In early October of 2006 George Lucas made the decision to get out of the big budget movie business for good.  He told “Variety” that Lucasfilm was finished making movies where a large financial investment was involved.  Apparently Lucas felt that the movie business was too expensive and risky.  He decided it was a much better idea to spend $200 million making 50-60 smaller movies than one big-budget film.  All he had coming down the pipeline was “Indiana Jones 4.”  Then he was ready to get into television.

    One afternoon Lucas was hanging out at Skywalker Ranch enjoying the day when Spielberg came running up to him jumping for joy.  Apparently he had come up with a superb story for a post apocalyptic space war movie.  Lucas sat wide eyed taking in every word like a kid listening to a fairy-tale story.  When Spielberg was finished there was a pause before Spielberg spoke up. 

    “Well, what do you think?” he asked.

    “Oh… you want to do this?” Lucas replied.

    “Well yea…” answered Spielberg, “Why is that a problem?”

    “Well… I kind of already got this whole no more big-budget movie thing underway and all the guys are kind of looking forward to doing TV.” replied Lucas.

    “Oh,” said Spielberg as a wave of disappointment crashed upon his face.  He turned away from Lucas with his head hung.

    “Now hold on Steve,” said Lucas, “Don’t give up on it yet.  Look, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

    “What do you mean?”

    Lucas replied, “Well, I was just struck with a genius idea.  I’m taking a cue from Gene Wilder, Zero Mostel, Nathan Lane, and Matthew Broderick.”

    Spielberg paused for a moment before responding, “The Producers?”

    “Yea, you see what we’ll do is we’ll hold a race for charity.  We’ll say the winner gets $300 million to be donated to the charity of their choice.  We’ll be painted as the heroes for attempting to donate so much money to charity.”

    Spielberg looked confused, “What do you mean ‘attempting’ to donate?”

    Lucas got a twisted smile on his face, “We secretly sabotage the race so that no one wins.  That way when no one wins we’re left with $300 million and “nothing” to do with it.”

    “I see,” said Spielberg, “We’ll tell everyone we can’t let it go to waste and bingo, my movie gets made.”

    “Exactly,” said Lucas, “We make it where each team has to have five members.  If you don’t make it across the finish line with all your members...”

    “And in your original vehicle,” added Spielberg.

    “Yea,” continued Lucas, “and in your original vehicle, then you lose.  What else… oh!  We’ll make it an around the world race!”  With that it was underway the great Lucasfilm race was in the making.

    Some months later the race was being promoted.  Already a number of teams had entered the race.  As the race was coming along so great there was a secret meeting going on else where.  Sitting at a large circular table in a secret room was Roland Emmerich, Ridley Scott, James Cameron, John Williams, and Peter Jackson.

    “So… they plan to sabotage the race,” said Emmerich.

    “That’s what I’ve heard,” said Williams.

    “Doesn’t that beat all,” said Jackson, “Those parasites are going to make a mockery of the entire industry with this stunt.”

    “Well, it’s obvious we can’t allow this to happen,” said Scott.

    “We should stop it from happening,” said Jackson.

    “I don’t think so,” replied Cameron, “At this point if we started to protest or attempted to shut down the race we’d be painted the bad guys.”

    “He’s right,” added Ridley, “If we try to shut this down now the backlash will just gain Lucas and Spielberg more support.”

    “Well, what do you propose?” asked Emmerich.  There was a pause as everyone stopped to think.

    “Well,” spoke up Williams, “We’re just going to have to let it happen.”

    “No,” said Ridley, “Not just let it happen.  Help it happen.”  The others looked at him rather oddly.

    “What?” asked Emmerich.

    “Maybe we can distract Spielberg and Lucas enough that they won’t be able to stop the teams from finishing.” answered Ridley.

    “I don’t know,” said Cameron, “Lucas and Spielberg have some of the most decorated characters in film history at their disposal.”

    “That may be true,” said Ridley, “But we have access to some of the most deadly.”

    “No,” said Williams, “I will not be involved in this if it means unleashing the xenomorph on the world.”

    “Not on the world,” said Ridley, “Look, George and Steve know us.  We can make a strike on the Death Star.”

    Emmerich spoke at this, “They have a Death Star?”

    “Not a working one,” said Cameron, “I mean as a space station it’s operational, but as a battle station it’s not functional.”

    “Why not?” asked Emmerich.

    “The Lucasfilm engineers had moral issues with building a working battle station that could destroy the world.” answered Cameron.

    “Yes, they did,” said Williams, “I’ll have you know I’ve been to the Death Star, and I happen to know it has shuttles frequently in route to and from it.  If you are going to unleash the xenomorph I wish to have nothing to do with it.”  At this he stood up, “Good day, gentlemen.”  With that John Williams promptly exited the room.

    There was a brief pause before Ridley spoke up, “Look I can have Giger get an army of xenomorph ready to attack the station.  James, doesn’t Stan Winston still have… the Queen?”

    “Yea,” answered Cameron.

    “We can send her there too,” continued Ridley, “We’ll tell Lucas and Spielberg they are presents.  With them dealing with the xenomorph we may be able to buy time for the racers.”

    “What about Site B?” asked Jackson.

    “What’s Site B?” asked Emmerich.

    “Site B is an exact replicated island of the island in ‘Lost World Jurassic Park’,” said Jackson, “They let me film parts of ‘King Kong’ there.  It’s where they keep all the creatures they can’t keep at Skywalker Ranch.”

    “Where is it?” asked Cameron.

    “Well it’s a mechanical island,” said Jackson, “It moves around.”

    Emmerich spoke up, “Intelligence tells us the race will lead across the Atlantic.  Odds are they’ll move it there.”

    “Listen,” said Cameron as he stood up, “We’ll do what we can to distract Spielberg and Lucas but in the end it will be up to the racers to win.  We’ll just have to hope that at least one of the teams is comprised of individuals daring and strong enough to brave the hardships that will befall them.”

    RJ the Canadian opened up his mailbox to find a number of letters.  One of which was from the Save the Kittens foundation.  As the foundation’s former owner, RJ was informed of all the major things going on with the company.  He was displeased to find that the company was going through some really big budget cuts do to resent lawsuits presented by the racy messages of the Save the Kittens Foundation.  He was struck with a little grief as he found out the company would be needing some money.  He continued to thumb threw his mail until he found a letter from Lucasfilm Ltd.  He opened it up and read the letter.  His eyes got wide as he read the content.

    David Owens, Mike Savage, Jerry Adonis, Stingray, and Jason Borden had gathered at Stingray’s house to watch a WWE pay-per-view.

    “Man,” said Savage, “Don’t you wish we could put on just one more show.  You know, for old times sake.”

    “You mean like a 2XW Reunion?” asked Borden.

    “Duh!” responded Jerry, “That’d be great but remember JTR and stupid El Toro burned down our ring.”

    “Well,” said Owens, “What if we could somehow raise money for a reunion show.”

    “How’d you propose we do that?” asked Borden.  With that an advertisement popped up for the Lucasfilm Ltd. Super Race.  As the former 2XW stars watched their eyes got as big as silver dollars.

    Sheriff Charles was in hot pursuit of JTR who had just be caught with a load of moon shine.  JTR was moving like he was on his way to meet god himself and Sheriff Charles was having a difficult time keeping up.  Suddenly JTR came up on a number of deadly twists and turns in the road.  Sheriff Charles held on for dear life but he couldn’t handle the road and spun out in the ditch.  Charles threw a mighty big fit before sitting back down in his vehicle.

    “Man,” he said, “If only I had a better vehicle.”  He sighed, “Oh well.”  The Sheriff cranked his car back up and turned on the radio.  The sound of George Lucas’ voice met his ears.  He was explaining about a race.  Charles ears were glued to the radio as the terms of the race came pouring through.

    JTR came drifting into RJ and Skycam’s driveway.  He got out of the vehicle feeling rather empowered.  He had lost Sheriff Charles yet again.  Skycam came running out of the house.

    “JTR!” she yelled, “Can you talk some sense into him.”

    “Hello to you too,” said JTR, “What can I talk him out of.”

    “Hey, JTR,” yelled RJ, “We’re goin’ on a race around the world!”

    JTR paused for a moment, “We’re what!”