, Belgium. The other team members bought tickets for the same route thinking Charles knew what he was doing.

Once they arrived in Brussels it would be a little over a three hour drive to checkpoint 24 in Paris, France. Charles and his team were settling in on the train.

“I still can’t believe we left you in Berlin,” said Anson.

“I still can’t believe SOMEONE painted my truck pink!” said Charles.

Skycam giggled and blushed.

“She also ran it off a cliff,” added Jimbob.

“What!?” yelled Charles.

“What!?” yelled Jimbob as he ducked under a table, “I didn’t do it! Look out! AAAAHHHH!”

“See what we’ve been putting up with,” said Goodyn.

“It’s been like this ever since we left Berlin,” added Anson.

“Didn’t you guys give them the pills?” asked Charles.

Anson stared at Charles, “What pills?”

Charles sighed, “The pills in the glove box I’ve been slipping in their food to keep them calm.”

“Now you tell us,” said an aggravated Goodyn.

Charles laughed at them, “Well as soon as we get off this train we need to start slipping them pills again,” Charles stood up, “I gotta pee, here,” he handed Anson a string that was tied to his wrist, “If you feel this tighten up it means I fainted, so come get me.”

“Why would you faint?” asked Anson.

“I’ve got vasovagal syncope… so I faint when I pee,” said Charles before turning to go find a bathroom.

Charles found his way to a bathroom and walked in. He started to unzip his pants when something caught his eye.

“Who’s that!” he said spinning around in the small bathroom. A young woman was standing in the bathroom behind him.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m just a little lost…”

“Oh,” said Charles as he realized how beautiful she was, “Well, maybe I can help.”

“Oh, could you?” she said in a innocent voice, “you see I’m looking for a big strapping man… a hero, a man among men…” her voice suddenly became seductive, “his name is Charles Dubya.”

Charles swallowed the knot in his throat, “I’m Charles Dubya…”

“Oh,” she said, “Finally… I’ve found my man!” she stepped forward and ran her fingers through Charles’ hair, “I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything,” said Charles.

“I need to get to the Giza Necropolis… can you do that for me…” she whispered in his ear.

“Whatever you say,” Charles said back to her, “What’s your name, darlin’?”

“My name,” she whispered as she cut the string off his wrist, “My name is Inge.”

Inge kissed Charles and he became putty in her hands.

JTR and Cason had been waiting for a while when JTR said, “Hey! Where’d Inge go?”

“I don’t know,” said Cason, “I’ve been out as long as you have... longer actually.”

“Oh yea,” responded JTR.

At that moment the soldier reappeared and said, “Mr. Ray, Ms. Jones… please follow me.”

JTR and Cason did as instructed. They walked into the Ball Room of Buckingham Palace. They were surrounded by people amassed on the left and right sides of the room allowing a route to the far end of the Ball Room where the Queen stood waiting. The people were wearing elaborate vestments and accoutrements.

As they made their way toward the Queen JTR examined the robes the people were wearing. Almost everyone in the room was wearing a dark blue robe lined with white taffeta. Sewn onto the left shoulder of the mantle was the heraldic shield of St. George’s Cross encircled by a Garter, and attached to the right shoulder was a dark red velvet hood and surcoat. They were also wearing black velvet hats with a plume of white ostrich and black heron feathers. Over the mantle they wore a collar composed of gold knots alternating with enameled medallions showing a rose encircled by a garter. Suspended from their collars was a colorfully enameled three-dimensional figure of St. George on horseback slaying a dragon. JTR wondered if the collar was solid gold. They walked right up to the Queen where the soldier walked away.

The Queen began to speak, “John T. Ray… Cason Jones… it is rare that bravery as the two of you have show comes along. I am impressed by the way you charged into the dangerous unknown to preserve the sanctity of life.”

JTR and Cason glanced at each other knowing good and well that JTR had no choice in the mater when he went into the Plot Hole and Cason was drugged when she went in.

The Queen continued, “Such integrity should be rewarded. Here in England the pinnacle of honors is the Most Noble Order of the Garter. JTR,” JTR nervously looked up at her as she continued, “I understand you’re somewhat of a story-teller. I’ve got a story for you. The Countess of Salisbury once danced with King Edward at Eltham Palace. During the dance her garter slipped from her leg. When the courtiers sniggered, the king picked up the garter and tied it to his leg exclaiming, ‘Honi soit qui mal y pense!’” the Queen looked down at JTR and Cason, “Do either of you know what that means?”

JTR and Cason shook there heads and the Queen continued, “It means Shamed be the person who thinks evil of it. Now years later the Garter represents the greatest honor an Englishman can procure. John and Cason… today the two of you will join the Order of the Garter.” The Queen drew her sword. JTR and Cason kneeled at her feet.

RJ, Tom, and Jorge watched with the other order members as the Queen said, “John Ray and Cason Jones… as Sovereign of the Garter, I bestow upon you knighthood of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.”

JTR and Cason stood up and noticed the Prince of Wales approaching them with two golden badges depicting St. George on horseback slaying a dragon.

The Prince of Wales began to speak, “As Knight Companion of the Garter, I would like present you with the badge of the Order of the Garter, so that everyone will know of your honors.”

JTR and Cason took the badges. JTR turned his over and over. Encircling the image of St. George was a garter with the motto “Honi soit qui mal y pense” in gold lettering.

The Queen looked down at JTR and said, “Shame upon him who thinks evil of it.”

JTR smiled and responded, “Accursed be a cowardly and covetous heart.”

The Queen smiled, “Indeed…” the room erupted in applause but the Queen calmed them, “I know this ceremony has been somewhat unorthodox as it relates to the Order, but it’s not without good reason. Our newest members and their friends are in the middle of a world wide race,” the Queen spoke directly to JTR and Cason, “We do not mean to keep you from your competition. Our intelligence tells us the four leading teams boarded the Eurostar to Brussels, Belgium a few minutes ago. They must not realize the Eurostar will go directly from London to Paris,” all of team Kittens felt a spark of excitement as the Queen continued, “We’ve taken your vehicle to the station and made arrangements for your team to board here, but you’ve got to hurry the train leaves in thirty minutes.”

“Crap!” yelled RJ, “We better go!”

RJ, Jorge, Tom, Mustard, and Cason turned and ran for the door.

JTR glanced back at the Queen, “Thanks for everything.”

“No,” she said, “Thank you.”

JTR couldn’t help himself. He ran back and gave the Queen a huge hug. The Queen tensed up for a moment but then relaxed and hugged him back. JTR then ran to catch up with the rest of his team as they sprinted to the awaiting police escort that took them to board the Eurostar.

Charles and Inge came staggering out of the bathroom. Charles had never felt manlier in his life. He proudly strutted back to where Anson and Goodyn were sitting.

“Hey,” said Anson, “Inge! What are you doing here?”

Charles was confused, “You know her?”

“Yea,” said Anson, “She was traveling with Cason an ‘em.”

“Yes,” added Inge, “I was traveling with them… until I decided to come find you guys.”

Anson and Goodyn exchanged a worried glance. Inge was scanning the room looking for Jimbob.

“Well,” said Charles, “I guess that means we can skip the introductions.”

“Why exactly were you traveling with them?” asked Goodyn.

Inge timidly answered, “The truth is I… uh… I wanted to… uh…” she thought for a moment trying to come up with a good lie, “I wanted to go to the Giza Necropolis and they weren’t going that way. Charles tells me you guys are. Isn’t that right?”

“That’s right,” answered Charles, “and I’ve just remembered I have to pee. If I’m not back in five minutes I’ve fainted so come get me.”

Inge went and sat next to Skycam who exclaimed, “I remember you!”

Anson and Goodyn turned away from Inge and Skycam.

“Why wouldn’t team Kittens be going near Giza?” whispered Anson, “Cairo is on the race coarse isn’t it… and Giza is just right there.”

“I know,” said Goodyn, “It doesn’t make since. Maybe we should keep an eye on her.”

“What are you thinking?” asked Anson.

“I don’t know,” responded Goodyn, “but something’s not right. We’ll just watch her and see what happens.”

“Okay,” said Anson, “Hey… how long has Charles been gone?”

“Crap… you better go check on him.”

“Me!?”

“Yes you,” said Goodyn with a smirk.

“Fine,” groaned Anson as he got up to go find Charles.

The train carrying teams Arizona heart, Save the Tree, and Sheriff's car slowly made its way to Belgium. Along the way Anson and Goodyn kept a close eye on Inge. Skycam and Jimbob had spent the last few hours running down the rows of the train annoying people.

Charles woke up from his fainted state and asked Inge, “Hey what’s in Giza anyway?”

She giggled and said, “The pyramids silly.”

“Oh, I knew that,” said Charles.

Inge then said, “We have had a long day I suggest we get some sleep.”

Team save the kittens had a full escort all the way to the train station. They boarded the train and awaited departure. Along the way RJ had to be sedated because he got very nervous when he was riding underground. JTR and Cason asked Tom and Jorge what had gone on during the plot hole and what happened while Cason was high. Tom and Jorge told the story, while adding in some false details to liven up the story a bit. They passed the time away simply by doing that. Finally they arrived in Paris.

Team 2XW and T&T had managed to make it to a train headed to Belgium in the nick of time. So they were on the same train as Charles and the rest of the teams. When the train arrived in Belgium they asked the attendants which way Paris was. When the man told them they could have taken a train directly to Paris they sped off as fast as possible. Finally teams Sheriff’s Car, Save the Trees, 2XW, T&T, and Arizona Heart pulled into Paris.

Sadly for them Team Kittens had left more than 7 hours ago, and had a great head start.

“You know RJ, even I have to admit you handled that French guy pretty well when we got lost,” said Cason, “I didn’t even know you could speak French.”

RJ replied, “Well I don’t normally use it and it normally only comes out when I need it, Canada is part French.”

Cason then punched him in the arm and yelled, “Only pansies speak French!”

Jorge chimed in, “Yeah ya stinking pansy.” Then they saw a sigh saying they had entered Spain.

JTR turned around and said, “Hey we were in Paris and we didn’t even bother to see any of the sights. You guys think we should've?”

They all replied back, “NO!”

“I was just asking, hey does any body speak Spanish?” Cason, RJ and Tom all looked at Jorge who said, “What?”

Teams Sheriff’s Car, Save the Trees, 2XW, T&T, and Arizona Heart pulled into the check in station in Paris and discovered that Team Kittens had left over 7 hours ago. Not wanting to fall too far behind they all fueled up, ate a bite, swapped out their drivers, and hit the road.

Meanwhile team Kittens had come up on some serious road work being done. Inconveniently they had to drive over two hours west out of their way. They rolled into a little town in Cantabria, Spain called Santillana del Mar. Team Kittens was agitated and a bit hungry. So they stopped for dinner.

“Man,” said Tom as he stepped out of Latisha, “This is a really neat old town. It’s kinda got that old west feel to it.”

“Yea,” said JTR, “Awsome.”

They walked into the nearest eatery and sat down.

The waiter walked over and said, “¿Uedopay omartay oyay usay rdenoay?”

“What’d he say, Jorge?” asked RJ.

Jorge cut his eyes at RJ, “I told you guys I don’t speak Spanish! I’m Mexibrookian!”

“Doesn’t matter,” said JTR, “This guy isn’t speakin’ Spanish anyway.”

“Sounded like Spanish to me,” said Jorge.

“Ha!” said RJ, “You do speak Spanish!”

“Just ‘cause I know how Spanish sounds doesn’t mean I can speak it!” responded Jorge.

“¿Uedopay omartay oyay usay rdenoay?” repeated the waiter sounding a little agitated.

“What is he speaking?” asked Cason.

“I don’t know,” said JTR. He turned to the waiter and spoke, “Yo no entiendo.”

“This whole time you spoke Spanish!?” yelled RJ.

“¿Uéqay?” said the waiter even more agitated.

“That sounds so familiar but I don’t know…” said JTR.

“¡Rdenoay o Alesay!” said the angry waiter as he pointed at the door.

“Okay, okay,” said JTR, “We’re leaving… geez.”

“Man, what an ass,” said Jorge, “We’ve been driving since seven this morning. I’m hungry!”

“It’s alright,” said Cason as they walked out the door, “It’s about nine p.m. now. We can… aw crap!”

“What?” asked Tom as he stepped through the door.

“Latisha’s asleep,” said Cason. They all looked at Latisha. The vehicle didn’t look any different. It was still sitting there like a yellow stretch hummer with a white roof should.

“Cars… don’t… sleep. Do they?” asked a timid RJ.

“Latisha does,” responded Cason.

“She doesn’t look any different,” said Tom.

“She’s not any different,” said Jorge.

“Except that she’s asleep,” added Cason.

“Whatever,” said Jorge as he headed for Latisha. JTR followed. They got in and Jorge sat in the driver’s seat. He turned the key. Latisha sputtered for a few seconds but wouldn’t turn on.

“She’s taking a nap,” said Cason.

“Cars don’t take naps,” said Jorge.

He turned the key again but nothing.

JTR looked at the fuel gage, “She’s got a full tank.”

“Well,” said Jorge, “That’s weird.”

“No it’s not,” interjected Cason, “She’s asleep.”

“And a car being asleep is less weird than a car with a full tank not starting!?” yelled Jorge.

“Yes,” said Cason.

Jorge started to sigh but before he could get it out Latisha suddenly tipped over on her side. JTR and Jorge got slammed up against the inner wall.

“What the hell!?” yelled JTR.

Latisha then finished rolling over upside down and JTR & Jorge slammed against the roof.

Cason leaned over to RJ and whispered, “She likes to sleep lying on her back.”

JTR and Jorge crawled out of Latisha feeling a little dizzy.

“What just happened?” asked JTR.

“I told you,” said Cason, “She’s taking a nap. She likes to sleep on her back.”

“Is there any way to wake her up?” asked JTR.

“No,” said Cason, “It’s best to just let her sleep.”

“Well,” said JTR, “I guess we should just go back inside and try to communicate with that waiter.”

JTR walked back inside followed by Cason, Tom, and RJ. Jorge stood there for three minutes stroking his chin and staring at Latisha.

“A car,” he said to himself, “that takes naps… A car… that takes… naps?”

Team Kittens managed to use pictures and a series of signs to tell the waiter what they wanted. They finally got their food.

Team Sheriff’s Car and team 2XW were at the forefront of the other teams. Charles was at the helm of the Deluxe and Bryars was driving Metropolitan Convertible. Seeing as they were locked in a deadly speeding death match, the two lead teams were setting the pace for the other teams. Charles was obsessed with both catching team kittens and with doing it before team 2XW did. They had all left Paris at about 9p.m. the same time Team Kittens had rolled into Santillana del Mar.

While Team Kittens waited impatiently for Latisha to wake up, the other teams sped down the dark Spanish highways. Around 4:18 in the morning they came up on the same detours that Team Kittens had come to earlier. Charles and Bryars were so content on racing that they completely missed the detour signs. They ran right off the end of a bridge under construction and found themselves stuck in a creek.

Brian Hassett slammed on the brakes and the 4Runner came screeching to a halt right at the edge of the bridge. The MultiCAT came sliding to a silent halt right behind them, next the Microbus, and finally the Box Car came squealing to a stop. Brian, Oaky, Michel, and Guy Taylor all turned and saw the detour signs. They backed up and turned down the new road as Teams Sheriff’s Car and 2XW began to pull their cars out of the creek.

Brian Hassett and Team Arizona Heart led the pack for about an hour and a half until Teams Sheriff’s Car and 2XW caught up. At about 6a.m. the six trailing teams pulled into Santillana del Mar. Being late as it was the rest of their team members were all soundly asleep. Only the drivers were awake.

Charles barreled down the main street and came across a disturbing sight. He saw Latisha turned upside down in the middle of the road. He slammed on the brakes and stepped out of the vehicle. Brian Hassett, Kim Jones, Oaky, Michel, and Jerry Adonis joined him.

“What the hell happened here?” asked Jerry to no one in particular.

“I don’t know,” replied Kim Jones. She scanned the surrounding area, “there’s no skid marks… no damage to the car…” Kim walked over to the curb of the street.

“What are you doing?” asked Brian.

“Looking for paint transfer,” replied Kim, “Or anything that would suggest a wreck.”

“What? Are you some kind of detective?” asked Jerry.

Kim looked back at Jerry, “I’m a forensic scientist.”

“Ah,” said Charles, “One of you lab geeks. Look it don’t take no rocket scientist to tell ya this car got in a wreck.”

Kim wasn’t listening to Charles, “Hey anyone else notice there aren’t any other cars around here at all?”

They looked around. Sure enough there weren’t any cars on the road.

“That’s weird,” said Jerry.

“Hey! Jerry!” came a familiar voice.

They all turned around to see JTR coming at them from a hotel. He was followed by Cason and Jorge.

“Oh, JTR,” said Jerry, “What the hell happened here?”

“Ah,” said JTR, “I assume you mean why is Latisha upside down?”

“Yea,” responded Jerry.

“Well,” JTR glanced back at Cason, “because she likes to sleep on her back.”

“What…” said Kim in an agitated older sister voice, “you rolled your car over because it wants to sleep on it’s back?”

Cason grimaced, “No… she rolled over on her on.”

Kim Jones rubbed her forehead like she had a headache. Brian and Michel looked very confused. Jerry and Oaky seemed rather amused at the idea.

“Hmm,” said Charles as he looked Latisha over, “Yea… yea… that seems about right.”

With a heavy sigh Kim Jones asked, “Cason… darlin’… where is the rest of your team?”

Cason, sensing her older sister’s disapproval, said, “They’re asleep in the hotel. Jorge and I woke up early to address the Latisha situation and I accidentally stepped on JTR on the way out of the room.”

JTR was in the middle of a huge yawn, “What happened?”

Jorge said to JTR, “Nothing, nothing… just stay out of it.”

“Cason,” said Kim with a hand on her hip, “I can’t believe you would negligently…”

“Shh!” said Brian Hassett cutting Kim off, “Do you guys hear that?”

They all listened very closely and heard what sounded like hoof beats coming toward them. They all walked around Latisha and peered down the dark streets. They saw a man on horseback coming toward them. As he got closer they noticed he was nicely dressed. Around his waste was a gun belt and at his hips sat shiny six-guns. He came to a halt just a few feet from them and they then noticed the bright star pinned on his vest that read, “Lguacilaay.”

“What’s an Lguacilaay?” asked Cason.

“I don’t know,” said JTR.

Finally the man spoke, “¿Ablahay steduay Imbobweanjay o Spañoleay o Nglésiay?”

“Um,” said JTR, “Yo no hablo su idioma. Hablo inglés.”

“You speak English,” said the man, “Okay… I’m Sheriff Wide Urkel.”

“Oh,” said Charles, “Well I’m Sheriff Charles Dubya!”

“How nice,” said Sheriff Urkel, “Here’s the deal. We’re simple folk around here. We don’t believe in these modern conveniences like cars. I want them out of my town by sunrise.”

JTR looked at his watch, “When does the sun rise around here?”

“Sun comes up at around 7:50,” said Sheriff Urkel.

“That gives us about two hours,” said JTR, “Look, I’m sorry if we’ve offended you in some way.”

Sheriff Urkel gazed down at JTR with eyes that penetrated his soul, “No harm done… if you can be out of here by sunrise.” Sheriff Urkel turned his horse around and rode away.

“Well,” said JTR, “I guess we better be on our way then.”

They all turned around and walked around Latisha where the other team’s cars were. Much to their horror the other cars had been influenced by Latisha and rolled over asleep.

“What,” said Kim Jones, “What happened to our cars?”

“Well obviously,” said Jorge, “They’ve gone to sleep.”

Cason shot a triumphant smile in her sister’s direction, “Ironic isn’t it.”

“Car’s don’t sleep,” said Kim.

“Right,” said Cason, “and penguins don’t fly.”

“Penguins don’t fly,” said Brian Hassett.

“Yea,” said JTR, “If you believe the text books,” everyone looked at JTR, “Anyway, now we’re all faced with a similar problem.”

“Yea,” said Jerry, “Did anyone stop to think our team mates are still in those vehicles?”

“No they’re not,” said Jorge, “Our team mates are asleep in the hotel.”

“OUR team mates,” said Jerry, “not yours!”

Luckily enough no one was hurt. The cars were asleep and the other racers were soundly asleep inside the cars. After some deliberating JTR, Cason, Jorge, Kim, Jerry, Charles, Brian, Oaky, and Michel decided to step inside a near by breakfast restaurant for a bite to eat. They never did convince Kim or Brian that their vehicles were asleep. They wasted about thirty minutes eating and discussing how to wake up vehicles. As they walked back out onto the street they were met with a strange sight. All of their vehicles were gone. Their team mates lay asleep in the middle of the street.

JTR giggled a little, “How nice of the car thieves to leave our friends and not wake them either.”

The humor JTR found in the situation was lost on everyone but Charles. They decided it was probably a good idea to get their team mates off the street and then report the thefts to Sheriff Urkel. Brian, Oaky, Michel, and Jerry began moving their team mates into the nearby hotel. JTR, Jorge, Cason, Kim, and Charles went to find Sheriff Urkel. When they found him he directed them to a crazy lady on the outskirts of town.

“I don’t see how some crazy lady is gonna help us find our vehicles,” said Jorge.

“Me neither,” said JTR, “But let’s give her the benefit of the doubt.”

When they found the lady they discovered that she spoke the same weird language that the rest of the town spoke. Through a series of drawings and hand signals they were able to tell her that they needed to find their cars and the Sheriff had said she could help them.

The old crazy lady then took them back to the center of town where the crime had occurred. By this time Jerry and the others had gotten all the other team mates off the street.

“Okay,” said Jorge, “let’s see what great plan this crazy lady has for finding our vehicles.”

“Yea,” said JTR, “What ever her plan is she better hurry. It’s about forty five minutes till sunrise.”

They watched as the old lady scanned the ground looking for something. Finally she found some tire tracks… and began to follow them. Jorge let out a deep sigh. JTR hung his head. Cason, Charles, and Kim followed the lady.

“Follow the tire tracks,” said Jorge, “We could’ve done that ourselves.”

JTR and Jorge followed as well. The tracks led them far out of town into the desert. Suddenly the tracks stopped very abruptly.

“What now?” said Cason.

“That’s weird,” said Kim, “The tracks just disappear.”

“Onay ásmay estigiosvay,” said the crazy lady.

“Unless you just said you found our vehicles you better shut up and get to steppin’,” said an agitated Jorge.

The crazy lady laughed a deep and evil laugh and then walked away.

“Well,” said Charles, “What now?”

"Why do they always take Latisha!?!" Cason sat down very abruptly. She rested her elbows on her knees and sat with her face in her hands. Kim looked down at her.

Meanwhile Jorge began to search the area where the tracks stopped. He was closely followed and watched by JTR and Charles.

Kim reached out with her foot and kicked Cason lighly, "It is just a stupid car, get over it."

At that Cason jumped up. Before Kim knew what was happening Cason had hit her with an increadable force. Kim doubled over holding her stomach.

"You have been on my case all day, and I can handle that because you are my sister. But you know what other special privleges you get when you are my sister?"

Kim suddenly lunged forward at Cason, sending them both sprawling into the dirt. Kim found her feet first and kicked Cason hard in the ribs. Cason gasped and held her side.

Kim smiled and replied, "What is that? I have to listen to you whine all the time?"

Cason kicked out her foot catching Kim in the back of the knees. Kim fell like a rock onto her butt.

As Cason scrabled to hit her again she managed to say, "No... I can kick your ass when you make me angry and I know you'll have to forgive me eventually!"

"Maybe there was a helicopter waiting here to pick up our cars and fly away," suggested JTR as Jorge examined the ground.

"All of our cars wouldn't fit," replied Jorge without looking up.

"I've got it!" shouted Charles. JTR and Jorge looked at him.

Charles grinned, "I've got one word for ya'... ALIENS!"

JTR and Jorge both rolled their eyes and looked back down at what they were doing.

"What? It's possible!"

Cason and Kim rolled around on the ground punching, kicking, and if necessary biting. They also let out an interesting string of profanities as Kim punched Cason in the temple and thrust her knee into Cason's stomach. Then Cason answered with a kick to the shin and a punch that made blood drip from Kim's lip. They were kicking up quite a lot of dust.

Back in town Anson and Goodyn had successfully gathered all the race teams out by the road.

"Um, Okay guys," said Anson nervously, "come with me, I- I uh, well, there is- uh, just follow me."

Anson and Goodyn lead the large group across the road and out into the desset towards a circle of rocks. When they finnaly arrived there was a younge girl of about 19 waiting there.

"Um, have a seat." said Anson to the group. He went over to the girl, "We got everyone but Inge. She must be hiding, I don't trust her."

She nodded then cleared her throat, "My name is Lily. You all should hide before the sun comes up or you will be killed." Everyone was silent.

"What?" yelled Jerry.

Cason who now had a knot swelling on her temple, a bloody nose, and countless cuts and bruises, was sitting on Kim's chest punching wildly. JTR, Jorge, and Charles were standing at the end of the tracks arguing over all the possible scenarios. Kim lurched suddenly and Cason rolled off her. Kim scrambled after her. In the process of this they smashed into the back of JTR. JTR fell face first into the dust with a yell. JTR rolled out of the way in just enough time to avoid getting kicked.

"Hey stop! You are messing up what tracks we have left!" yelled Jorge. But he didn't dare move forward to break up the fight.

Charles looked over at JTR, "You almost died just then."

"I know, you think they are trying to KILL each other?" JTR breathed. All Jorge, JTR, and Charles could do was watch as Kim grabbed Cason by the head and beat it against the ground. They all noticed immediately when instead of the thud they expected, they heard the sound of head meeting metal. Cason stopped and laid very still. Kim rolled over and huffed and puffed desparately trying to catch her breath.

Jorge's eyes caught something. "Hey, take a look at this," he said waving to JTR.

"It looks like a crack in the ground," observed JTR.

"No, didn't you hear Cason's head hitting the ground?" Jorge knocked on the ground. He wiped away the dust and sure enough there was a large piece of metal in the ground.

"It's a door," said Charles.

"Yeah and I bet our cars are down there," someone shouted behind them. As they turned around to look a sound beneath their feet told them that the door was opening. Kim grabbed Cason by the foot and dragged her off the door. JTR, Jorge, and Charles stepped off quickly also. They stood watching the door slowly open when a young girl flung herself on them.

"What?" began JTR as he, Charles, and Jorge almost fell into the dust.

"Not now just come with me quickly!" Without argument they followed. Kim, sensing her urgency, drug Cason as far as the first bush then left her to run after the others. There happened to be a tree standing nearby. The girl led them to it and they climbed it and waited.

"You left her down there?" the girl whispered to Kim.

"Yeah, was that bad?" she asked concern flashing across her face.

The girl stared at the door, "I guess we'll see."

The door was fully open now. Kim, JTR, Jorge, and Charles stared intently. Suddenly they saw something but they didn't see anything. Charles blinked and rubbed his eyes.

Cason stired slightly. The girl drew in her breath. Cason stayed completely still. Then moments later the large door began to close.

"Quick! Follow me!" The girl jumped out of the tree and ran for the door. She paused long enough to help Cason up, then continued to the door.

"I know you all don't know who I am but follow me and I can help you get your cars back!" she dissapeared. Everyone exchanged looks then jumped in after her.

In the stone circle Jimbob stood look out. He narrowed his eyes, "Amos! Go fetch me my flamethrower!"

JTR, Jorge, Charles, Kim, and Cason followed the strange girl in a large underground room. There was old machinery everywhere that JTR doubted even worked. For an underground room it was also very well lit.

"Okay, just who are you?" asked JTR comming up next to the girl.

"Oh, I'm sorry my name is Lily. I am here to help you get your cars back."

"Yeah we already got that," Interupted Cason gently touching her bloody nose, "What I want to know is what the hell were those things that came out of the door, and are there still some in here?"

"Oh, no when the sun comes up they all leave. They prosper in the sun, that is also why it is so well lit in here. In town we call them Locks," seeing Charles opening his mouth she quickly added, "and don't ask me why because I don't know. Here is the short version, the Locks keep this town hostage. They want cars for two reasons. They eat the tires and the rest of the car goes to their giant chop shop. If we don't give them cars then they feed on us."

A shiver ran through the group.

"You are speaking English?" observed JTR. Kim, Cason, and Jorge sighed.

"Yes, but Jimbobwean is my native tounge just like all the other people in this town," answered Lily.

"Jimbobwean?" they all said at the same time.

"Yes, let's keep moving," she answered. They walked in silence for several minutes as Lily led them through a maze of old machinery and old car parts.

Charles finally broke the silence. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ran into a bucket of screws which tipped over and spilled screws everywhere.

He looked wildly around and pointed at Cason, "She did it!" He ran to the front of the line next to Lily, "So... I think I saw something when the door opened but I'm not really sure I did, you know?" he questioned.

"You actually saw them?" she sounded shocked.

"Yea, I saw them too!" said Jorge.

"Me too," chimed in JTR, Kim, and Cason.

"Really?" questioned Lily, eyebrows raised. The whole group nodded. She shrugged then turned and continued on the trip.

"These creatures or people whatever you want to call them, are an ancient group of people. They lived in the light, even at night they built fires so big that they could see perfectly. Legend has it that these people made a deal with the gods to make them daylight beings, who would be unstoppable in the sunlight. That is why they are impossible to see because they are the exact color of the desert floor and they are impossible to fight because they use the daylight to their advantage. And normally only people with an eye for adventure, danger, or just special people in general can see them. There are only like five people in the whole town that can see them, and all of you can see them? Wow!"

Lily stopped, "Here we are!"

Cason ran to Latisha and gave her the best hug you can give a strech hummer. Kim ran and jumped into the Microbus. Charles quickly found his neon pink chevy deluxe and climbed in. Jorge quickly hooked the other team's cars to Latisha. Lily joined JTR, Jorge, and Cason in Latisha and they all sped away.

"What are we going to do about the Locks when we get to town?" asked Cason.

Lily sighed, "I don't know, we'll have to play it by ear I guess. If it doesn't work they will definately kill me this time."

"Wait, what?" asked JTR, "Just how long have you been saving people that got caught by the detours?"

"All my life. My mother believed we should try to protect outsiders. When I was 15 the Locks caught her helping someone and they killed her. Ever since then me and my father have helped travelers because we know that is what she would have wanted us to do."

"Oh, and who is your father?" asked JTR.

"Right, I'm sure you know him as Sheriff Wide Urkel... by the way your friends are hiding in a circle of stones on the far side of the road."

JTR jumped out of Latisha, he looked wildly around then sprinted to the circle. What he saw next suprised him.

Jimbob was standing in the middle of the circle with some kind of weapon. But he was not alone. About 20 glass figures stood around him.

"What happened?" asked Lily running up to one of the figures and examining it.

"Well when sand gets really hot, it turns into glass." Jimbob winked at Kim and continued, "I saw some sand comming out of the desert so I made some glass! Ooooo our cars are back!"

Everyone scrambled in different directions. In the end only JTR and Lily stood among the glass figures.

"I'm sorry you all were held up," she smiled.

"I'm sorry we blew in and out like we have," he answered.

"That's okay, now that the Locks are dead more people will stay here, thanks."

"Come on JTR everyone else is leaving!" yelled Cason. JTR scrambled into Latisha and they were off again.

About thirteen minutes down the road the eight race teams merged onto Autovía Cantabria-Meseta towards exit 178. It would be about an hour and fifteen minutes before they’d be changing roads and almost four hours and forty-five minutes before they’d hit Madrid. So the teams all settled in for the drive.

After about thirty minutes of driving, coupled with the fact that the excitement that morning had stirred everyone up, the racers started getting a little bored. Team Kittens was playing cow poker, team Sheriff’s Car was playing find the American license plate, and team T&T had started a game of eye spy. Stephen Bryars was driving for team 2XW. His team wasn’t really in a game playing mood. He reached out for the radio.

“¡Hola!” came the DJ’s voice, “¡Y espalda bienvenida a RADIO MAÑANAS con Miguel Angel Monedero! Bien, espero que usted hable inglés bueno… because we’re here with two representatives from Nintendo who no hable español. I understand you have a special promotion set up here.”

“That’s right, Miguel,” came a second voice, “We’re out here on the A-67 setting up a special promotion to celebrate the coming release of Mario Kart for the Nintendo Wii.”

“¡Ah Si!” came Miguel’s voice again, “So why are you out here on the A-67?”

“Well,” said the other voice, “That’s all part of the plan.”

Bryars glanced out the passenger window and saw Latisha was cruising at a steady pace to his right. He glanced out the driver window and saw the pink deluxe also keeping pace to his left. He turned his attention back to the radio.

“We have it on good authority,” continued the Nintendo guy, “that the teams from the Lucasfilm Race stayed in Santillana del Mar last night. The A-67 is the quickest route to their next check point in Madrid right?”

“Sí. Usted es correcto, compañero,” answered Miguel.

“Okay,” continued Nintendo guy, “well we’ve set up these idem blocks along the road.”

Bryars sat up and took notice. What did he mean… idem blocks?

“¿Qué… do they do?” asked an overly enthusiastic Miguel.

“When the racers drive over them it will upload Mario Kart weapons from past titles into their vehicles,” answered Nintendo guy, “And yes… they will be very usable.”

Bryars sat bolt upright. This could give him an advantage. But suddenly he noticed Latisha and the deluxe speed up. They must have been listening too.

“¡Oye!” came Miguel’s voice over the radio, “I think I see them coming now!”

Bryars peered down the road and saw the Nintendo Wii banner stretching across the road.

“Hey guys!” said Bryars, “Things are about to get interesting up here!”

It was a mad dash to see who could get to the Mario Kart Blocks first. Team 2XW managed to pull ahead and get the first one. Team Kittens slid through next and team Sheriff’s Car ran through third.

“Man,” said Savage as they waited to see what they got, “I’m getting some flash backs from Canada.”

2XW all breathed a huge sigh of relief as the idem that appeared was the First Place Seeking Blue Shell. But their success was short lived as team Sheriff’s Car had gotten the Ghost which they promptly used rendering their vehicle invisible and invulnerable, and stealing the Blue Shell from 2XW. At that moment team Kittens fired off the lightning bolt they had gotten which shrank all the other teams… except team Sheriff’s Car which was still protected by the Ghost.

Team Kittens was about to zip past the shrunken Austin Metropolitan when suddenly the Chevy Deluxe monster truck reappeared right in front of them. RJ jerked Latisha to the left to avoid rear ending the deluxe and barreled right over the top of team 2XW squishing their car flat. The teams all sped down the road firing their Mario weapons at one another.

Team 2XW stepped out of their flattened vehicle and regained their regular size. They kept waiting for their car to do the same but it never would.

“You’ve got to be f#@king kidding me!” yelled Jerry Adonis. Team 2XW stood their staring at their tiny squished ’61 Austin Metropolitan Convertible with a tiny squished burnt Cadillac Escalade grill bolted to the front as the Nintendo reps came running over.

“You guys okay!?”

Jerry turned around with fire in his eyes, “Do we look okay!?”

Sensing the impending doom the nearest rep began to work up a deal, “Look, how about we give you guys a new car courtesy of Nintendo… and hopefully compensating for any damages caused by untested video game related inventions.”

“Why I oughta!” Jerry stepped forward fists clenched.

Stingray stepped in between him and the rep, “We’ll take the car, just hurry so we can get back to the race. David, Mike, get the grill off and bring it over here.”

David Owens and Savage rolled their eyes and began unbolting the tiny squished burnt Cadillac Escalade grill. The Nintendo rep signaled to his buddies and before long a yellow Pikachu Volkswagen Bug was idling in front of them. All of team 2XW’s mouths hit the ground. With a sigh of disappointment they began bolting their tiny squished burnt Cadillac Escalade grill to the front of yet another new vehicle.

Almost four hours later all the teams, except team 2XW, rolled into Madrid. All their vehicles were pretty banged up from all the Mario Kart battling they had done on the way there. Team Save the Tree’s box car had turned purple from all the damage. All the teams began looking for a mechanic shop.

RJ decided that since Latisha had the brain of a dog they should find a mechanic/pet groomer. Before long they pulled into the office/garage of Dr. Meca Nick. Dr. Meca Nick happened to be a mechanic/pet groomer. Cason nervously agreed to leave Latisha in the possibly capable hands of Dr. Meca Nick.

Charles decided to get a few things changed on the deluxe since it was being worked on anyway. He asked them to fix the suspension so the monster truck wheels actually looked right. Also he asked to have it painted another color. Unfortunately the deluxe came out looking an even brighter shade of pink. Turns out Skycam had it fixed so the deluxe would never be any other color than pink.

As it turns out all the teams had found a mechanics shop on the same street. They all walked out and noticed each other. They all started towards each other. Inge saw that she was about to come face to face with team Kittens again.

“Um… Charles,” said Inge.

“Yea?” said Charles.

“I gotta go… uh… somewhere,” said Inge, “I’ll be back.”

“Okay,” said Charles as Inge sped way. All the teams converged on each other and said their hellos.

“Look,” said Tom, “Before anyone says anything… I know we’ve been competitors this whole time but I think we’ve all kinda grown into a little family. What do ya say we all go catch an early lunch together?”

They all looked around at each other. They were all hungry so they agreed it wasn’t a half bad idea. As they started to go find a restaurant, a yellow Pikachu VW Bug turned onto the street.

“Awsome!” yelled Jimbob, “Look at that thing!”

Team 2XW pulled up next to the others. Everyone on all the teams paused for half a second before bursting into laughter. After everyone recomposed their selves, they filled team 2XW in on their plans. 2XW decided to join them.

They all agreed they should enjoy some local cuisine. So they headed for the most Spanish sounding place they could find… Taco Bell. Turns out, the Taco Bell they found was a pretty fancy sit down restaurant. Everyone meandered their way in as team 2XW parked.

“That is the most awesome car ever!” yelled Jimbob.

“Thank you, Jimbob,” said Stingray, “but please… can we not talk about it.”

“But it’s so awesome!” continued Jimbob, “You guys wanna trade?”

Team 2XW all stopped and took notice of what Jimbob had just said.

“You want to trade?” said Owens, “The Pikachu car for the Deluxe?”

“Yea!” agreed Jimbob.

“Well,” thought Owens, “I’d love that but Charles would never let that happen…”

“Sure he would!” said Jimbob.

“As much as I’d like to believe that,” said Jerry, “No he wouldn’t.”

“Aw,” wined Jimbob as he followed them into Taco Bell, “Come on!”

Inge had followed them to the restaurant. She slinked her way around to the back of the restaurant and knocked on the door. The door swung open and a female waitress poked her head out.

“¿Hola?” she said. Inge promptly smacked her in the head with a shovel and dragged her into the ally way. Inge yanked a hair out of the waitress’s head and stuffed her under some nearby trash bags. Inge then walked over to a dumpster and ducked behind it where a caldron was bubbling.

She opened up her purse and started pulling out strange things. She put into the caldron 12 lacewing flies, an ounce of crude Antimony, four leeches, 16 scruples of Fluxweed, three drams of Sal Ammoniac, knotgrass, a pinch of powdered horn of a bicorn, shredded skin of a boomslang, filings and rasplings of Salpeter, Mercury, and Mars. Finally she added the hair of the waitress. The contents of the caldron turned a bright pink color. Inge dipped a cup in and took a gulp. In no time she had successfully transformed into the waitress.

She walked over and stole the waitress’s uniform just as a man burst out the door of the restaurant.

“¡Jill!” he yelled, “¿Qué hace usted fuera aquí? ¡Espero que usted no tome otra interrupción del humo! ¡Vuelva para trabajar!”

“Sí señor. Lo siento,” said Inge as she walked into the restaurant in a rush. Her disguise had worked.

The other waitresses and cooks were in an uproar about the LucasFilm Race Teams being out in the dining room. Inge found their orders and snatched them up to go serve the teams. She quickly found the six tables the teams had pulled together. Inge, disguised as Jill, made her way to the far left end of the table and began placing food before the starving racers. Team 2XW was sitting at the far left end along with Jimbob.

“Come on guys!” pleaded Jimbob, “Let’s trade cars.”

“As I said before,” said Owens, “I doubt you can convince Charles to do that.”

“I already talked to him though,” said Jimbob.

David and Jerry looked up at Jimbob, “Really?”

Jimbob paused, “… No… but I know he’d say yes.”

Owens sighed, “I tell you what… you get the keys to the deluxe, and we’ll talk.”

“No problem,” said Jimbob. At that moment one of Jimbob’s dreadlocks began to grow. It grew so long it reached the floor and then began to slither along the ground in between the legs of everyone’s chairs until it came to where Charles was sitting. It the slinked up and into Charles’ pocket and retrieved the keys to the deluxe. Jimbob’s hair then began to shrink back to its normal length.

Jimbob dangled the keys in front of Owens and Jerry, “So can we trade?”

Owens glanced at Jerry, “Alright, you got a deal.”

Inge moved down the table. Just to the right of Team 2XW and Jimbob was Team Save the Silence. Inge set their nachos down in front of them. They silently showed their excitement before become increasingly confused on how to eat the chips silently.

Inge continued on coming to RJ and Sky Cam sitting across from Cason. Sky Cam was just finishing telling RJ how Charles’ deluxe wouldn’t ever be any other color than pink.

“You know,” commented RJ, “I think Latisha would look nice in a different color.”

Cason cut her eyes at RJ. RJ didn’t notice. He went on about what colors Latisha would look good in.

“By the way,” said Sky Cam, “I really need you to finish up the honey do list. I really need that Gulf Oil sign.”

“I think JTR has one of those back home,” said RJ, “I can get it when the race is over.”

Inge continued down the line. Kim Jones was sitting in between Charles and Guy Taylor. Across the table from them sat Girl Taylor and Amos. Charles, Guy Taylor, and Amos were pounding down their food and Kim and Girl Taylor were exchanging looks of disgust.

“Hey,” said Guy Taylor, “Where’s Cob?”

Cob was out back smoking his own foot with Jay and Silent Bob.

Inge came to Tom and Mustard who were sitting with Teams Arizona Heart and Save the Trees. Mustard was trying to eat Oaky while Tom and Brian tried to stop him. Inge sat Oaky in a bowl of water and turned a heat lamp on him then moved on. At the far right of the table sat JTR and Jorge across from Anson and Goodyn.

“Hey JTR,” said Goodyn, “Whatever happened to Inge?”

Inge drew in a breath and held it.

“Well,” said JTR, “I don’t know… I haven’t really thought about it but… she just… disappeared back in London. I guess the plot hole sent her somewhere. I hope she’s okay.”

Anson and Goodyn glanced at each other.

“Well,” said Anson, “We got some news for you…”

Inge, sensing her plans were about to be revealed, “accidentally” tripped and spilled food all over JTR, Jorge, Anson, and Goodyn. In the confusion Anson and Goodyn forgot all about the previous conversation. 2XW took this moment to get up and leave rather hastily.

“Where’re they goin’ in such a hurry,” asked JTR.

“Oh,” said Jimbob with a giant smile, “Probably just to get their car.”

Charles turned to Amos and said, “I should probably be worried about the way he said that… but I think I’ll let it slide this time.”

They all finished up their lunch and headed back to their respective mechanics. Charles stretched and patted his belly, then reached for his keys. But they weren’t in either of his pockets.

“Hmm,” he said to himself, “I must’ve left them in the restaurant. As he turned to go back in he caught sight of Jimbob heading for the Pikachu Bug.

“Oh no,” said Charles as Jimbob pulled out a set of keys and opened the door. Charles marched over to Jimbob. Jimbob was sitting very proudly behind the wheel of the Bug.

“Jimbob,” said Charles, “Please… Please! Don’t tell me you swapped cars with team 2XW.”

Jimbob smiled, “Okay… I won’t tell you.”

Team Kittens returned to Dr. Meca Nick. They found Latisha looking like a million bucks. Latisha looked great and Cason was excited. There was something different about her though.

“What’s different?” asked Jorge.

“What?” said Tom.

“Yea,” said JTR, “There’s something different but I can’t quite put my tongue on it.”

Cason looked at JTR, “Tongue? You mean you can’t put your finger on it.”

“Whatever,” said JTR.

“I groomed her,” said Dr. Meca Nick.

“Well of course you did,” said Cason, “And she looks great but what did you do?”

“Oh,” said Dr. Meca Nick, “I combed her.”

“You combed her?” said a skeptical Cason.

“Yea,” answered Dr. Meca Nick, “I combed her.”

Team 2XW sped out of Madrid in the Neon Pink Chevy Deluxe Monster Truck at around 12:30. The Sheriff’s Car flew out of Madrid in the Yellow Pikachu VW Bug at about 12:40. The other five teams meandered out of Madrid at about 12:45. The trip south through Spain was fairly uneventful. It was almost 8:00 when the five trailing teams boarded the Algeciras-Ceuta ferry across the Strait of Gibraltar.

While on the ferry JTR and Jorge talked with some of the ferry workers. It turns out that teams 2XW and Sheriff’s Car had gotten on the ferry to Ceuta about thirty minutes ago. This confirmed what JTR and Jorge already assumed, that the two leading teams had been hauling ass. The ferry ride was also fairly uneventful.

“Wow,” said RJ as he and JTR enjoyed the ocean view, “I think this is the longest we’ve traveled recently without something really crazy happening.”

“Yea,” said JTR, “I’m bored too.” They sighed and starred off into the distance.

About an hour and a half after leaving Algeciras they arrived in Ceuta, Spain. Determined to make the next checkpoint before turning in, most of the teams braved another hour and a half drive west to checkpoint 26. They rolled into Tangier, Morocco at about 11:00 at night.

Fortunately the Moevenpick Hotel & Casino Malabata had reserved rooms for the race teams in anticipation of their arrival. On their way into the hotel they saw the Deluxe and the Pikachu Bug parked side by side.

“Well,” said Cason, “I guess Charles caught up with’em.”

“Yea,” added Brain Hassett, “Let’s just hope it was a civil meeting.”

The teams all got checked in and Jorge did some talking around to find out what had happened with teams 2XW and Sheriff’s Car.

“Well,” said Jorge as he returned to team Kitten’s room, “Turns out Charles caught up to team 2XW here. As far as I can tell 2XW gave up the Deluxe without a fight. Apparently they got laughed at pretty bad driving a Pink Monster Truck.”

“Hmm…” thought RJ, “I wonder why Charles never gets laughed at for driving it.”

“That’s a good question,” said Cason.

Jorge, Tom, Cason, and RJ were settled in for bed. JTR on the other hand wasn’t very tired at all. As his team mates went to sleep JTR went out into the hall. He walked down to the parking garage. He found Jimbob sitting down in front of the Pikachu Bug.

“Sorry fella,” said Jimbob to the vehicle, “I guess you gotta go back to the wild now… so go on, go free.”

“Hey Jimbob,” said JTR, “Why don’t we go get your mind off that car?”

“How?” asked Jimbob.

“Well,” continued JTR, “Hop in Latisha and we’ll go…”

Jimbob didn’t give JTR time to finish, “OOOOOHHH!!! I love car rides!”

He leapt up and sped over to Latisha. JTR drove into downtown Tangier looking for a good place to get a drink. After a while they found a sleazy dive called Dean’s Bar.

JTR and Jimbob pushed aside a wooden beaded curtain and stepped into the dim and smoky bar. Men were sitting around on stools drinking. It was like stepping back in time. In fact the Madrid football posters on the walls were the only concessions to the new millennium.

A waiter in a waistcoat and flat cap brought JTR and Jimbob beers and tapas. More specifically the tapas they enjoyed on this occasion were Andalusia battered fried baby squid. They sank back happily into their black leatherette chairs and enjoyed their beer and tapas.

“You okay, Jimbob?” asked JTR.

“Yea, why?” asked Jimbob.

“Well,” continued JTR, “a moment ago you were being all emotional over team 2XW getting there Pikachu car back.”

“Team 2XW has a Pilachu car!?” exclaimed an excited Jimbob.

“Never mind,” said JTR. As JTR sank back into his chair something caught his eye. Someone was watching him and Jimbob from one of the dark corners of the bar. JTR watched this mysterious figure out of the corner of his eye for the next hour as he and Jimbob sat enjoying themselves. The stranger got up and left almost ten minutes before they did.

“Well,” said JTR, “I guess we better get back to the… uh… to the… um… crap what’s the word… uh… the hotel!”

“Aw, JTR,” said Jimbob, “JTR your drunk gimme the keys.” Jimbob fell flat on his face smashing through a table.

JTR giggled, “Your face is drunk!”

“Your momma’s drunk,” replied Jimbob. The two of them stumbled out into the streets.

“Here Latisha!” yelled JTR, “Here Latisha, Latisha, Latisha! Good Yellow Stretch Hummer with a White Roof!”

They looked left down the road, and right down the road but they didn’t see Latisha.

“Hey Latisha,” yelled JTR, “You rotten car! Where’d you go!?”

“Oh well,” said Jimbob, “We’ll just walk.”

“Okay,” said JTR. They started to walk when suddenly JTR got an eerie feeling something wasn’t right.

“Hey,” said JTR, “You ever get the feeling you’re being watched?”

“Yea,” said Jimbob as he pointed to the Lucasfilm camera man walking next to them.

“Oh yea,” said JTR.

“John!” came a familiar voice. JTR and Jimbob (Jimbob fell down in the process) spun around to see Inge standing in the middle of the road behind them.

“John,” said Inge, “You and Jimbob are in danger! You have to come with me right now!”

“We’re not in danger,” mumbled Jimbob, “We’re in Mexico.”

“Tangier,” JTR corrected before turning his sights back on Inge, “What do you mean danger? Where have you been?”

“There’s no time to explain!” said Inge more urgently, “You have to trust me, you and all the other racers are in very real danger!”

“She’s right,” came another voice. JTR turned to see Lily standing in the middle of the street pointing a gun their direction.

“Lily?” said a very confused JTR, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s her!” said Inge, “She’s going to kill you!”

“What?” said JTR.

“Open your mouth one more time demon,” said Lily, “and I turn your head inside out.”

“Wait, hold on,” yelled JTR, “What the hell is going on here!?”

“Yea, Inge,” said Lily, “What is going on? Why don’t you tell him about your little party at Giza?”

“She’s trying to trick you John,” said Inge, “She’s trying to turn you against me so she can drink your blood.”

JTR stared back at Inge, “What?”

Inge met JTR’s gaze, “Lily is a vampire…”

“Oh,” said Lily, “That’s rich… and I suppose in this little fantasy you get to be the IBNI representative?”

“IBNI? Vampires?” JTR was getting frustrated, “Will some one tell me what the hell is going on here!?”

Inge and Lily both stood unwaveringly. Jimbob tried to stand up but he fell down again. JTR had had enough. He drew his gun and fired at Lily. The bullet collided with Lily’s gun and she dropped it. Lily went to grab the gun.

“Don’t!” yelled JTR, “I want some answers out of you two, now!”

Lily looked up at JTR and left the gun on the ground, “Okay… you want answers. Inge is the vampire.”

“That can’t be true,” said JTR, “We’ve seen her out in the daylight.”

“She’s a Strigoaică,” said Lily, “She’s an evil soul that transforms into an animal or phantomatic apparition during the night to terrorize people… sunlight doesn’t affect her.”

“What is IBNI!?” asked JTR.

Lily hesitated, “The International Bureau of Nosferatic Intelligence…”

“Are you trying to tell me you’re a vampire slayer now,” asked JTR, “and Inge is the vampire?”

“No,” said Inge, “She’s the vampire! Shoot her, you’ll see!”

“No, John!” yelled Lily, “You’ve got to believe me! Inge is the vampire!”

“I thought you’d been fighting the Locks in Santillana Del Mar your whole life,” said JTR.

“I was,” said Lily, “The Locks used to have a pact with vampires. The vampires protected the Locks by night and the Locks protected the vampires by day. I found out about this when an IBNI rep came through Santillana Del Mar. He trained me as an IBNI member.”

“What happened to him?” asked JTR.

Lily paused a moment, “The Locks took him and killed him.”

Inge laughed, “A lot of good that training must have done.”

“You shut your mouth, bitch!” yelled Lily.

“Hey!” said JTR, “None of that!”

Inge smirked at Lily’s frustration. JTR didn’t know what to think. Jimbob was still trying to stand back up. Lily and Inge both watched JTR attentively waiting to see whose story would win him over.

“Okay,” said JTR, “So one of you is a vampire… ish… creature, if I’m to believe either story. A vampire could survive a gunshot… so who wants to go first?”

“Shoot her!” yelled Inge.

JTR turned and fired in Inge’s direction. Inge fell over backwards.

“Crap!” said JTR.

“No,” yelled Lily, “Look!”

JTR spun around and saw Inge stand back up. Inge stood slowly and hissed.

“Well,” said Inge, “I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” Inge leapt forward at JTR. JTR rolled out of the way. Lily snatched up her gun and fired twice. Inge sprawled out on the ground and Lily ran over to JTR and Jimbob.

Inge hissed and stood back up. She smiled and hissed really loudly. Her hissing was answered by other hisses echoing through the dark corners of the deserted street. JTR, Inge, and Jimbob looked left and right trying to find the source of the hissing. Suddenly Inge was joined by three more vampires.

“Lilu,” said Lily.

“What?” asked JTR.

“They’re Lilu,” answered Lily, “They’re the demon children of Lilith and Samael.”

“Lilith,” said Jimbob, “That sounds familiar… does Lilith run a Baskin Robins in Oklahoma?”

“No,” said Lily.

“I didn’t think so,” said Jimbob with a frown.

JTR happened to notice that one of the Lilu was carrying a very weird looking gun.

“Hey Lily,” said JTR. “What’s that?”

“That’s a special gun the IBNI designed,” said Lily, “It can kill vampires. I don't know how he got it.”

“Don’t even think about it John,” said Inge, “You’re all going with us and you’ll go without a fuss.” Inge and the other three moved in.

“Okay…” said JTR, “Хорошо здесь плана. Я собираюсь отвлекать их, и грабить, что парень в пушка. Когда я делаю, что хочу, чтобы у вас использовался.”

“What?” said Lily.

“Uenobay,” replied Jimbob, “Steduay oslay istraeráday, orrerécay.”

JTR rolled his eyes at Jimbob and said, “Я не говорю Jimbobwean.”

Jimbob put his hands on his hips and said, “Ísay, ienbay oyay onay ablohay a usoray.”

JTR looked very confused, “Тогда как вы понимаете, что я сказал? Еще важнее то… как я знаю, что вы сказали?”

Jimbob shrugged, “Oyay onay ésay.”

JTR shook his head, “Ах так. Вы готовы?”

“Isay,” replied Jimbob.

JTR turned back toward Inge. Suddenly JTR had a very frightened look on his face.

“Эй посмотреть! А отвлекать!” yelled JTR as he pointed at something behind Inge. Inge and her three Lilu friends turned to look. There was nothing there. They turned around and JTR, Lily, and Jimbob were gone. One of the Lilu looked down and noticed his gun was missing.

“Find them!” yelled Inge, “They’ll ruin everything!”

JTR, Jimbob, and Lily were sprinting down the nearest ally way.

“That was weird,” said JTR.

“Not really,” said Lily, “Vampires happen to be very real creatures.”

“No,” said JTR, “I mean… Jimbob doesn’t speak Russian and I don’t speak Jimbobwean. I have no idea how we understood each other just now.”

They shot out into the next street only to be met by one of the Lilu. The all threw on the brakes and turned around. However another one of the Lilu was right there.

“Well,” said Lily, “What now?”

JTR thought for a moment. He let out the loudest whistle he ever had. The Lilu looked at him very confused. Lily and Jimbob turned to JTR.

“What did that accomplish?” asked Lily.

JTR looked back at her… and shrugged. The Lilu began to laugh as they encroached upon JTR, Lily, and Jimbob. Suddenly a loud roar resounded down the streets. The Lilu stopped and looked in every direction. In the distance they saw some large yellow vehicle coming their way. It was Latisha. Latisha zoomed by snatching up JTR, Jimbob, and Lily as she passed. She sped down the road far away from the Lilu.

“How is this car moving?” asked Lily, “No one’s driving it.”

“Latisha is,” JTR paused, “Latisha is very self sufficient. Moving on… what is going on here?”

“Okay,” said Lily, “From what I understand… Lilith ran some sort of whore house back in Amsterdam. Jimbob here showed up there and… well… he made Lilith pregnant.”

JTR glanced over at Jimbob who was smiling ear to ear.

“I remember that,” said Jimbob very proudly.

“Who is Lilith?” asked JTR.

“Lilith,” said Lily, “is the hand of Inanna. Inanna is the Sumerian goddess of sexual love, fertility, and warfare. Inanna sent a beautiful, unmarried, and seductive prostitute named Lilith out into the fields and streets in order to lead men astray. That’s why she’s called the hand of Inanna.”

“And she’s carrying Jimbob’s baby?” asked a very confused JTR.

“Yea,” said Lily, “That in itself is confusing.”

“Why?” asked JTR.

“Well,” continued Lily, “She is usually described as having no milk in her breasts and unable to bear any children.”

“Wait a minute,” said JTR, “You said a minute ago that those Lilu things were the children of Lilith and Samael.”

“Demon children,” replied Lily, “Their different.”

“Okay,” said JTR starved for answers, “You need to tell me the whole story. Who is Samael and why should we be concerned with Lilith?”

Lily sat down, “Okay… Samael is an archangel… he’s accuser, seducer, and destroyer… he’s the Lord of the Angel of Death! Samael and Lilith were an androgynous being known as the ‘Angel Satan’ or ‘Other God.’ They were born of the Throne of Glory and correspond in the spiritual realm to Adam and Eve. The union of the two wasn’t allowed to last though. God castrated Samael and Lilith was unable to fornicate with him. She left him to couple with men who experienced nocturnal emissions. But God made her infertile. Thus she came into the service of Inanna… and you know the rest.”

“In that day the Lord with His severe sword, great and strong, Will punish Leviathan the fleeing serpent, Leviathan that twisted serpent; And He will slay the reptile that is in the sea,” said JTR.

“What?” asked Lily.

“Isaiah 27:1,” answered JTR, “The story you just told me is a reinterpretation of an old myth where God castrated the male Leviathan and slew the female Leviathan in order to prevent them from mating and thereby destroying the earth.”

“Most old myths are allegories for real events,” said Lily with a smirk, “Anyway, the problem is… somehow, Jimbob impregnated Lilith. So right now growing within Lilith is a child that somehow defies the punishment God set upon Lilith… Jimbob’s son.”

JTR and Lily both stared at Jimbob. He stared back with a goofy grin not knowing at all the depth of the conversation taking place before him.

“Okay,” said JTR, “How can we help.”

Lily smiled, “Okay, this is how it’s gonna go down. Lilith and every various species of vampire in the world are waiting at the Giza Necropolis. They plan to throw a grand party celebrating the birth of what they are calling the ‘New God.’ All the race teams are going to be served up as the feast for the party. That’s what Inge was trying to lead you to.”

“I should’a known,” JTR sighed, “Well lets go back to the hotel and warn them.”

“We can’t,” Lily continued, “Inge and the Lilu are probably guarding them as we speak. We’d do better to wait until morning.”

“How are we supposed to stop them?” asked JTR.

“Well,” Lily frowned, “Most vampires aren’t too hard to kill actually, the Lilu are tougher than most… Inge… as I said before is a Strigoaică… she can't be killed unless killed while she is feasting on the life force of her prey. As for Lilith…” Lily stared right at JTR with a worried look on her face, “I have no idea how to kill her…”

“Where is JTR?” asked an aggravated Cason, “If he’s gone off and gotten lost with Latisha I swear!”

“Just chill,” said Jorge, “I’m sure he’s fine and I doubt he’s forgotten how you treat people who mistreat Latisha.”

RJ chuckled. Team Kittens had been standing outside the hotel for almost thirty minutes waiting for JTR to show back up with Latisha. They had all slept very soundly. Charles and Goodyn came walking around the corner.

“Hey!” said Charles, “Have you seen Jimbob?”

“You’ve lost Jimbob too?” asked Jorge.

“Yea,” said Goodyn, “Why?”

“We’ve lost JTR and Latisha,” answered Cason.

“Wait,” said Tom, “Look over there!”

They all turned in the direction Tom was pointing. Latisha was speeding down the road. Latisha skidded to a stop right in front of them. JTR and Lily jumped out followed by Jimbob.

“I’m the King of the Underworld!” announced Jimbob very proudly.

“What?” asked Cason, “Where have you two been? And what is Lily doing here?”

“We’ll explain on the way,” said JTR, “Where are the rest of the teams?”

“Ahead of us by now,” said Charles, “I guess we’re gonna have to skip the pyramids now just to keep up.”

“Wait,” said JTR, “What do you mean?”

“All the other teams are going to see the pyramids before continuing on today,” said Jorge, “We were gonna join them but we couldn’t find you guys.”

JTR and Lily glanced at each other.

Cason noticed the concern in their eyes, “What’s going on?”

“The pyramids are at the Giza Necropolis,” said JTR, “We got a big problem.”

RJ, Jorge, Tom, Cason, Charles, Skycam, Anson, and Goodyn all listened as JTR and Lily recounted their ordeal with the Lilu and Inge.

When they got done Cason pointed at JTR and said, “Ha I knew that Inge woman was no good! Jorge I want my fifty bucks right now!”

JTR looked at Cason and Jorge and said, “You guys had a bet on whether she was a bad guy or not?”

Jorge looked back and said, “Yes... and you pick terrible people to associate with. That vampire lady just lost me fifty bucks.”

Tom chimed in, “Hey look, we can’t just let the other teams walk into a trap like that. We gotta go now so we can warn them not to go.”

Lily said, “I wish it was that simple. This is a meeting of probably every unholy creature around, if we allow this ‘festival’ to happen then it could mean the end of the world. We need to get a hold of the IBNI and then they can help us. Because no offense but I can’t see how the eleven of us can stop them by ourselves.”

JTR looked over at the Lucasfilm camera man and asked if he thought the other teams had phones. The camera man shrugged his shoulders and kept filming.

“Ok well let’s see if we can’t catch the other teams and warn 'em,” Tom said. They all loaded up into their cars and sped out of Tangiers.

RJ said, “Just when I thought the crazy adventures were over we're off on another one! Woo hoo!”

Lily looked at RJ and said, “You can't be serious, you actually want to go and fight vampires?”

RJ answered back, “Well... No, not really.... but the way I see it is usually we come across out misadventures rather suddenly, this time we know what we are going into.”

“So that makes it better?” asked Lily. The others had been paying attention to their conversation.

Jorge, Tom, JTR and Cason all thought about it a minute and resoundingly said, “Yes.”

They had decided that the best drivers for a bat outa hell drive to Cairo would be Cason. So she was at the wheel. Team Sheriff's car was following closely behind.

Brian Hassett was running across the parking lot of the Rembrandt Hotel in Tangiers. He had no idea why he didn’t come out from under the invisibility cloak while teams Kittens and Sheriff's car were talking. But at the very least he knew he had to get his team and warn any of the others he found. As he ran through the lot he noticed that team save the silence was loading into the Multicat.

‘Good,’ he thought, ‘I can warn them about Giza.’ He ran up to them and quickly spat off what he could remember. The team shook his hand as a thank you and wrote a note saying they would wait for him there.

Brian ran up to his teams room and said, “Hey guys get ready! Have I got something to tell you!”

So after about twenty minutes they all came down into the lot and found team 2XW, team Trees, and Save the Silence in the lot. Team Silence had managed to find them all without any trouble.

David Owens spoke up and said, “Hey what’s this all about? Why did the silent guys come and get us?”

Brian quickly told them what he heard. The rest of them looked shocked.

“Yeah and you want to know the worst of it all? Team Kittens and Sheriff’s car are all racing to stop us from running into the trap, it’ll be a massacre! We need to load up and try and catch them. They can't be to far ahead of us.”

“Hey where is team T&T? I think we could really use their help,” said Brian.

Just as he said this Inge and the Lilu dropped out of nowhere encircling the teams. They were all one big bunch now each with their backs against another facing the Lilu.

"Looks like the cats out of the bag. I was really hoping that I could do this nicely, but looks like force is gonna have to be answer," said Inge.

Brian hasset, noticing that everybody was so close, pulled out the time turner did about a half a turn.

“Hang on!” yelled Brian. A loud horn blew just as they all disappeared.

As they reappeared everyone in the large group gave a yelp. They looked around and then stared at Brian Hassett.

Brian looked around and then whisper yelled, “Follow me!” They quickly followed him behind the big Lucasfilm staff bus.

Once everyone was behind the bus, Brian turned to them and said, “Ok, I know this is strange but this...” he held out his hand and showed the small time turner, “...is a time turner. It allows me and everyone I am touching to go back in time,” he scanned the buildings and saw a clock tower, “I just sent us back about thirty minutes so hopefully we can figure out what to do.”

Steve Bryars was looking very skeptical and just as he was about to ask a question Brian pointed at a figure running across the parking lot.

“See! There I am coming to get you guys," continued Brian, "I'd say that in a few minutes Inge and the Lilu will be there to get us.”

Oaky spoke up, “….. …………. …”

Brian looked at him with a frown, “No, we can’t do that. If we go get our cars now we we risk being seen by ourselves, or worse. I think what we need to do is figure out a way to get rid of Inge and the Lilu after we disappear.” They watched as team silence came back with the other teams.

“This is just too weird,” said Mike Savage. Finally they saw past-Brian come out and overheard him telling the story.

“Ok, we need to get to our cars because as soon as we disappear they’ll go crazy searching for us. Anybody have any plans as to how we do it?" asked Brian.

They heard the bus engine roar up and saw the driver step out. At first he jumped, then smiled, then he looked at the parking lot and got a very confused look on his face.

“What the...” he said as Michel Marceau hit him over the head with a foam lined bat, knocking him cold.

“I got it!” semi-shouted Jerry Adonis, “We take the Lucasfilm bus and run them over just after we go back.”

Brian looked around, “Everybody cool with that?” He got nods from the members of Save the Silence, reassuring stares from team Save the Trees, and general ‘ok’s from the others.

They climbed into the bus, “Who’s driving... I don’t know how to drive stick.” Stingray walked up and took the wheel.

“Ok everybody, get ready,” said Brian. Just then Inge and the Lilu dropped down and surrounded their past selves.

“Alright, as soon as it looks like were ready to go back, hit the horn to get their attention. After that let’s see what kind of hood ornaments they make!”

They listened and as the heard past-Brian yell, “hang on,” Stingray blasted the horn. Inge and the Lilu spun to see the bus coming straight for them. The past- teams disappeared just as the bus smashed through the Lilu and where they just were.

The bus had caught them completely off guard. The Lilu, expecting the teams to still be in the middle, leapt right in the path of the bus. The teams felt the bus hit the Lilu, which threw them off balance.

Stingray, thinking that he might have missed some of them, whipped the bus around. He didn’t see anyone or anything other than an empty lot. Brian opened the bus and scanned for the Lilu or Inge, no body. The parking lot was empty. Brian crept around to the front of the bus to see what was left of the Lilu.

“Disgusting,” said Brain. What he saw were about five or six black and green smudges where the Lilu used to be. He scanned for Inge who could not be found.

He jumped back into the bus and yelled, “Ok everybody! Get to your cars! We’ve got to catch team Save the Kittens and Sheriff’s Car.

"Next stop Cairo!”

Inge was perched on top of the building across the street. She watched as each of the team members ran to their cars and sped off.

‘Sure,’ she thought, ‘It wasn’t perfect but she'd done her job well enough.’

She picked up a phone and dialed a number, “Yeah... their on their way... Kittens and Sheriff are going to be first, the rest are following them. I lost T&T so they could be anywhere... Our secret is out and they have all intensions of stopping us. You may want to reach our INBI contact, we might have some trouble but noting that can’t be handled.”

Teams Kittens and Sheriff’s Car were driving at break-neck speeds towards Cairo. JTR had estimated they had roughly 3,000 miles to drive between Tangier and Cairo. Cason disagreed, she believe it was closer to 4,000 miles. RJ said it didn’t matter as long as they got there as quick as possible. Cason, of course, called RJ a sissy for remaining neutral at which point he estimated they had almost 569,546.9876 miles to drive. JTR told him that that estimate was wildly unreasonable. Jorge and Tom start trying to decide where they would be after traveling 569,546.9876 miles directly east.

All conversations were brought to a stop as Cason jerked Latisha to the right. Latisha skidded around a corner.

“Whoa!” said Charles as Latisha turned off into the desert, “Where the hell do they think they’re going?”

“Are we not following them?” asked Anson.

“No,” laughed Charles, “We ain’t got time for no half baked sight seeing tour through the desert while undead demons are stewing up a pot to cook our buddies in!”

“So we’ll continue on our way?” asked Goodyn.

“Duh…” said Charles as he hit the gas.

Meanwhile team Kittens had a few questions of their own as to why Cason had suddenly jerked Latisha off into the desert.

“Uh,” said Jorge, “Just noticing… Cairo is east, not south.”

“Did no one else see the ‘Short Cut’ sign?” asked an agitated Cason.

No one had. It turns out Cason had seen a sign that read “Short Cut” and decided in light of the situation to take the detour. A few hours later Brian Hassett and and his team came flying by the short cut sign. Save the Silence and Save the Trees followed by without question. As 2XW brought up the rear, Stingray noticed the sign. He called Brian to ask why they passed the short cut. Brian reminded them that chances were good that the vampires had put the sign there as a misadventurous atempt to kill them. Stingray thought that that made sence.

It took almost 34 hours give or take, but team Sheriff’s Car finally came rolling into Cairo high on Red Bull and Starbucks. They sped into Cairo until they realized the Pyramids are on the west end of Cairo and they had passed them. Unfortunatly their Red Bull/Starbucks high was wearing off so they had no choice but to stop for a power nap.

They were awoken very abruptly almost 45 minutes later by teams Arizona Heart, Save the Silence, Save the Trees, and 2XW. Those four teams had also passed the Pyramids but had not yet realized it when they came up on team Sheriff’s Car.

“Charles!” yelled Owens, “Good to see you guys are okay! Where’s team Kittens?”

“Owens?” said a groggy Charles, “Owens! You’re okay!”

“Well,” said Owens, “Yea, I’m fine.”

“Hey,” said Goodyn as he woke up, “Owens! Brian, Oaky… guys! Don’t go to the Pyramids!”

“We know,” said Brian, “You guys left Tangier before we did. I heard the whole story about the Vampires when JTR and Lilly explained it.”

“How?” asked Anson.

“I was hiding under my invisibility cloak in the parking lot,” answered Brian.

There was a brief pause from team Sheriff’s Car before Goodyn said, “Wouldn’t it have been less troublsome to just let us know you guys hadn’t left yet?”

“You guys didn’t answer me,” said Owens, “Where is team Kittens?”

“Who cares,” answerd Charles, “They’re probably off rotting in the desert somewhere… but we have more important things to attend to!”

“ICE CREAM!!!” yelled Jimbob and Skycam.

“No!” said Charles, “I told you there is no ice cream in Africa! It all melted! I’m talking about the giant vampire party. Now gather around because I’ve got a fool proof plan to end the vampire’s party at the pyramids back that way.”

“Wait,” said Stingray, “aren’t the pyramids east of here?”

“No,” said Anson, “Turns out they’re a little west of here.”

Meanwhile somewhere in the desert Latisha was skidding to a hault. Team Kittens had been driving around in the desert this whole time and Latisha was beginning to run out of gas.

“Well,” said Jorge, “This was a great idea.”

Cason shrugged, “Eh, maybe so… but we would’ve never know had we not tried it.”

“Well now what,” asked RJ, “Our friends are walking into a vampire adventure and we’re stuck in the desert!”

“Damn it!” yelled Lilly.

“What?” asked JTR.

“I can’t get in touch with the IBNI,” answered Lilly, “Something is blocking my calls.”

“Or some ONE,” injected RJ.

“That’s not possible,” said Lilly, “If you’re implying that the IBNI has been infiltrated… that’s just not possible.”

“Isn’t it?” asked Cason, “Vampires were an impossible senario but that happened.”

“True,” said Lilly, “but no… surely not…”

Fifteen miles southwest of Cairo city centre, sitting attop the Giza Plateau, was the Giza Necropolis. Approaching from the southeast was a Neon Pink Chevy Deluxe Monster Truck, a Pikachu VW Bug, a red Ford 4Runner, a Box Car, and a MultiCAT.

“It’s just struck me how incredibly subtle this plan isn’t,” said Jerry.

The five cars drove past the Great Sphinx. Looming above them like a great sleeping giant was the only remaining monument of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, the Pyramid of Khufu… the Great Pyramid. A few meters to the southwest stood the Pyramid of Khafre and next to that the Pyramid of Menkaure.

“Okay,” said Anson, “Now one more time… how does this plan go?”

“It’s the easies thing in the world,” said Charles, “We bust in guns blazin’ and hope for the best.”

“Sounds about like our usual plans,” responded Anson.

“Now which of those things do you think the party is happening in,” asked Charles.

“How about the Pyramid of Cheops?”

“The Pyramid of what?” asked Charles.

“Hey wait…” said Goodyn, “Who said that?”

Jimbob spoke up, “Probably that vampire lady that snuck on a few minutes ago.”

All of team Sheriff’s car swung around to find Inge standing in the back of the car smirking.

“The party is happening at the Pyramid of Cheops,” said Inge.

“You mean to tell me we’re in the wrong place?” said Charles.

Inge rolled her eyes and marched them out of the Deluxe. A group of Lilu had already captured the other four teams.

“Well,” said Inge, “looks like the party is about ready to get started. After all… the guest of honor is here.” Inge walked right up to Jimbob.

Jimbob blinked absent mindedly and said, “Who’s the guest of honor?”

“You are,” said Inge, “Hard as that may be to believe… Madam Lilith is going to be so very pleased.”

“Should we prepare the feast?” asked one of the Lilu with a twisted grin.

“No,” said Inge, “take them to one of the valley pyramids for safe keeping until the final two teams arrive.”

“Hey!” yelled out Tom, “What’s that!?”

The rest of team Kittens turned in the direction Tom was pointing. Coming over a near by sand dune was a white VW Microbus. As it drew closer the realized that one of the tires was flat.

“Hey,” said Jorge, “It’s team T&T.” They all ran over to team T&T.

Turns out team T&T had rolled out of Tangiers about an hour earlier than everyone else. They didn’t know anything about the vampire scandle. They had come across the short cut sign and took it. They had wondered about in the desert until they came upon a wild and crazy party. It was hard to believe but yes… there was a giant wild spring breaky party out in the desert. Being the party people they are they joined right in. When the alcohol finally wore off they remembered they were running a race. They started out through the desert until Guy Taylor accidentally ran over a cactus and popped a tire.

Team Kittens was quite taken with their story yet there were more pressing matters to attend to. Such as the appocolyptic bash going on in Giza. JTR and Lilly explained the situation.

“And if we don’t get to the Giza Necropolis quick,” explained Lilly, “The other teams are gonna be slaughtered.”

“Wait,” said Guy Taylor, “If you think the twenty five people on the other five tems are gonna get slaughtered… how do you think the eleven of us are gonna do any better?”

“Hmm…” thought Tom, “He’s got a point.”

“I’ll tell you why the eleven of us are gonna do better than the twenty five of them,” yelled Cason, “Because we’re us and not them! Taylor! We have a spare tire we can put on your vehicle. Then we’ve got to pile into the Microbus and get to the pyramids!”

“Why can’t we take Latisha and the Microbus?” asked Kim.

“Latisha’s outta gas,” responded Jorge.

“Well why didn’t you say so?” said Amos, “We’ve got this multi-chambered cryogenic space shuttle external fuel tank we stold from the Ibn Batouta International Airport in Tangier. It’s still got all the fuel in it as we didn’t have time to empty it before we had to run from airport security. We can attach it to Latish.”

“Wow,” said Cason, “Latisha will fly after that... You know, figurativly speaking. How long will it take to get it on?”

“Hmm,” thought Amos as he inspected Latisha, “I’ll be done by the time Casey starts writing her entrée.”

“Wait,” said Cason, “Who the hell is Casey?”

“Nevermind,” said JTR, “Let’s just get to work. Lest you all forget… there is demonic festival about to begin that’ll cause the end of the world!”

"Okay, are you ready for this?" asked Cason looking back at everyone in Latisha. Everyone nodded.

Cason turned and looked out the front windshield. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She slowly let it out then opened her eyes. She slowly reached out with one toe and barley touched the gas petal. Latisha shot across the desert like a rocket. Everyone was thrown back in their seats. Cason reached with all her might to grab the steering wheel. One hand reached it... the other hand slowly grabbed hold too. Cason grunted and pulled as hard on her foot as she could to press it on the break. Her foot finnaly found the break. She pushed with all her might. The breaks finnaly gave way and Latisha came to a sliding to a halt.

What looked like a ball of fur flew from the back of Latisha and hit Cason square in the back of the head as she simultaniously hit her head on the front windshield.

"Woo! Lets do it again!" yelled RJ excitedly.

JTR groaned and looked like he was gonna be sick. Jorge had a death grip on the arm rests of his seat. He shook himslef out of it and unbuckled himself to check on Tom, who was slumped over in his chair. JTR tried to stand up but his seatbelt caught him. He began to fumble with the button to get loose. Tom began to stir as Jorge started to pour spirits from JTR's flask down his throat. Tom gasped and coughed.

JTR finnaly succeded in escaping his seatbelt and stumbled out of Latisha. He hit the ground on his hands and knees. Dust drifted up from around him as he rested there taking deep breaths. After a few minutes he squinted up at the sky.

The sun was bright and the day was very hot. JTR brought is hand, still shaking, up to shade is eyes. Just a little off in the distance was a pyramid. A shadow fell across him before he could examine it to closely. JTR looked up into the face of Guy Taylor. Girl Taylor and Cob peeked at JTR over his shoulder.

"That was an awsome ride man," said Taylor in a very clam voice. JTR glanced at the VW Microbus where he could just see Kim and Amos laying on the floor. They looked pale but otherwise okay. Guy Taylor reached down and helped JTR to his feet. Just then Jorge stepped off Latisha stuffing the keys in his pocket.

"Aw! Come on you have to admit that was fun! Please can we do it again? I want to drive this time!" RJ pleaded as he followed Jorge.

"No!" replied Jorge, "In Mexibrook we have this old saying, 'Sunblock does not do the blocking in the bowling alley.'"

RJ looked puzzled but did not argue with him anymore.

Finaly well enough to speak JTR asked, "How is Tom and Cason?"

"Oh, Tom will be okay, he is very concerned with Mustard though. I think Mustard will be fine," said Jorge, "And Cason, well she hit her head on the windshield. I'm surprised her hard head didn't break it. I think she'll be okay too, but she'll have a hell of a headache when she wakes up."

JTR nodded. Amos and Kim joined the group leaning on each other for support.

"It's a good thing... we attached the Microbus to Latisha... like I suggested," breathed Amos, "You guys... might have... left us back there."

There was a long pause while everyone caught their breath, except for Taylor, Taylor, Cob, and RJ who seemed to be uneffected.

"Well we are in luck," observed JTR at last breaking the silence, "There are pyramids over there... and if memory serves that is the Pyramid of Cheops."

"So," Kim interjected, "I thought we were looking for Giza or something?"

"Yea... Cheops is part of the Giza Necropolis. Besides, I think we are in the right place," said JTR.

"What makes you think so?" asked Kim one eyebrow raised.

"Well it has to do with the vampires comming this way from the Pyramid over there."

They all looked in the direction JTR was pointing and sure enough they saw the pyramid a short way in the distance and the small group of vampires racing towards them.

"Damn," said Amos under his breath.

"Now what?" asked Girl Taylor.

"I don't know..." JTR broke off. He still looked a little sick.

"Hide," the group turned to see Cason pushing Tom off Latisha with Mustard cradled in his hands, "There is a secret compartment in Latisha where you should all fit. Hide there... I have a plan."

"What-" Kim began. Cason held out the box that said Jimbob.

"It is simple," she explained as she opened the secret compartment on the underside of Latisha, "I will allow myself to get caught to save you guys. Once they take me inside I will open the box that says Jimbob. I assume that Jimbob will come out of it. When he does I will hold him ransome. But you guys have to sneek in too just in case something goes wrong."

"Sounds good to me!" said RJ and he jumped into the secret compartment. The others followed him. Cason stuffed the box in her pocket and sat on the ground back leaning against Latisha, and waited.

Amos sat in the crowded cell thinking back on when he sat in the secret compartment in Latisha. The compartment was impossibly big to be on the underside of a yellow strech hummer. It was definately bigger than the crowded cell he now sat in with the other race teams. Girl Taylor and Guy Taylor had been captured before him and were sitting nearby in the cell.

He looked up as the door opened, and Tom and Cob were thrown in the cell too.

Kim stood very still. As a matter of fact she stood as still as a statue.

In the ill fated attempt to gain enterence into the pyramid unnoticed she had managed to get herself into a sticky situation. It had sounded like a great plan when they thought it up in the secret room in Latisha. JTR new about a seceret enterence into the pyramid. The plan was to sneek into the pyramid through this secret entrance disquised as goat herders. It had almost worked, the secret entrance had not been guarded and everything seemed to be going according to plan.

Then RJ got tired of pretending to be a goat herder and proceded to throw off his costume and force himself into one of the goat costumes. Unfortunately the goats were real.

From there Kim didn't see much more because they were all forced to flee. She had succefully made it into the enterence. She was quite sure JTR, Tom, and Cob had also made it. She was also equally as sure that Taylor and Taylor had been captured.

As Kim had fled through the pyramid she lucked into not running into anyone. She did however run into the kitchen. Scared out of her mind she had quickly flung herself out of site into a giant pile of white powder.

Kim laied very still and looked around what she assumed was the kitchen. She looked closer and saw that there was no food. Then she suddenly remembered, she was the meal. Kim had felt a sudden need to get out of the kitchen very quickly. She had waited until she thought it was clear then she jumped out of her hiding spot and moved towards the exit.

Then Kim had heard footsteps. She froze mid-step. Two big men came around the corner.

"Ah, we missed one," grumbled one of the men. Kim's eyes twiched downward, she had managed to stop right on top of a wooden square.

"Why do we decorate our parties with these stupid looking human statues?" asked the second man. They stooped to pick Kim up. As they rose her off the floor Kim had had to use all her balance and muscles to stay still and on the platform.

"Because the father is a human... man this one is heavy!"

So it was that Kim was now pretending to be a statue right in the middle of the vampires' party.

JTR did not feel like he had chosen the best hiding spot. In the confusion after RJ had tried to wear a live goat JTR had run blindly just trying to escape capture and keeping the possibility open for saving everyone. All he could remember thinking was, if he could escape at least there was still a chance he could help. JTR however should have been thinking about where he was running. He ran straight into the Queen's Chamber.

JTR stopped dead. Nothing in the room moved he turned and quietly shut the door behind him. Encouraged by the silence JTR had inched further into the room. He was just admiring the general splendor of the room when he heard a familiar voice. It was Jimbob.

JTR hesitated then made up his mind. He ran to the closet and hid behind the many racks of fine clothes. Seconds after he got himself hidden the door flew open and Jimbob entered followed by Lilith.

"I want more decorations!" yelled Jimbob.

Lilith sounded exasperated, "I'll send someone to look for more. Will that make you happy?"

Jimbob crossed his arms and looked at her, "Can we have streamers too?"

Lilith sighed, "Yes we can have streamers too."

"Yeah! Okay I'm happy now."

Lilith smiled and sank into her chair.

JTR nearly gave away his hiding spot when he suddenly felt something crawling up his arm in the inside of his shirt. JTR held in the scream and shoved his hand into his shirt. He pulled out Mustard. JTR breathed heavily and tried to steady his heart.

Standing in the closet in this state he suddenly remembered something. If what he remembered of the Pyramid of Cheops was correct then the Grand Gallery where the party was most likely taking place was just above where he now was in the Queen's Chamber. The crew's quarters where the prisoners were most likely taken was off to his left.

JTR whispered as quietly as he could to Mustard, "Go.. um... squeek... ah... release prisoners... squeek?"

Mustard jumped out of his hand immediately and ran to the corner of the closet where he found a rat hole and dissapeared.

"Did you hear that?" Lilith stood up and took a step towards the closet.

Cason never made it to the cells where the other teams were being held. She had not resisted being captured until she was in the pyramid. The vampires had decided that Cason didn't look like too much of a threat so they had left her with one gaurd. No one knew about the secret entrance, so the vampire who was gaurding it was charged with taking her to the cells.

What he didn't expect her to do was make a shotgun materialize in her hand and use it to beat him over the head. She left him laying in the hall and went quickly to find a hiding spot.

So Cason ended up in the hidden treasures room. She sat on a pile of gold coins eyes wide and unblinking wondering what to do next. Head still hurting from hitting it against the windshield earlier that day she laid down and quickly fell asleep forgeting the box and the plan.

Jorge stepped out onto the dance floor and scanned the crowd for a pretty dance partner. Spotting one he crossed the floor and was soon standing in front of her. He bowed low hand nearly touching the floor.

He stood back up straight and straightened his suit then asked, "May I have this dance?"

The girl giggled and nodded. Jorge took her hand and began dancing. They whirled in circles around the dance floor. He seemed to be a guest, but he kept an eye out for trouble while keeping his true identity hidden.

JTR's heart lept into his throat. Lilith was in the doorway to the closet now peering in at him. He was sure she hadn't seen him but he still held himself pressed against the wall. He held his breath as she reached forward. She was about to fling back the clothes and discover him.

"Hey!" Jimbob yelled. Lilith turned in just enough time to see Jimbob disappear into thin air.

Lilith ran from the room forgeting the closet, "Find him! Bring Jimbob back to me!"

Lily began to stir a little. She shook the cob webs loose. As she looked up she realized she was still laying in the back of Latisha. She must have passed out from the speed after their rocket ride through the desert. She stood up and made her unbalanced way toward the door. She stepped out into what she appeared to be a parking deck. She also noticed that this parking deck happened to be right next to one of the pyramids.

Suddenly everything came back to her. She immediatly noticed that no one from team Kittens or team T&T was anywhere to be seen. She assumed the worse and began to form a plan of rescue. She stepped back into Latisha looking for whatever instruments of death she could find. She moved towards RJ's stuff. Unfortunatly RJ had left the Vawoomp gun in the seat in front of his. Being out in plane sight, Lily missed it. Sadly all she could find was RJ's paddle ball. She would have to make due.

She made her way down to the parking deck enterance which was gaurded by two vampires. She snuck up on the first and choked him to death with the paddle ball string. As the second gaurd turned to attack she knocked him out with the paddle. With a head of steam brought on by her mad paddle ball weilding skills, Lily burst into the pyramid.

Turns out she ran into the wrong pyramid and got stuck in an hour long tour that also visited Sphinx.

An hour later Lily came walking out of the gift shop with a Statue of Liberty lighter, a Pyramid paper weight, and a Sphinx pez despenser. She still had the problem of saving her friends. Suddenly she remembered seeing someone use sand to make an explosive in some movie... the Scorpion King or something. Anyway, she decided to grab a hand full of sand and march right into the pyramid. She was confident enough in her march that the gaurds didn't question her.

Once inside she quickly found the men's room and made a makeshift fuse for her sand pile. She used the Statue of Liberty lighter to light the fuse and then shot out of the bathroom. She ran right out into a group of party going vampires who decided to question why a woman was exiting the men's room. Lily, thinking quick, distracted them by sharing the pez from her Sphinx pez despencer.

She wandered around trying to distance herself from the impending explosion. She suddenly found herself out on the dance floor. Luckily Jorge came walking over and scooped her into a dance.

"Just be cool," said Jorge, "Act natural. So what's up?"

"Just wait a few seconds," said Lily, "things are about to get real exciting."

A wave of excitment came over Jorge's face, "They're bringing out a pinata!?"

Just then their was a loud explosion. A bunch of the vampires ran towards the men's room.

"What was that?" said Jorge.

"Don't worry about it," said Lily, "Come on let's go!"

JTR finally felt like it was safe enough to leave the closet. He stumbled out and ran toward the nearest door. Unfortunatly it was just another closet. He stumbled out of that closet and headed for the next door. This time JTR found himself out on the balcony. JTR turned to go back inside thinking what the hell is a balcony doing on a pyramid.

Jorge and Lily finally found the cells in which the other teams were being held. They rushed the one gaurd and Lily drove the pyramid paper weight into his heart.

"Boy am I glad to see you!" said Tom, "Where's JTR, Cason, and RJ?"

"And Kim?" added Guy Taylor.

"Kim is stuck up in the ball room," answered Jorge with a giggle, "Don't know where the rest of them are."

Lily yanked the keys away from the gaurd, "We'll find them soon enough."

JTR leapt out into the hallway. No one was anywhere to be seen. As a matter of fact there was no life anywhere. He assumed the party was going on on another floor. He ran down the hall untill he came to a starewell. The sign read "Starewell #7- Kitchen, Pool Hall, Treasure Room."

"Hmm," said JTR to himself, "Better find the next starewell." He began to go on when his eyes fell on a big silver tray. He glanced from the tray to the starewell and back.

"No," he mumbled, "I shouldn't." But he thought about how fun reackless abandonment could be.

"Aw hell," he whispered, "When am I gonna be here again?"

"Alright!" said Charles, "Anson, Goodyn, Jorge, Tom, and Oaky... you're with me!"

All the teams had gathered around Charles, Lily, and Jorge. David Owens and Jerry Adonis stepped out of their cell as Brian Hassett let them out.

"Sounds good," said Adonis, "Everyone else, let's go get the vehicles."

"Right," added Charles, "And make sure and leave yourselves time to set up a dramatic entrance."

"So what's the plan?" asked Anson as the others left. Charles gave a smirk and reached into his pocket. He pulled out 30 grenades, 2 handguns, a rifle, a shotgun, 5 bazookas, 3 machine guns, and 8 police dogs.

"Wow," said Tom as Charles handed him a hand gun. Mustard jumped up on his shoulder an snatched the gun away.

Charles cocked his rifle and said, "Let's go."

The six of them burst into the men's room guns blazing. They popped off a couple dozen rounds screaming at the top of their lungs. When the smoke cleared they realized they had caught the two vampire's in the men's room with their pants down.

"Oops," said Jorge, "I guess they're back up in the ball room now."

Cason and Jimbob sat in the treasure room being very quiet. A little while ago Cason had reached into the Jimbob box and pulled out Jimbob. Unfortunatly just as they were about to go find the others one of the Lilu had burst in and stopped them.

Jimbob sat there comunicating telepathically with Cason. He told her he was about to take care of the gaurd. Cason of course couldn't hear him. Jimbob suddenly made one of his strands of hair grow and slink out the door. His hair choked out the gaurd and snapped back.

Cason and Jimbob ran out of the treasure romm and came face to face with Madam Lilith, Inge, and 50 other vampires.

Cason turned to Jimbob and said, "You ready to do this?"

Jimbob smiled and said, "Okay!"

Suddenlly the Mortal Kombat music kicked up and Cason raised her hand in the sky. There was a bolt of lightning and a shotgun appeared in her hand. Jimbob whipped his head around as his hairs grew out and started writhing like snakes. Cason and Jimbob stared right at the 50 vampires lead by Lilith and Inge.

There was a giddy pause as everyone waited for the oncoming fray. Then Cason raised up her shot gun and began firing madly. Jimbob ran wildly into the group slinging around his dread locks of doom. Lilith reached out and caught Jimbob's hair. She then used his hair to hog tie him.

Cason fired madly as the Lilu came at her in waves. Suddenly she turned right to fire and right there was Inge. Cason started to fire but Inge snatched the gun away and hit Cason over the head. She went down like a tone of bricks.

Guy and Girl Taylor lead teams 2XW, Save the Silence, Save the Trees, and Arizona Heart back to the parking deck. The two gaurds Lily had taken out were still down.

"Okay guy's," said Lily, "We gotta get back in there and get our buddies out!"

"Yea," said Guy Taylor, "By the way does anyone know what happened to Kim, JTR, Cason, Jimbob, or RJ."

"Cason allowed herself to get caught," said Amos, "She's probably got Jimbob with her by now. I haven't seen JTR, Kim, or RJ since we tried to sneak in."

"Hey!" yelled David Owens, "Come on Jerry let's go!"

They all turned to look in Owens direction. Owens, Stingray, Savage, and Bryars were climbing into the Pikachu Bug.

"What are you doing?" said Jerry.

"We're getting the hell outta here!" said Stingray.

"What do you mean," replied Lily, "We've gotta stop Lilith and save the world."

"That's not our problem," said Owens, "We're getting the hell out of here... NOW!"

"What about the others," argued Girl Taylor.

"Yea," added Guy Taylor, "Charles, Anson, Goodyn, Oaky, Tom, JTR, Jorge, Cason, RJ, Jimbob, Mustard, and Kim are still in there!"

"Come on Stingray," said Brian, "We can't just leave them in there."

There was a brief pause. Owens and Stingray glanced at each other with a tiny bit of gilt.

"Jerry," said Stingray, "Get... in... the car..."

Jerry began to speak, "But-"

"Jerry!" yelled Owens, "Let's go!"

Jerry clinched his jaw then slowly moved toward his team. 2XW loaded up and sped out across the desert.

"Okay," said Lily, "Minor set back... anyone got any ideas?"

Suddenly there was a rustling coming from Latisha. Everyone turned toward Latisha. They watched as RJ stepped out holding Brian's time turner, the Vawoomp gun, and a box that read Power of the Sun.

Charles, Anson, Goodyn, Tom, Jorge, and Oaky stood in the bathroom reloading.

"Good news is we seem to have actually killed these two guys," said Tom.

"Yea," added Jorge, "Now let's get the rest of them."

"You guys go on," said Charles, "I gotta... I gotta pee."

"Okay," said Jorge, "Oaky, hang out here with Charles just in case."

".............." said Oaky.

"Yea," said Jorge, "That's cool."

And with that Tom, Anson, Goodyn, and Jorge left. Charles nodded at Oaky and stepped into a stall.

He looked down at the toilet as the doctor's voice ran through his head, “You’ve got vasovagal syncope.”

Charles breathed a heavy sigh and reached for his zipper.

"Jimbob, dear," said Lilith, "I'll see you in the ball room," she turned to the Lilu, "Take him up to the ball room and put him in the thrown," she then turned to Cason, "And you... you'll make a nice pre-dinner snack for our guests."

Cason stuck her tounge out at Lilith.

"Charming," said Lilith, "Take her away. I'll be up in a moment."

The Lilu and Inge began to march Cason toward the ballroom starewell. As they were passing the Treasure Room starewell they heard a loud noise.

"What was that," said one of the Lilu.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!!!!" came the noise again.

"That sounds like JTR," said Cason. They all turned toward the starewell. Suddenly JTR came flying down the starewell on a big silver tray.

"WOOOOOHOOOHOOOO!!!!!" yelled JTR as he sped down the stares.

"Uh oh," whispered Inge. JTR slamed into the group like a rouge bowling ball. JTR leapt up as Cason scrambled to her feet.

"JTR!" yelled Cason.

"Cason!?" said JTR, "Uh... I wasn't horsin' around... I promise!"

"Don't worry about it!" said Cason, "Run!"

The two of them took off.

"Okay guys!" yelled Jorge, "Let's GO GO GO!"

Jorge led Tom, Anson, and Goodyn through the halls right toward the ball room.

"Not much further," he said, "Just right around this corner!"

"Where are we runing to?" yelled JTR.

"I don't know!" answered Cason, "But I think the exit is just right around this corner!"

Cason, and JTR sped around the corner and crashed right into Jorge, Tom, Anson, and Goodyn. They lay there looking up at the ceiling when Inge appeared.

"Nice try," said Inge.

"Something's wrong," said Lily as she hung up her phone, "The I.B.N.I. isn't answering."

"You think the vampires got to them," asked Amos.

"I don't know," replied Lily.

"No time to worry about that now," said RJ as he cocked the Vawoomp gun, "We gotta stick to what we do best... blowin' stuff up."

Oaky had been waiting for Charles to come out of the stall for quite some time now. He was begining to become impatient.

"................." yelled Oaky. But Charles didn't respond. Something was definatly wrong. Oaky was just about to go check on Charles when he heard something outside. Someone was about to come into the restroom. Oaky raised up his gun.

RJ stepped into the bathroom, "Oaky! Am I glad to see you!"

"........................" said Oaky.

"Oh," responded RJ, "I've been hiding in the laundry room. There's crazy stuff going on in the halls. What are you doing?"

"................." responded Oaky, ".................................................................................................................................."

"Okay," replied RJ, "Well I'll go see if I can find them. But what if they've already left by the time I get up there?"

"....................................................."

"A time turner? What's a time turner?"

"..........................................................."

"Oh," said RJ, "Neat!" RJ turned and ran out of the Men's Room. Just as RJ left the door to the stall swung open. Charles stepped out looking groggy.

"Eh," he said rubbing his forhead, "What happened? Did I pass out again?"

Jimbob sat on his thrown watching the ball room dancers and party goers. He scanned the room and his eyes fell on a statue that looked oddly familiar. Then it dawned on him.

"Hey Kim!" yelled Jimbob waving at Kim. Two of the vampires were watching Jimbob from across the room.

"Wow," said one of them, "That's our new king? He's talking to a human statue..."

Just then the Lilu marched JTR, Cason, Jorge, Tom, Anson, and Goodyn into the ball room. They took them across the room to the dinner table. They stood their for a few minutes before the lights dimmed and a loud voice sounded out.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Vampires and Lilu! Please stand for the Queen of all Demons! The Hand of Inanna! Madem Lilith!"

All the Vampires stood up as Lilith entered.

Jimbob stood up too, "Woohoo! Yea! Go Lilith! Roll Tide!"

The room fell silent. Everyone looked up at Jimbob.

"War Eagle!" came a voice from somewhere across the room.

RJ made it to the parking deck and found the other racers were nowhere to be seen. He started to go to Latisha to get his gun when he had a thought.

"I don't wanna go back in there alone," he said to himself, "It's frightening."

But then he remembered what Oaky had said. So he stepped over to team Arizona Heart's 4Runner. Sure enough he found the time turner. He then sped over to Latisha where he scooped up his Vawoomp gun. Suddenly his eyes fell on the box that said Power of the Sun. He snatched that up too.

"Okay," he said, "Thirty turns outta do it."

He turned the time turner and was whisped away. When he looked up he was surrounded by Egyption men with whips and slaves hauling large rocks.

"Oops," said RJ as they all stopped to stare at him, "My bad."

He turned the time turner again and was whisped away back to Latisha. He stepped out of Latisha and came face to face with the other racers.

"Hey guys!" he said.

"Well," said Jorge, "What now?"

"Good question," answered Cason. Lilith had taken her place on the grand thrown next to Jimbob. Inge was lurking around the ball room with a few of the Lilu. They apparently knew about the other team members had escaped and were probably coming back.

"We're gonna need a miricle," said JTR.

The Pikachu Bug came screeching to a hault. Owens, Stingray, Jerry, and Bryars were jarred.

"Savage!" yelled Stingray, "What the hell was that?"

"We shouldn't have just left them back there," said Savage.

"Keep going," said Stingray.

"No," replied Savage, "we've got to go back."

"He's right," added Jerry.

"Look," said Owens, "They haven't needed our help with any of their other little adventures in this race so I'm sure they can handle this on their own."

"That's stupid," said Jerry, "Quit being a baby and let's turn this car around."

"No," said Stingray.

"Yes," said Savage.

Owens sighed, "What do you think Bryars?"

Bryars looked back and forth between Owens and Jerry.

It wouldn't be long now. It was almost time for the feast. JTR and the others were starting to get really nervous. Suddenly Goodyn felt someone tapping his leg. Goodyn looked down and saw one of the members of team Save the Silence hiding under the table. Goodyn looked around to see if anyone was watching. No one was watching so he ducked under the table.

"Hey," said Goodyn, "What's the plan?"

The Save the Silence team member mimed that RJ and Lily were about to bust in with the Vawoomp gun and start blowing away vampires. It took a minute but Goodyn got the message.

Goodyn and the Silence member got out from under the table. Goodyn nudged JTR.

"Hey," said Goodyn, "RJ and the others are about to burst in here with the Vawoomp gun, pass it down."

JTR whispered into Tom's ear who whispered to Anson who whispered to Jorge who whispered to Cason.

Cason gave Jorge a confused look, "What? TJ and the truckers are out to brush in the very blue sun."

Jorge shrugged, "That's what Anson said..."

"No," whispered Anson, "I said RJ and the tuckers are about to brush in the Cinnabunn."

"What?" said Jorge and Cason.

Just then there was a loud explosion as the far wall burst into pieces. When the smoke cleared RJ stood there with the Vawoomp gun.

"Oh," said Jorge and Cason, "RJ and the others are coming with the Vawoomp gun."

"Nobody move or Lilith gets it," yelled Lily.

"Yea!" yelled RJ, "What she said!"

Inge and a few of the Lilu moved in towards RJ. RJ turned toward them and fired. The Lilu were blown to bits and Inge was knocked silly.

"Alright," said Cason, "Looks like the shoe is on the other foot, Lilith!"

Just then the other wall burst in as a Pikachu Bug came rushing into the room right towards RJ. RJ leapt forward to avoid getting hit.

The Vawoomp gun hit the ground and slid across the floor and under the DJ's booth. The Pikachu Bug slid to a stop and team 2XW leapt out.

"We're here!" yelled Jerry. The Lilu moved in to grab everyone. As the Lilu took down team 2XW, RJ and the others, JTR, Cason, and Jorge shot towards the thrown. Lilith waved her hand and the three of them hit the ground.

"Ouch," said JTR.

"Eh," said Cason, "I can't move."

"Me neither," said Jorge.

"Well," said Lilith, "I am impressed... You all saved Jimbob and escaped. Then you were recaptured. Then you staged an assault that took us all by surprise, only to be caught yet again." The ball room erupted in laughter.

JTR giggled, "It is a little funny."

"Yea," agreed Jorge, "It is."

"Okay," said Lilith, "We've waited long enough. Who's hungry?"

Jimbob jumped up, "OH OH! I AM!"

"Shut up Jimbob!" yelled RJ.

"No one will be eatin' anyone," came a voice.

Lilith turned around to find Charles standing there with a gun pointed at her.

Lilith began to laugh, "And what is it you plan on doing? You're standing before the most powerful demon to ever walk the earth."

"Hmm," said Charles, "Good question..." Charles glanced around the room until his eyes fell on the box labled Power of the Sun, "Well, I was thinking about opening that Sun box over there."

Lilith's laughter continued, "And how will you do that?"

"Like this," said Charles, "NOW!"

Oaky came flying out of nowhere and knocked the Sun box out of the Lilu's hand. The box went flying through the air. Charles ran to catch the box. Lilith waved her hand and Charles hit the ground. Inge stepped over to catch the box.

"Hey what's that!" yelled Tom. When the Lilu gaurding him looked he pushed him and ran. Tom tackled Inge and the box glanced off her fingers. The Save the Silence member jumped up and caught the box. Inge tossed Tom aside and leapt at the Silence member. She knocked him down and the box went sliding across the floor coming to a rest at the base of Kim's statue stand.

"Okay," yelled Lilith, "That is enough! Kill Them!"

"Not today!" came a female voice. Everyone turned to see Kim holding the box. She shook the flour off and reached to open the box.

"NO!" yelled Lilith.

Kim opened the box.

All the vampires gasped, but then they noticed nothing was happening. Kim looked down at the box and saw nothing inside, she reached in and only found sand. Inge and Lilith started to laugh.

“If that was your last hope, I guess the race is over,” chuckled Lilith. Suddenly they heard some noise.

“Is that birds?” asked Inge as she handed the box to Lilith. Then some birds flew out of the box and started circling the vampires and the teams. The last to fly out was a rooster. The vampires and the teams watched them very confusingly.

Charles blurted out, “Great the box gave us birds!” the birds started to chirp, “and now they are making all this god awful racket!”

Skycam squealed, “They’re so pretty.” Just then the rooster crowed, Lilith sensing something was about to go wrong, threw the box to Inge and told her to put the lid back on. Inge looked down and was instantly mesmerized by what was in the box.

“It’s beautiful!” Inge said as the first ray of light started to seep out.

“Everybody put on your sunglasses!” shouted Jimbob. Then the room started to fill with light the vampires all screamed, Inge burst into flames and exploded. The rest of the vampires were running trying to escape but the light from the box was to fast for them and they met the same fate as Inge.

Somebody yelled out, “Just keep your eyes shut!”

After a few minutes the light finally faded away. The teams looked around for any signs of the vampires, but could find none.

“You know what the one good thing we got out of this was?” said JTR.

RJ and Skycam blurted out, “We all got good tans?”

“No, that is a plus but no. No you see now we realize that magical boxes are usefull, and that if we ever find one again we should pick it up no matter what it says.”

“What if one says plot hole again?” asked Jorge.

“Oh, then don’t open that one.” replied JTR.

As they were walking out JTR asked Lily, “So what happened to Lilith?”

“She isn’t a vampire so sunlight won't kill her, I'm not really sure where she went,” said Lilly.

The rest of the teams were finding their cars, Charles was dragging Jimbob and Skycam away from trying to wear some ancient pharaoh’s headdress. Most of them all shook hands and thanked one another for trying to save them.

Lilly had finally got a hold of the IBNI and they arraigned for rafts to take the teams' vehicles on their journey down the Nile.

“So I guess this is good bye?” JTR said to Lilly as he was getting into Latisha.

“I'd like to think of it as see you later,” said Lilly, “now go on and win your race. We’ll clean up here.”

JTR then asked, “Hey who's gonna be handling this when we're gone?”

Lilly smiled and said, “Top men.”

JTR asked “Who?”

“Agent Rameriez, and myself actually, why?”

JTR winked and said, “No reason... I was just hoping you would say ‘top men’ again.”

A confused Lilly said, “Ok?”

JTR got in to Latisha and they drove off towards the launch point for their raft.

It was the first time in a long time that any of the teams had had an opportunity to just relax. However they had just defeated an army of vampires so they felt they deserved to celebrate.

“Hey Charles!” yelled JTR.

Charles turned to look at JTR who was standing on a raft off to his left.

“Catch this rope!” he yelled again. Charles held out his hands ready for the toss. JTR twirled the rope around his head a few times then let it fly. It was a good toss that was headed straight for Charles. Then suddenly right before it reached Charles’ hands it stopped and fell into the water.

Charles who had leaned forward to catch it also tumbled into the water.

“Big mean scary man overboard!” screeched Jimbob at the top of his lungs.

Anson and Goodyn scrambled out onto the deck with a life preserver. Goodyn took aim and launched it towards Charles. It landed on its mark right over Charles’ head. Charles pulled his arms through the hole to stay afloat.

“Nice throw Goodyn,” said Anson, “But there is just one problem. You did not attach a rope to it so that we can pull him in!”

“Oh, Oops,” was all Goodyn could say as they watched Charles fall further and further behind. Luckily when Charles fell in the water he had managed to find the rope that JTR had thrown originally. Plus Team T&T’s raft was a little behind so they were slowing down to pick up Charles.

Before long Charles was on Team T&T’s raft and they were pulling up next to Team Kittens’ raft. Kim tied the two rafts together real tight.

“Nice catch Charles. I’m gonna guess you learned to do that while you were a running back for LSU?” snorted Jorge.

Cason and Kim snickered at this comment. JTR smiled but tried to hide it.

RJ just let out a monstrous laugh and yelled, “Slap hands on that one!”

“Slap Hands?” asked Jorge.

“Oh oh yeah right, uh I believe it is uh, high five?”

“Oh, yes,” said Jorge. They exchanged a high five and laughed.

Charles just rolled his eyes and pulled the towel that was wrapped around his shoulders tighter. Within a few minutes Teams 2XW, Sheriff’s Car, and Arizona Heart were also tied to Team Kittens’ raft. As Teams Save the Trees and Save the Silence where being hauled in to join the barge, Tom began setting up a sound system to play music. Brian Hassett walked over to Tom as he was finishing up.

Brian held out his dark blue i-pod to Tom, “Um, well I’ve got some pretty good songs on here… if you want to use this for music.”

Tom took the i-pod and plugged it in. Akon came over the speakers.

“I wanna make love right now na na!” sang Guy Taylor.

“Well they seem to like it,” observed Tom as others sang along and started dancing. David Owens put a large punch bowl on a table with all the foods others had provided. He poured the punch into the bowl but before he walked away Mike Savage walked up behind him and added his own extra ingredient.

“Now it will be a good party!” he said then walked away.

RJ and Skycam twirled around the dance floor as Pappa Roach blared over the stereo. JTR went to get more punch for the fifth time already. He filled three cups and returned to where he was standing with Cason and Jerry Adonis. He handed Cason and Jerry both a cup then took a big swallow of his own.

“This punch is really good! Why is it so good?”

Cason and Jerry looked at eachother and smiled.

“Punch is always good when you’re with friends,” replied Cason.

The party had been going on for a couple of hours when Brian jumped up, “Hey hey guys! Lets do Karaoke! And, and uh, Tom your gonna go first!”

“What? No someone else needs to go first!” he replied.

Brian waved his hand, “Na you can do it,” Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out a photograph, “you did so well last time.”

He turned the picture around and to everyone’s amazement it was a picture of Tom dressed in drag on a stage with a microphone. There were two other men in the photo also dressed in drag standing on either side of him obviously singing backup.

Brian raised his eyebrow and asked, “Do you wanna sing ‘I am every woman’ again?”

Everyone laughed. Tom gave in and got up and sang. It was a very fun night, but everyones favorite preformance by far was Jimbob singing, “My Ding-a-ling.”

The next morning JTR walked to the front of the barge where Jorge was standing.

“What do you think?” JTR asked.

“I think we are traveling faster all tied together like this. We made a lot of progress last night.”