Well,
in the weeks to come JTR and gang had to figure out what exactly they might need in the race. First off what vehicle
to take, well first they tried to fit everyone into JTR’s truck, that didn’t work. So next they tried RJ’s
car, "Henry", but when they went to get it Skycam said she sold the tires, engine, doors, windows, and most of the essential
stuff to drive the car, so that idea is definitely out of the question. The next thing they try is they ask Lacey for her
truck, she tells them she needs it, so no luck there. They almost were going to use the EATV, but it had a broken tale light.
So Cason called in a few favorers and what do you know a yellow stretch hummer with a white roof pulled up, the first words
out of everyone’s mouth was “Sweet.” So they were on their way to B-ham.
Now for the 2XW guys, well at
first no one could quite get along, they had a small wrestling match and their feuds settled. Then they decided on a car,
which was much easier than the experience crews deciding. They stole/borrowed a Cadillac Escalade. They figured if your going
to be crammed together why not be crammed in style. The 2XW guys set out for B-Ham, with Borden spouting out random wrestling
facts.
Meanwhile at Skywalker Ranch:
George Lucas and Steven Spielberg have devised plans to thwart each team, Lucas feels that he has made a mistake, especially
since he hasn’t milked the race for all its worth, so he and Spielberg have started pulling out things from THE giant
warehouse, in hopes of making the race interesting.
Also some others in the Experiance
universe, has noticed the race. Namely Sheriff Charles, and his deputies. He wants to get a new sheriff mobile. To
get the right amount of deputies he deputizes two people, Jimbob, and a cute mexibrokian named Aja El Rojo...
Teams Save the Kittens, 2XW Reunion, and Sheriff's Car Fund head for Birmingham where the race will start.
There is a pre-race party at the Gallaria where all teams will have to check in and have a good time. Team Sheriff's
Car Fund shows up just before Team Save the Kittens, and Team 2XW Reunion brings up the rear. When they get there, they
discover that a new Team has entered the race. No one knows anything about this team except they are all dressed in
black, wear sunglasses, and call themselves Team MIB.
When JTR, RJ, Tom, Cason, and Jorge got to the party they all split up to take care of their own business.
Cason started moving around the party talking to everyone. RJ instantly got distracted by an ice sculpture in the shape
of a moose, in the middle of the food table. JTR and Jorge decided to have a little fun annoying Sheriff Charles and
his deputies.
Meanwhile Tom stayed at the entrance to the Gallaria to watch the scene that was unfolding at the sign in table. See,
the team that was right in front of Team 2XW Reunion at the sign in table was Team Save the Trees. David Owens was getting
angry because the leader of Team Save the Trees, a 2 by 4 with a smiley face, wasn't signing in fast enough. Actually
he didn't seem to be signing in at all. But the Team behind Team 2XW Reunion, Team Save the Silence, was trying to calm
everyone using sign language. Cason had to step out of a conversation where she was braging about how Latisha
(the yellow stretch Hummer) would come when she was called to look at the commotion. Even RJ, JTR, and Jorge found
that the event at the sign in table was more interesting that what they were currently doing. They all came up beside Tom
as tensions started to peak.
As the team stood in a gaze they couldn't believe the series of events that unfolded before their eyes.
David Owens, increasingly frustrated with the leader of Team Save the Trees, began running around in circles screaming and
pulling out his hair.
"What is taking so loooong?!" he exclaimed. "You take the pen, you sign your name, and you get out of my way!
Then I sign, then they sign, them those, thy, thou, and everyone siiiiiiiiigns!" he said barely finishing his breath.
The leader of Save the Trees, Woody as was explained on his name tag, was as stiff as a board with shock. As he stood
there he looked deep into David Owens eyes and said,".............." A thunderous silence beset the crowd, as many spectators
had grown by this point, and Owens crashed to his knees.
"Man I didn't know you couldn't read. Gee whiz I feel down-right rotten." Luckily the We Teach Trees to Read Team
were walking by and helped Woody and the rest of teams get the sign-in process moving.
With
the commotion ended the Save the Kittens Team dispursed about basically to what they were doing before the whole thing started.
JTR and Jorge finally caught up with Sheriff Charles at the buffet table, who ironically was helping himself to one pig in
a blanket after another.
"Howdy there Sherrif Porky-I mean Charles. Hehehe," JTR said.
"Well, a-well JTR what a co-winky-dink meetin you here. Look like now not only will I have out-run ya, bein' as I was
a runnin-back for LSU and all, but I'll have out-raced ya too. Hee heee heee heee, " he chuckled as he wiped piggy juice from
his mouth.
"So you think you're gonna beat us, eh?"
"Yeah you think you're gonna beat us? HAHAHA,"Jorge fell to the floor laughing.
"Yeah you laugh now Jorge, but wait til you see my new car I'm racin' with, then we'll see who's laughin then." This intrigued
JTR and he thought to himself, ".............cheese."
"So Sherrif
you must tell me about this new car."
"Oh it's to die for... uhhrm... I
mean well why should I tell you? Besides I haven't really got it yet. That's why I'm runnin' this race. I'mma get me one of
dem der Trans Ams like in dat der 'Smokey and the Bandit' and after that I'm gon be all like bbbbrrrrraaaaaaaaaaanh....hehe...shoot.
Then I'm gon get it all raced up like the Mystery Machine and be some hot stuff!" With that said the lights dimmed and the
room's attention was drawn toward the gigantic stage that came walking in. Atop this mighty beast was none other than
Lucas and Spielberg themselves.
"Attention! Attention! Lend me your
ears. For Master Spielberg and I thought long we have. New news for you we have. A special treat all for
you we have. Decided we have a special celebrity first to start the race. I give you before further adue guest special."
The lights brightened and Christopher Walken came waltzin in.
Christopher Walken gave quite an interesting
speech about how racing for charity was a very noble sport. However everyone there lost interest because it took him
so long to give the speech. Most everyone couldn't get past the fact that the stage itself had walked into the building.
As everyone was falling asleep from Walken's speech
two late arival teams showed up. Team Arizona Heart Foundation had joined the
race because of the fact that it was shrinking in a hurry and Team American
Textile History Museum was drowning in administrative costs. They slinked in and settled in the back.
When Walken finished his speech the racers roared with
excitment. Lucas then anounced the big moment had come. The racers all headed for their vehicles. Team Save
the Kittens boarded Latisha, and Team 2XW hopped in the Escalade. Sheriff Charles' team had already lost Jimbob however.
Christopher Walken walked out in the middle of the race
track and stood at the ready. At this point Sheriff Charles and his deputies found Jimbob in the arcade playing the
NASCAR game. When they tryed to pull him away he argued that they were gonna lose the race. So Aja "El Rojo" whacked
him over the head and they started to carry him back to the car.
Team Kittens was right next to Team 2XW. Cason had
oppted to drive first and she shot a glance in 2XW's direction meeting eyes with David Owens who was driving for 2XW first.
Walken raised a gun to the sky, and after a long minute fired. Latisha, and the Escalade peeled out.
The other teams hadden't yet started their engines because no one had said, "Gentlemen Start your Engines!" So they
got started a little late.
Sheriff Charles and crew showed up just as Team Save the
Trees' box car was disapearing around the bend. They threw Jimbob in to their race car, which was an orange 1947
Chevrolet Deluxe with 02 painted on the sides and a huge alabama flag on the top. Finally Team Sheriff's Car Fund
peeled off and the race was on!
Day
One: For the first few hours or so Team 2XW and team Save the Kittens are neck and neck, but soon both teams realize that
there really isn't a point seeing as how they are nowhere near the end. Thankfully they are mostly on the interstate,
so both either swerve or just keep rolling straight. Most of the other teams are doing pretty much the same. Cason
eventually realizes she can use Latisha’s size to an advantage, so while the teams are in heavy traffic Cason forces
2XW’s Escalade onto an exit ramp; it seems that they will be trying to get out of some downtown area for a bit.
The day went on with them switching drivers every so often. There was a brief scare when RJ tried to drive on the left
side of the road but nothing much else. Teams MIB, Sheriff’s car fund, Silence, Save the trees, AHF(Arizona heart
foundation), and ATHM( American Textile history Museum) all have done pretty much the same thing. Eventually all the
teams find a hotel, or a parking lot to sleep in.
Day 2: Team 2xw has been driving all night, in hopes of making up the time. Most of the teams have no problem
waking up, and starting the new day. The hours go by and each team passes state line after state line. Mostly
monotonous stuff. Essentially most of the teams get to (excluding Team Sheriff’s car who had to track down Aja
“El Rojo” when she chased after a magical street vender who sold her a bad rabbits foot) the U.S. border.
Day 3: Team Save the kittens has gotten chains for their tires and plenty of cold weather gear, thanks
to the urgings, and loud shouts of RJ. Most of the other teams, except for team 2XW, don’t know why it seems beautiful
and warm. But at any rate the teams enter Canada, and soon they get out of the habitable areas, and instantly find themselves
in the Canada that RJ always talks about. It seems that there is a strange border that is nice and warm on one side,
and then barren winter wasteland on the other. Team STK(save the kittens) drive straight in, followed by 2xw, since
they had already prepared for this. This line is known as “the point of you shouldn’t go there” the
other teams, realizing this, had to sit thru a few hours of winterizing, mainly because RJ threatened to throw a few Go away
can at them if they didn’t slow down the other teams. The trek thru Canada was mostly boring, seeing as there
wasn’t anything to see, except for the occasional Moose, or Yak. Eventually Team Save the Kittens pulled into
the 1st checkpoint of Moosonee, Canada. Team Sheriff’s car somehow comes in second, then following them Team 2XW.
Our three teams get some well deserved rest, while some of the others pull in town.
Day 4: Most of the teams set out by morning, Team Save the Trees pulls into town just as everyone else is getting ready
to leave, but their exhausted and figure that it’s a big world and they’ll catch up. A few teams stay behind
because they don’t want to wake up. So for now Teams STK, Sheriff’s car, 2XW, MIB, and ATH are off, the
others are staying behind for some rest.
Not long after Team Save the Trees pulls in, Team We Teach Trees to Read comes flying in. They don't want
to be any farther behind so they keep right on truckin'. The next checkpoint is Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories
of Canada. Our teams have some really tough territory to cross. All of the teams are making slow but forward progress.
Team STK, 2XW, and MIB try to make a three wide race down a straight away and when they got to the turn at the end, no one
could turn and they all wound up in a big snow bank. Sheriff’s car, ATH, and Team We Teach Trees to Read breeze
right on by. Unfortunately, they all come up on a snowplow that has the road totally blocked which slows them down until
the others can catch up. When the snowplow pulls away, they all take off like a heard of wild elephants. Team
We Teach Trees to Read's driver is so tired, he dozes off to sleep and bumps into 2XW which causes a chain reaction of cars
going everywhere. As it turns out, they are right at the next check point and they all get there spinning and going
every which direction. No one knows who got there first because of the commotion that was going on.
Well because of the wreck "The Authorities" in Yellowknife decided to stop everyone at the second checkpoint
for the night. All the racers were upset that they had to stop, but they enjoyed the break. That night "The Authorities"
decided to host a convention for the racers to show them exactly why they had stopped them. That afternoon, before the
convention, everyone sat around reparing their cars and getting ready for the next day when the race would start again.
Sheriff Charles was walking across the parking lot, were everyone had parked, after arguing with "The Authorities" over whether
or not they had the authority to stop the racers. As he walked back to the Chevy Deluxe he observed the other racers.
Team MIB was standing in a huddle around their car with their hands to their ears, and Team Save the Trees was just laying
around resting while listening to Team We Teach Trees to Read, read to them. Team Save the Silence was sitting in a
semi-circle with the leader in the middle, they seemed to be meditating.
Team American Textile History Museum and Team Arizona Heart Foundation, who had just arrived, sat around a camp fire listening
to a drunk tell about Yellowknife. Sheriff Charles listened for a moment,
"Did jew guys know at' Yellowknife is tha capital of the Northwest Territories and tha Diamond Capital of North America, A?
Is bilt' on gold it tis, with tha tunnels of gold mines fer under tha streets, A. It's a city were' tha streets is paved
in gold, A!" Sheriff shook his head and went on towards his team.
But before he made it that far, he saw deputies Anson and Goodyn were lying on the ground handcuffed, gagged,
and blindfolded near TSK's spot. He ran up to them and asked Cason, who was rubbing Latisha's hood, "What happened here?"
Cason told him that TSK was minding their own business when 2XW attacked them. Then Sheriff's Car came to break up the
fight.
"I guess," finnished Cason, "that the 2XW folks cuffed up Anson and Goodyn there. Jimbob went to get his referee shirt,
and Aja, 'El Rojo' chased everyone else away." Sheriff Charles thought about it for a minute then, leaving Anson and
Goodyn where they were, ran in the direction Cason Pointed him in. Cason went on rubbing Latisha. After a minute
JTR, RJ, Jorge, and Tom came out of Latisha laughing.
"You are a pretty good lier!" said JTR.
Tom caught his breath, "Yeah! My plan worked, Sheriff will slow himself and 2XW down for a while! Let's hurry up and toss
Anson and Goodyn back before Charles finds out." They threw the deputies in the back of the Chevy Deluxe and went to
"The Authorities" Convention. It wasn't anything exciting just a convention on safe driving habits.
The next morning all the cars lined up at the starting line. Including Sheriff's Car and 2XW. They were angry
and tired after trying to sort out all of the confusion last night. "The Authorities" walked out into the middle of
the road with a flag. He held it up but before dropping it he narrowed his eyes and said, "Remember drive carefully,
because you never know who is watching!" He dropped the flag and again only 2XW, STK, and this time Sheriff's Car Peeled
out.
They were racing down the road towards Nome, Alaska. JTR thought that the best way to get to Nome would
be in a straight line. But RJ suggested that they make more of a curved course towards Nome so that Latisha would not
freeze befor they got out of Canada. JTR didn't understand but he agreed and turned on a less direct path to Nome.
While TSK was setting a course, 2XW and Sheriff's Car got ahead, so they didn't notice when TSK turned off road. For
three days Sheriff's Car and 2XW played road rage with their Mario Cart weapons that they had installed into their cars.
They totally took out any car in the race or not along the way. They also got pulled over multiple times by "The Authorities."
Sheriff lost time when he got pulled over because he liked to argue about Authority. Still he always managed to
catch up when 2XW got pulled over. All the rest of the teams held back a little behind 2XW and Sheriff's Car hoping
that sooner or later they would run out of ammo.
Finally one day 2XW and Sheriff's Car saw something way out in the distance. It was Nome! But wait! They noticed that
Latisha was already there. They thought they had lost TSK and were now in shock. Unfortunatly before they recovered
the other racers came up from behind. They pulled out way in front of the two teams and the race was on to be the second
team to pull into Nome. Well all that is except Arizona Heart, they were not used to the cold and some of their members
were frozen on the second day out. They had to stop to defrost their teammates. The racers are comming close to
Nome now.
As the racers all raced to the race's third race checkpoint they were caught off guard by a startling discovery.
TSK, who had already been at Nome for sometime now, thanks to RJ's delightful navigational skills, had scattered hobos along
the road which they had aquired from a hobo trader. Each hobo was holding a spare change sign and kept jumping in front
of the racers as they came by. Traffic came to a grinding halt. TSK could see this happening from Nome and began
to laugh hysterically. TSK figured they would at least wait for one the teams to get there before they would start the
next leg of the race, although the team that crossed was not the team they expected.
"What's that in the air up there?" asked Jorge.
"Hmm I think it's a flying moose," RJ answered.
"No no it's a car being carried by a cloud!" exclaimed Cason.
"I think I'm gonna stick with moose," said RJ. In fact though it was a car, a VW microbus to be exact, a white VW microbus
to be more exact, a white VW microbus hanging on a fishing pole being carried by a little orange guy in a cloud to be even
more exact.
The microbus was dropped off right next to TSK and the racers of the bus got out and a thick cloud of smoke
followed him.
"Heeeeey maaaan like is this the next checkpoint?" said by none other than guy Taylor.
"Wait what the heck are you doin here," JTR said. Another member jumped out of the bus.
"This is the next checkpoint riiiiiight." It was none other than girl Taylor.
"Yeah it is but how...why...hmmmm." Apparently girl and guy Taylor were in the race the whole time, but no one could see them
through Canada because their vehicle was as white as snow. They were another one of those late entries into the race.
They had gotten hit with a stray green shell from Sheriff Charles and were brought all the way to the checkpoint by the cloud
guy. Their team, Team Taylor & Taylor, consisted of Taylor & Taylor, an amish mechanic named Amos, and two scarecrows
they had picked up to complete the team named Corn and Cob. They were racing to get their new found scarecrow buddies
brains and their Amish mechanic a yacht.
At this point the rest of teams made it to the next checkpoint and kept right on going. TSK and T&T
were off in a flash behind them. Luckily every single team stopped shortly after Nome for the bering strait wished and
washed before them. Ironically every single person at the exact same time thought, "what to do, what to do?" Many
teams thought they could drive into the water, but it was so cold that the moment it touched their tires their vehicles would
jump back and go "brrrrrrrrr."
Sherrif Charles came up with the bright idea to build a giant slingshot that would sling over the water, but that idea went
kaput very quickly. TSK knew that there was very little hope of any teams getting across and this very little hope rested
in the hands of the only one adapt to this climate...RJ.
RJ walked up the edge of the water and with a mighty "SWOOSH SWOOSH SUPER CHECK!" he hit the water and the ground began to
rumble. All th teams watched as the water became more and more swooshy and parted like the Red Sea. The race was
on again.
The teams raced along the sea floor dodging the typical crustacean and whale and shark and ananananeminane and coral and fish
and sunken ship and Aqua Man and mermaid and squid and such. Surprisingly enough every team made it out without hitting
anything, but they weren't prepared for what Russia'a shores had in store for them.
As each team drove up on shore they began to immediately swirve and be merry and sing songs of laughter and foolishness because
everyone knows as soon as you touch Russian soil you automatically get drunk. They pulled into Provideniya with the
smell of vodka on their breaths and racing on their minds... not a good combination.
The racers have arrived
at Provideniya, the Doorway to the Artic. All the teams, save for American Textile History
and Taylor & Taylor, desided it was best to call it a day in order to ajust to the constant drunkeness they were having
to deal with. ATH and T&T desided stubornly to continue driving.
However the other teams found it very difficult to sober
up. JTR and Jorge got in trouble for peeing on the statue of Vladimir Lenin. Cason Jones and RJ went to the
museum of Chukotka history and culture and laughed histerically at everything they saw. Team 2XW got into an extremely
blotched wrestling match at the Provideniya post office while Borden passed out naked in the streets for lack of ability to
handle drunkeness. He surely would've died but a elderly Yupik woman came along and took him away to her house.
Sheriff Charles and his deputies never actually made it to Provideniya because as soon as they got drunk he had to arest himself
and his team for driving under the influence.
Latisha had been parked down by the bay. Tom had
gotten sick from it all and was laying in the vehicle trying to rest. Suddenly he jumped up and ran outside to throw
up. A Yupik man was walking by and saw Tom throw up.
"You look a little sick there, American." he said with
horrible english. "I know what will fix you!"
Before Tom could ask what, the man pushed him over the
railing into the Provideniya Bay. Tom was sobered up rather quick by the mind numbing water and before the Yupik man
could blink Tom was at his side on the dock.
"See, it helps." said the man. After warming up
and changing cloths, Tom went to round up his team mates. JTR and Jorge were trying to catch airplanes at the Bering
Air field. Cason had talked RJ into going to the movies to see "Closed for Renovations." He threw each of them
into the bay, and quickly escorted them into Latisha to warm them up. There was still a good bit of daylight left so
they decides to make up lost ground.
They traveled a while before coming across American
Textile's vehicle overturned in a ditch. They got out to see if anyone was hurt but no one was there.
All they found was some tire tracks pulling onto the side of the road, a bunch of foot prints walking to the tire tracks,
a huge body imprint where the driver's side of the car that stopped would have been, and a spot where the mystery car peeled
out. A little ways down the road they found another vehicle overturned in the ditch, but again no sign of the team.
After a few days of driving team Kittens arrived at the 5th checkpoint in Petropavlovskkamchatskiy.
Trying to read the name gave them a headache so they stop for the night.
By this time the rest of the teams have left Provideniya.
All of them, that is, except for team 2XW and Sheriff's Car. Charles and his deputies are just arriving there after
getting out of jail, and team 2XW is trying to figure out where Borden has gotten off to.
First
off team 2XW go looking for Borden, they try all the alleys, buildings, and even a few of the outlying areas. They finally
found him zoned out in front of the giant statue of Lenin. They picked him up, stuffed him in and took off. Sadly
they have lost a very large amount of time. The Sheriff basically got out of the car for a bathroom break and left.
All the other teams are almost halfway to checkpoint 5.
Team STK has through a vote decided that the best way to “hop” over the Kuril Islands they should either rent
a boat, or build rafts and put Latisha on them. On a 3 to 5 vote it ends up being to put it on a raft. Cason and
Tom hated this idea, but they had to do it. RJ was supposed to get an engine but he got into a argument with someone
who yelled “Go back to Canada! You mother-Canuker!”
So Rj threw a go-away can at him and yelled back “you go back to the soviet union you communist” this happens
to be fighting words, and actions in this town, so RJ with a good bit of the townsfolk after him, is running flailing his
arms yelling, “go go go.” So Team Kittens is off to a slow start to Tokyo, but their at least safish.
The rest of the teams pull in after briefly after Team STK. Except Sheriff, and 2XW who are now half way
to check point 5. All of the other teams don’t spend any time running around Petropavlovsk-Kamchatski. They
immediately rent boats from some angry captains who are hunting a Canadian and his buddies. In their mad rage the captains’
blaze past Team kittens, and sticking to the rules get out do the “island hop” on at least most of the islands.
Team kittens does the same. 2XW and Sheriffs car get to Petropavlovsk-Kamchatski and find out that not only is the town
almost deserted there is only one boat left, its called “the leaky boat of death” but since they don’t read
Russian they just take the boat out and hope for the best. Before to long the other teams reach Japan and head out for
Tokyo, but on the outlying regions they got stuck in a traffic jam because Godzilla is out rampaging again. Team STK
is slowly drifting past island after island but Japan is in sight. Teams 2XW, and Sheriffs car have managed to use a
large amount of duct tape, and are actually passing Team kittens, they’ve somehow either made great time or team kittens
is really slow. At any rate Cason throws a rope and hooks onto 2XW/Sherrifs cars boat, so they ride in with them. All
three teams have landed on the Japanese mainland, and are hurriedly driving through attempting make up some time.
The other teams actually make it past the traffic jam but then run into some weird robot battle, so they are
stuck again. Aja “el rojo” ends up making the Sheriff stop so she can take in the Japanese culture and swap
magic potions and what not. The rest of the Sheriff’s team is asleep by sleeping potion. It ends up being
a one on one race to check point six, but suddenly Godzilla raises up and obliterates team 2XW’s Escalade. Team
kittens is so in shock that they stop moving altogether, and replay the footage on the camera which happens to be constantly
rolling. They watch it about eight times before they realize that all of the other teams have passed them and have entered
Tokyo.
Jorge popped his head out the window and yelled at team 2XW, “ha ha that was cool” Team 2XW is lucky in the fact
that somehow they have survived the whole incident, but now they can’t enter Tokyo without a car to be in. Team
kittens slowly drive into Tokyo, while also watching the Godzilla footage again and again, and laughing just a little bit.
Team 2XW runs frantically to find a safe place to get away from Godzilla.
Mike yelled at the others, "come over here, I found a safe place here." The others started running towards him but came
to a screeching halt as one of Godzilla's biggest enemies stood up behind Mike. It was Megalon. Team 2XW suddenly
found themselves trapped between Godzilla and Megalon. There was no place to go, no place to hide. They huddled
together, holding hands, and said a desperate prayer. Suddenly, Godzilla and Megalon started walking towards each other.
David said "I can't believe this; I never counted on being killed this way."
Jerry said, "it ain't over till the fat lady sings."
Jason said, "that really helps, we need a plan." Just then, they heard a really loud sound above them.
They looked up to see a really weird looking contraption headed towards them. It was a flying machine of some sort.
Before they knew it, they had been scooped up and were being taken away. They landed in a field beside a junk yard.
They were safe but had no clue who saved them. As they gathered together a short, slim, muscular figure moved towards
them.
Stingray said, "I thought you were dead." All the others looked in awe at the person standing before them.
It was Bruce Lee.
Bruce said, "I have been keeping up with the race. I am a fighter as you are so I came to help when you were in trouble."
He said, "I will help you build a race car from parts here at the junk yard." It didn't take them long but they put
together a car. It was made of parts from 25 different cars and trucks ranging from 1925 to 1985. It didn't look
like much but it was built for speed and could handle any kind of terrain. Bruce wished them well as they loaded up
and then they were on their way.
They made it through Tokyo and headed towards Hiroshima. Bruce gave them a map with shortcuts marked to help them make
up valuable time. They arrived in Hiroshima and discovered that none of the other teams were there. They actually
got there before any of the others. As it turned out, the others took a route through the mountains and ran into a situation
that none of them wanted to talk about when they arrived.
As the other teams arrived in Hiroshima, Team T&T was dealing with their own problems. They had driven
on even though they were drunk. Guy Taylor was driving, and he was following Team ATH. He was so drunk that as
it got darker and darker outside he began to think that Team ATH's tail lights were bugs that he was chasing. When T&T
got really close to ATH's car they got nervous and started to drive faster. Before long They were driving down the road
at 300 mph.
Guy Taylor's eyes narrowed and he whispered to himself, "I'm gonna git ya." He hit the gas and bumped ATH's car.
T&T spun around a few times then rolled over in the ditch. Even this didn't sober up Team T&T. They got
out of the car and looked at it for a minute. It was really quite as all the team members turned and looked at Amos.
Amos shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm amish, what did you think an amish mechanic was?"
Guy Taylor raised his hand, "Oh oh, pick me! Uugh, a mechanic?" Amos rolled his eyes and they began to walk down the
road.
Before long they came up on Team ATH, they had all passed out. They had been robbed too because their wallets were missing.
Team T&T didn't want to carry ATH with them so they decided to leave them in a place where someone would find them.
T&T made a big cage and put Team ATH in it. Then they put them on top of a bill board. After doing this T&T
decide to walk out over the landscape hoping to get picked up by the cloud guy again.
Meanwhile back in Hiroshima Team Kittens was getting ready to drive toward the Korea Strait. Team 2XW had already started
and all the rest of the teams were right on their heels. Cason sat in Latisha thinking to herself.
Then she couldn't hold it in any longer, "What do you think are in those packages we got in the mountains?" Everyone
turned around and stared at her.
Tom spoke for everyone when he said, "I think we just need to forget it ever happened." Team Kittens
drove off in silence.
Team Sheriff's Car was the fourth to arrive at the Korea Strait. But this time they alread knew what they were going
to do. Sheriff Charles rolled down all the windows and yelled, "Okay everybody get ready!" All the members of
his team stuck one arm out the window. Then Charles yelled, "Okay Team take her up!" They all simultaneously started
flapping their arms up and down. The wheels slowly came off the ground and soon Team Sheriff's Car was flying across
the Korea Strait towards Seoul.
"Finally," cheered Sheriff, "we are winning!"
Meanwhile Team T&T had wondered all the way across Russia, still drunk and on foot, and just before they reached the ocean
the cloud guy picked them up and took them back to their car were it was overturned in the ditch. They were back where
they had started. Guy Taylor and Girl Taylor sat down and started rocking back and forth. Corn and Cob looked
at each other with those blank expressions then set to work fixing the car. After about an hour Team T&T were back
on the road. unfortunately they had forgotten all about Team ATH.
The night never ended for ATH. As morning drew the sky stayed black due to a ginormous lightning storm
that blew in overnight. ATH just could not break free from their aluminum cage prison. Suddenly lightning struck
their cage and 1 billion volts were sent through the team. As smoke rose the team found that they were still alive.
They rejoiced in a way only one who has been hit by lightning and lived can rejoice. But unfortunately as they were
rejoicing they were hit by a meteor and out of the race for good.
The race had claimed its first victim. And on a giant computer screen in the Deathstar Lucas and Spielberg watched as
ATH little blip on the map ceased to blink. The only thing to be heard was an eerie giggle from the two men... and oddly
enough,"kooooooo kaaaaaaaa."
Back at the Korea Strait the race was on between kittens and 2XW, they were neck and neck. Somehow, both teams had convinced
the Captain of the Ferry they were on to let them drive. Cason and Savage were locked on each other, they were literally
looking straight at each other while operating boats, determined to be the first one across that watery blue thing in front
of them, but since both teams were riding the same Ferry the ongoing incident was more amusing than progressive.
After they finished Team Kittens went below deck to meet with traders that happen to be crossing. While
down there they happen to stumble by old man sitting on a mat with a sign next him that read, "Got a package and ya' don't
know what's in it? I can tell ya for one low easy payment of $9.99." The group looked at the man and the sign and then
at the man and then at the sign.
He saw and said to them, "Trust me I'm like 102 years old and have had a lot of Christmas's to perfect it." So Team
Kittens handed him the package. He shook it a little this way, a little that way, then he lifted it in the air as if
to try and use the light to look through it. Finally he set it down and looked at them and said, "It's a Canadian.
That'll be $9.99" At that point the team looked around and realized RJ was nowhere to be seen. They opened the
package and out popped RJ.
"Holy moly it was tight in there. That's like the size of a shoebox!" he exclaimed.
"I was wondering why it was so quiet," nipped Cason.
With that ordeal over, night drew in and the teams reached their destination, Seoul, South Korea. They decided
to rest after something like that and seizing the oppurtunity 2XW decided also to take a break. Sheriff Charles landed
shortly after, but the other teams weren't to be seen for another half hour. Everyone then decided to just take it easy
for the night, for a long day was ahead of them.
"Hey ya'll wake up," Sheriff Charles said to his team, "All the other teams are asleep and if we're gon win this race we better
skidaddle. I really want this dang car and ya'll better help me git it or I'll replace ya wit a dang Robotocop thingy
or somethin like dat." The team got up and quietly snuck out and got in the car, but as the deluxe kicked over it made
this horrendous noise that woke up all the other racers. As they scramlbed to get ready the Sheriff was bookin it down
the road. They frantically made they're way across S. Korea with all the teams right on their [BLEEP]. As they
approached the Yellow Sea they began to flap their arms again, but they found it didn't work because of the weird Korean air.
They quickly had to devise another plan.
They decided to rent a flyin dragon from the Rent-a-Dragon shop on the coast and they were off. The other teams happed
upon this odd business venture also and were tight on their trail. Sheriff Charles found that driving a dragon was a
lot like running a ball for LSU and he bobbed and weaved between defensive clouds and windbackers and steadily gained distance
on the oher teams. As he broke free he could see the Shangzone in the distance and streaked across the sky like a guy
riding a dragon. As he came up on the Chinese coast he could see T&T sitting on the beach drinking Mai Tais being
just as merry as they could be.
However, when they saw a massive dragon
coming out of the clouds carrying an orange '47 Chevy Deluxe they scrambled back into their own vehicle. The dragon
set Sheriff Charles' Team down and they found themselves neck and neck with them T&T.
"This here's the Elmore-County Mounty, come in T&T."
Sheriff Charles said into his CB Radio. Not long after there was an answer.
"This is T&T, go ahead County Mounty." said Guy Taylor.
"How, the hell did you get here so fast!?" Sheriff yelled.
"I don't really recall," replied Taylor, "all I remember
is girl Taylor, Amos, and I passing out while Corn, and Cob were workin' on the vehicle. When we woke up we were on
the beach drinkin' Mai Tais."
Sheriff Charles suddenly had an idea.
"Look! A Unicorn!" He shouted over the CB.
"Where!" Taylor responded. The last Sheriff Charles
saw of them they turned down an old back China road.
Team Sheriff's Car arrived in Shanghai and immediatlly
bedded down for the night so as to get an early start the next morning. Every other team did so as well except Team
Kittens. They had fallen asleep at the dragon and it had kept on flying. Luckily it stopped in Shanghai to pee
and Lucas' race corespondents checked them off.
As the other teams awoke the next morning they had no
way of knowing team Kittens was somewhere over the Sulu Sea in the Philippines. RJ awoke first and screamed at the fact
that they were still up in the air. This startled the dragon a little.
They flew on for sometime before they realized the dragon
was getting pretty tired. Jorge explained to the dragon that if it could get them to Darwin, Austraila then he could
go home. So the dragon spead up and they reached checkpoint 10 in no time.
